


Life Unexpected

by Kiraness89



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:12:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 79,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiraness89/pseuds/Kiraness89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peeta Mellark always watched Katniss Everdeen from afar never talking to her always wishing he could. After a terrible accident that leaves him blind he thinks everything is lost. Little did he know when something's meant to be life has its way of taking the most unexpected situations to lead you right where you belong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     Peeta Mellark was terrified. He kept looking back into the bakery in the hopes of being saved from this torture by anyone. But the truth was that all he could see was his mother’s evil smirk right from where he was standing. All he could see was darkness and he took a deep breath as he went out trembling like a leaf in the wind.

 

     Darkness was Peeta Mellark’s worst fear. When he was five his mom had gotten mad at him and locked him in the basement where he couldn’t reach the light switch for hours. Ever since that day, whenever she got mad he would tremble thinking that she would lock him in the basement, in the darkness. He couldn’t even close his eyes for long periods because he’d get scared. He sighed in frustration and pity. He wondered constantly why his mom didn’t like him like she liked Wheaton and Rye.

 

XOXO

 

     Mrs. Mellark; as everyone knew her in town had always been a strong and beautiful woman deeply in love with the baker’s son. Her dream basically consisted of enamoring, getting married, having kids and growing old.  A happily ever after that her young self came to realize wouldn’t happen that easy.

 

     How sad is it that love isn’t always reciprocated? She’d finally got to meet him just when he had proposed to his long time girlfriend who had turned him down to get married with a hunter. 

 

     Heartbroken the baker’s son had easily succumbed to her charms and after a year they had gotten married.

 

Being someone’s second choice did not sit comfortably with her. And so she became a bitter woman with just some happy days. As she got older her life took the course she’d imagined, she started having kids. White skinned, blonde, blue eyed-little boys. First came Wheaton, four years later came Rye and two years later and by what she liked to think of as an accident Peeta. When she finally thought she was going to have a little girl, arrived the biggest excuse of a human being.

 

     The little boy with his kind disposition reminded her so much of the baker’s son, she resented him. He easily became his father’s eyes and the perfect target for Mrs. Mellark hatred.

 

     And so, as she saw the little boy trembling more than ever walking into the dark alley, all she could do was smile menacingly and closed the door as he turned to watch her. He was getting what he deserved.

 

XOXO

 

     As he walked into the alley with the trash bag in his little hand, all he could do was think how much he hated darkness. The dark was the one thing he hated most. His mother even knew. She didn’t care it seemed, since as soon as he looked at her again she closed the door.

 

     On shaky legs Peeta started walking towards the massive trashcans in the back part of the house. He was scared. His father had told him, that the part of town where they lived was dangerous and that he had to be careful when night came. He wouldn’t have to worry for too long however; they’re moving to another house. He was going to have his own room! He sighed. Maybe that house was going to be big, and his mom would finally be happy about something. He could only hope. As he reached the trashcans he could see the silhouette of a person as small as it was, standing on a crate and looking through the trash. He panicked.

 

     “Hello?” He asked in a small voice as he started moving closer. All he could think about was dropping the trash and getting out of there. The small figure turned to look at him and lost its footing thus, fell from the crate. Peeta waited to see if it would stand up. When it didn’t he ran forward

 

     “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I did not mean to scare you. Are you okay?”He asked as he got closer and could properly see the small figure on the ground. It was just a small girl that didn’t seem to be fine. She was pale and her skin seemed too tight he thought as her bones stuck out all too obviously. He knew the girl. Katniss Everdeen. He had liked her ever since he was four and he saw her first, singing in a school assembly. But she didn't know him. He worried even more. “Are you okay?” He asked again as she finally opened her eyes.

XOXO

 

      The little voice asks her if she’s okay. She blinks repeatedly.

 

     “Fine” She croaked as she tried to sit up but couldn’t. She was too weak. Nothing to eat for days did that to people. But she could not think of her…all she had in mind was the little hungry sister waiting at home for her to return with food. Her eyes watered as she pictured her face, realizing there was no food for them. Again. Maybe she could brew up some mint leaves or take some carrots from the neighbor’s garden. Her eyes watered even more. Some days…she just wished she could turn off like her mommy did. She wished it with her heart.

XOXO

 

     “You are not fine. What’s wrong? Can I help you in any way?” He could see the girl’s gray eyes watering and even if he was just a kid he could see the hungry eyes and the starvation signs in the girl. She was painfully thin. She needed food.

 

XOXO

   “Fine” she repeated not being able to voice anything else. “Wait here please!” he pleaded and she watched him go back the way she assumed he had came from. She tried to stand a couple more times but her frail body refused. What did she have to lose? A lot she answered to herself and tried to stand up again finally getting her way, she started to walk out of the alley.

 

     “I told you to wait” he said grabbing her by the wrist and thrusting a heavy paper bag her way. “Take it please! It will help!”

 

     “Peeta!  You excuse of a human being! Can’t you do anything right?” She saw him turn his face back visibly paling.

 

     “Hide!” he whispered as he started running back. From her hiding place she could see the woman yelling at the boy for not being fast enough, for taking forever, for eating too much at dinner, for being a useless creature and other stuff. Moms' were not supposed to scold the way she was doing it with the boy. Or at least that’s what she thought. She paled as she heard the next sentence.

 

     “What did you do with the groceries that were on the counter stupid boy?” she could see him shaking his head with fear in his eyes as the woman kept yelling at him. “Did you throw them too? Can’t you answer me like you had a brain? Idiot!” the woman said grabbing his wrist violently and hitting him with the broom she found close to the door. Katniss saw the woman hit him five times, and then get into the house leaving the little boy on his knees on the floor.

 

     “Are you okay?” she asked with a small voice while taking tentative steps in the boy’s direction. When she reached him she heard his hard breathing, she could see his blue eyes shining in the night, on his cheek right under his right eye was a red welt that began to swell.

 

     “Fine” he repeated her earlier words. “You should leave now” he said looking at the door “before someone comes” and he started getting up on wobbly legs. The girl only nodded but stayed right where she was. She couldn’t see much except for the bright blue eyes and the red welt on his cheek. It really was very dark in the alley. He opened the door and smiled weakly at her “It wasn’t your fault okay?” he said finally and motioned for her to leave.  

 

     She took off running as fast as she could. She got home and took everything out of the paper bag. It was a week worth of groceries that, rationed properly would last at least 3 weeks for her, her mom and little sister.

 

By the time she felt brave enough to go back to that alley it was too late. The family had moved out or that was what Gale had told her. She could only hope the boy was all right.

 

XOXO

 

     The new house is beautiful and as promised he has his own room. His father likes him very much and together they painted his room a shade of gray that resembles the girl’s eyes.

 

His mom still doesn’t like him.

 

XOXO

 

     Peeta Mellark age twelve helps in the bakery all the time. Now that the family is opening up more bakeries, they have enough money. His mom does not have to attend work at the bakery anymore. That is just wonderful. The bakery is now his own heaven and he loves it.

 

     He sees a little blond girl every now and then watching the cakes like they are pieces of art. He secretly loves the little girl. He is the one that makes the cakes she is so fond of. One afternoon he sees the little girl standing outside looking at the cakes. He decides to invite her in and give her a cookie. He walks out and they start chatting, well it is more like she is chatting nonstop and he can only laugh and nod at the proper places. When he tells her that he is the one that makes the cakes she hugs him and congratulates him. He hands her the cookie and when she says it’s time to go he invites her over any time she wants to.

 

     As the little girl runs out of the bakery he sees her wave a little hand and when he looks to see who it is, his jaw drops, it’s the one and only Katniss Everdeen. His face drops the moment he sees the tall, dark haired boy that’s standing next to her. For the next couple of weeks Primrose keeps coming and they chat happily, up till the moment she has to go join her sister who is always accompanied by the same boy. Peeta feels sad…his heart aches…it can only be broken.

 

XOXO

 

     Katniss Everdeen age sixteen became a hunter to feed her family when she was only eight. A little boy who had taken a beating in order to feed her had motivated her. If he was brave enough to feed her and receive that amount of pain from that awful witch, she could hunt to feed her Family. She never forgot him. He was an inspiration, but no one knew, no one will ever know. Her only regret was never being able to thank him for what he did.

 

     Once in a while she would go to the market to sell whatever they had gotten with Gale, her best friend. He struggled the same way she did in order to feed his family. That had made them friends, best friends.

 

     She’s never really been curious about what Prim does in the bakery every other day she spends there. She just knows that when the time arrives she’s going to come out of there with her big smile and a cookie in her hand. She loves to spend time there, she just doesn’t know why.

 

     This is one of the rare days Gale is not with her, and so when she arrives outside the bakery she feels really awkward standing outside with no one to wait with. Prim does not come out after ten minutes or so, so Katniss being as impatient as she is, comes to the bakery window and watches through the window pane. All she can see is two blonde heads sticking together hovering over something. When she gets closer she sees them both stand up with identical smiles on their faces. They could pass easily as brother and sister. The boy has the same blonde hair Prim does and the same shining blue eye color. On his right cheek he’s got what seems to be red icing. And just like that, the memory of a pair of blue eyes and red welt on the cheek strikes her. She wonders how the boy is doing and if he is okay. She probably is never going to see him again, she sighs.

 

     Right at that exact moment both blonds turn their heads in the direction of the window and watch her standing there. Prim seems to excuse herself and kisses the boy on the cheek after wiping the red icing. He gives her two cookies and looks up waving as she exits the bakery. He smiles in Katniss’ direction and all she can do is blush. She feels stupid. As soon as Prim exits she takes her hand and runs from there.

 

XOXO

 

     Peeta Mellark; age seventeen is tired. His mom won’t stop yelling at him and his brother Rye who’s in the back seat right behind his mother with his headphones on. That clever bastard! She keeps yelling about all sorts of things but after seventeen years of that he’s learned to just nod in the right places and never talk back. It is only for the best. Why had he forgotten his ipod at home? He sighed.

 

     His mom, now focused on him glances at him every once in a while, while driving. He just turns his head to the right side, as if it is really easy being on the copilot’s seat. His mom starts yelling at Rye who’s gotten his headphones out and turns for a moment to look at him in her anger. She doesn’t look if there’s a car coming. Why should she? The light is green. But that split second where she turns her head to look at Rye is enough for her to keep the car going and to not notice the other car speeding in on the right.

 

     Peeta knows she won't see it. “Mom!” he yells but when she turns and is about to yell at him her eyes turn panicked. It is too late.

 

     The last thing Peeta sees is his mother’s blank stare and the blinding light the other car gives off as everything turns into chaos. He hears the awful sound of glass breaking and metal twisting as he feels a terrible pain in the head and on his right side. Then everything goes black. He hates darkness.

 

XOXO

 

     Maybe if his mother had been paying attention to the road instead of focusing all her energy yelling at Peeta and him they would not be in a hospital right now waiting to hear whether his little brother would survive or not.

 

     His mom feels guilty, that much is obvious…even if he had always thought his mom didn’t have feelings for Peeta. His dad can’t stop crying. Wheaton’s expressionless face is still the same and he…feels empty. His mother asked him to drive home but he was tired…he refused. If it would’ve been him driving this wouldn’t have happened. He would have paid attention. He feels dizzy and groggy from the pain medicine the doctors gave him. He said he was okay but the pain was really unbearable on his left shoulder and chest where the seatbelt had embedded itself on him and left a big red and purplish mark. He doesn’t want to sleep, not until he knows.

 

     When he wakes up he is mad at himself for falling asleep. He starts asking what happened and Wheaton says that a nurse came out of the operation room and said he would live. When the doctor finally comes out he says that Peeta is okay but still delicate and he is to be taken to the ICU and that he’ll be fine. But when he hears the “but” coming from the doctor everything turns foggy like a dream. All he understands, and he doesn’t know if it is because of the stupid medication or if he actually is stupid, is “too soon to know and blind."

 

     His mom is stoic, his dad is crying harder and Wheaton is finally showing emotion, his face is falling apart bit for bit like in disintegration. He is sure his face looks the same.  

 

XOXO

 

     Everything aches like crazy. He feels like he can’t breathe properly and when he tries to move he can’t. He can’t remember where he is. He doesn’t even try to open his eyes, he is too tired.

 

     This time he feels a bit better. He can hear his Dad’s and brother’s voices in the background. Of course his mother is not there. He still feels exhausted and he soon falls asleep without opening his eyes.

 

     “What good is he going to be in that condition. He won’t be able to work at the bakery; he won’t be able to go to school. He turned a weight on our shoulders like this. What good is he?” demands his mother. But he can only hear voices.

 

     “Mother shut up!” yelled Rye. “This was your fault! So stop saying that about my brother! Stop it!” He heard the gasps and the door opening and closing.

 

     “Dad? Rye?” His voice sounded like nothing but a hoarse whisper. His throat is dry from the lack of use. He tries opening his eyes but when he does he sees nothing. “Why is everything so dark?” he asks as he blinks a couple of times just to be sure he opens his eyes.

 

     It is Rye who answers. “The driver was drunk Peeta…mom didn’t see it until you told her…it was too late. It hit your side…you…your eyes…” his father starts crying again. This cannot be good.

 

     He isn’t stupid, just tired and he knows perfectly well what his brother is not saying…or more like trying to say.

 

     "Everything will be alright Peeta” Wheaton says. “We are going to fix this! I promise!” He knows his brother believes it. He knows it isn’t true.

 

     “Rye, are your okay?” Peeta asks. To be honest he doesn’t really know how to feel…or what he is supposed to be feeling right now.

 

“I am ok Peeta” he says with a sad voice.

 

“So…I am…”

 

“Yes Peeta. You are blind"

 

     

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

 

 They say that things get worse before they can get better.

 

     For Peeta Mellark this doesn’t seem to apply. His shoulder is dislocated with the force of the impact. His leg broke, and he almost bled to death from internal damage. He had to have a transfusion. He has an assortment of scratches on his arms, forehead and most of all…he is blind. He still hates darkness…now he lives in it. It’s not like he sees dark…he just doesn’t see anything, and that is living in darkness.

 

     He wakes up almost every night soaked from sweat and shivering at the same time. He always relives the exact moment he saw the car coming towards him. He can hear the glass braking and the metal twisting. It is like he is never going to escape from it and he can’t run away. Sometimes he would see darkness following him until it surrounds him. Those are the worst ones…those ones make him wake up screaming. It takes Rye almost half an hour to get him back to sleep. Sometimes he just can’t sleep and they stay up talking to nurses or each other.

 

     When he gets back home he is sent immediately to rest. The doctors have assured him that his blindness may not be permanent. There are many treatments and surgeries that he can have performed if that’s the case. He thinks they don’t know what they are talking about.

 

     He spends all of his time in his bed. He will need to use a wheelchair for a while, but for the moment jumping on one foot is kind of his way of moving around. He remembers where everything is so he can easily move around his room. That gives him a little hope, maybe he can move around by himself contrary to what he thought at the beginning. Maybe…just maybe his mother was wrong and he is going to be of some use… independent in some sort of way. That’s what he thinks until…

 

     He is spending this afternoon at the bakery. His mom never goes there so Rye thought it would be a good idea to take him out of his room where he was growing roots, Rye’s exaggerations. He sits him in the back on a stool because he still doesn’t have the wheelchair. He is singing along with his brother when they hear the sound of something big coming from the alley. “Wait here! I’ll go see what this is about” says Rye and he can hear his footsteps as he goes away.

 

     “Good afternoon Mrs. Mellark. My name is Primrose Everdeen and I just wanted to know if Peeta is around. I wanted to talk to him for a while”. He is surprised not by the visit of the little blonde, but hearing his mother is in the bakery. This cannot end well.

 

     “What do you think you are doing here in my bakery?! And looking for my son you cheap seam girl!” she yells and he can hear Prim gasp. His mother is old fashioned in some sort of way and still calls Seam the people from the poorest part of the town. Calling someone Seam rat is not new to him but it is a big insult that Prim doesn’t deserve.

 

     “I’m sorry Mrs. Mellark I just…” but she doesn’t finish as his mom starts yelling again. Telling her all sorts of insults that he knows for sure will make little Prim cry. And she does as he starts hearing the small whimpers.  He stands up. He needs to stop his mother before she kicks Prim out of the bakery in a more drastic way! He knows the bakery perfectly well but he is not sure of where Rye had sat him so he feels disoriented.

 

     “Mother stop it!” he yells as he stretches his hand in hopes of feeling a wall or something that can give him a hint of where he is standing but there’s nothing. He just follows the voice of his mother and starts walking faster. As he approaches the voices, something gets in his way and he falls flat on his face. He feels the small trickling of blood coming down his nose as he sits up.

 

     “What were you trying to do useless creature?!” his mom yells so he knows he reached his destination. “Trying to be this little seam rat hero were you?” she starts laughing evilly and Peeta feels small…meaningless. “You see little rat? He can’t help you…he is useless now…worthless really, even to a seam rat like you…so you better stop coming here did you hear me?”

 

     “Yes Mrs. Mellark” he hears the small voice and the whimpers and his heart breaks.

 

     “I’m sorry Prim” he says as he hears her footsteps.

 

     “Rye! Take your useless brother out of here! He can’t do anything so I don’t know why you brought him here to be nothing but a hindrance. Take him out of here I don’t even want to see his pathetic face”. He feels every word stab at his heart. He knows it’s the truth. Each one of those words described exactly what he had become.

 

     On the way home he tells Rye what happened as he holds a piece of ice to his nose. He tells him that he couldn’t even help Prim and that she surely is never going to talk to him again. She shouldn’t anyway…he can’t help her now…he can’t bake with her nor teach her to paint or do any of the things they used to do. As his brother drives him home he realizes that his mother is right. He is useless…he is worthless…he is a hindrance.

 

     Just to make him feel worse, he thinks, his mother starts telling the story of “Peeta the hero” in front of the family at the dinner table. Laughing so hard that he swears she is crying. He can’t see but he is sure that his brothers and Dad agree. Peeta wants to die.

 

XOXO

 

     Katniss Everdeen wants to kill the awful witch from the bakery. It was only Prim’s insistence and uncle Haymitch’s words that convinced her otherwise.

 

     Oh yeah! They are living with uncle Haymitch now. He thought it was necessary after he got called a few weeks ago because Elise (her mom) had gone crazy when she had seen a car accident on the late night news. The car had been practically destroyed and in such a similar way to her father’s car, that she couldn’t blame her mom much for losing it.

 

     So yeah, they live now with uncle Haymitch until her mom recovers. But getting back to what happened the other day…after many days of not going to the bakery Prim decided she missed the blonde guy too much and decided to go visit. Every time she came with a sad face because he had not been there. But the last time she came home crying. The awful woman had yelled at her so many insulting things that Prim did not want to repeat them. Deep inside Katniss knew that was not the only reason she was crying ,but who was she to interrogate. She let it pass because Prim promises that nothing the awful woman said hurt her ,and Haymitch promises to have a word with the woman should this occur again.

 

XOXO

 

     Prim cries so hard she falls asleep. She cries not for the awful words Peeta’s mother said. She cries because she remembers way too clearly how she saw Peeta limping to where she was. The exact moment the awful woman shoved the chair with her foot and how it made him trip.

 

     The exact moment she realized that Peeta is blind as he tries to look up but looks at nothing. He couldn’t see her and the desperation it caused him was worse than any insult. She cries because she hurts for him. She cries because the awful things the woman told him were too horrible to be said to anyone. And her heart breaks for him.

 

XOXO

 

     He doesn’t know if he is a coward or brave for not committing suicide. Too much of a coward to kill himself or too brave to keep going knowing very well that he can’t see and that he can’t do anything. Not even save Prim from his mom.

 

     As he decides not to kill himself…his brothers decide to take him to therapy. They think his blindness won’t be permanent so it is just to keep his mind off things and to keep him from his mom. Of course they don’t say the last part.

 

     He doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to make someone waste their time on him. He knows he’s becoming a jerk the moment Delly, his best friend, yells at him telling him so. Peeta is no longer a kind person. He finally knows what to feel for what happened to him. He is angry…angry with God for allowing bad things to happen to good people. He doesn’t understand. Why him. What did he do to deserve this?

 

Peeta is bitter now and doesn’t want to live, but he doesn’t seem to have a choice.   

 

XOXO

 

     Allium is a volunteer. She thinks it´s important to give back as much as you receive and she sure has received a lot from the center. She learned to read Braille in order to convince Fennel, her little brother that he had to learn because it wasn’t hard. Well, it was kind of hard.

 

     She knows that she is not a certified teacher like the rest of the people who work here, but she knows she can teach because she’s been teaching for a while to some of the difficult kids. She is patient and she doesn’t know why but they tend to like her when they like no one else. You know that a kid is difficult when he or she goes from Tina to Portia…and finally they get to het. She always knows how to make them work and help them; she just knows how to approach them.

 

     She is watching over the small kids when they hear the yelling and rustling of paper. They all turn their heads in the same direction. It is easy to forget that most of them are blind.

 

     “Please Peeta. It’s not that hard! I promise it is not that hard, you just have to try” Portia is pleading to the blonde guy sitting with her. Portia must like him if she is pleading that way. “Why should I keep trying? I can’t do anything by myself…I can’t do anything at all…I am useless my own mother even said it…Why are you bothering?!” he yells and everyone around who’s heard must feel awful. She knows she does. And yes, everyone does feel awful, the next thing she sees are Portia’s eyes watering.

 

     She feels the small hand of her brother on her arm and looks down. “Go Alli” he says reassuring her. She doesn’t know how he does it…but he can always look at her without doing it. “I don’t think it’s a good idea Fenn” she says as she looks where the blonde guy is. Portia is crying silently but has not left him alone. He is crying too. “Please…he sure sounds like he needs you” he says winking and she can only sigh as she approaches Portia from behind and places her hand on her shoulder. When she looks up she gives her what she can only hope is a reassuring smile. Portia stands up and says “I am going to leave you with Allium, Peeta…I will be right back…” he doesn’t even move.

 

     “My name is Allium…weird right? But everyone calls me Alli so you can call me that if it’s okay with you…” she says taking a seat right next to him.

    “Peeta” he answers, but adds nothing else.

 

    “I am a volunteer here at the center…my little brother comes here every day too, so 90% of my time is spent here” she waits a couple of seconds and he still says nothing. To be expected, she thinks, but still she is going to keep talking.

 

     “I think…” but she doesn’t even finish he cuts her off.

 

     “Don’t bother…I am not coming back…It is a waste of your time to try and teach a useless person like me to read…it’s not like a I can do anything useful. I am blind that’s all I am” he said and tried to remove the brake from his wheelchair but couldn’t find it. “Fuck!” he spat.

 

     She tugs his sleeve and takes his hand placing it on the brake of the wheelchair. “I can assure you Peeta that you are not going to be a waste of my time as long as you are willing to learn. I can assure you too that you are not useless! You can still do many things relying on your other senses and being blind is not what defines you at all” she says as she allows him to remove the brake by himself. “If you want to leave you can do it…be my guest but if you want to learn how to be independent you can stay and I can teach you” she says serious. She stands up dragging the chair as she does so he can hear she is leaving.

 

     “I am sorry” he says “But I don’t think I can be…” she places her fingers on his lips quieting him. “Don’t say you can’t be useful…I know you can… what do you like to do? I will prove to you that you can still do all those things!” She says with a smile on her face. She is good at giving away her feelings through her voice. He sighs. Maybe he is going to talk to her just to make her go away. He doesn’t know that this is her modus operandi. This is what usually happens. They talk to make her go away but they don’t want her to go away later.

 

     He remains shut until his brothers show to pick him up. They say they will bring him back tomorrow; she smiles and squeezes his hand before he goes.

 

     She knows he will come back. He is bitter right now but he should be…she had her anger period too in which she got mad at God for her life. Now she accepts it. And she knows he is going to too. She is going to help him. Even if it is the last thing she does.

 

XOXO

 

     “Primrose” she smiles as she extends her hand.

 

     “Allium but people call me Alli.” The girl smiles too. Prim likes her. She is a bit taller than her small complexion, light brown hair that falls in soft curls to her waist and big brown doe eyes that show nothing but patience and kindness. She’s got a sling on her arm and a bruise on her cheekbone but she doesn’t ask. “So, you are going to be my new ally?” she asks as she motions for her to follow with her good arm.

 

     “Yes” she answers. Rye, the middle Mellark had called her a couple of weeks ago. She didn’t know how he had gotten his uncle’s number, but he had done so. He had told her how depressed and bitter Peeta was. He sounded worried. He told her that Peeta missed her and that since she wasn’t going to the bakery again which she only confirmed, he thought it to be a good idea for her to visit the center where they were taking the grumpy ass of her brother, his words not hers, to learn Braille and other stuff.

 

     She had gone to just take a look at the place and had loved it. Of course that same day she volunteered and got herself in the situation she was now. She liked it here and if she could see and help Peeta and other people, she wanted to.

 

XOXO

 

     Prim would come home every single day talking about the same things. How she loves the center, how awesome her new friend “Alli” is, and how much she is seeing the baker again. She doesn’t know why he is working at the center now instead of the bakery, but she doesn’t ask.

 

     She doesn’t know why but the baker intrigues her. She feels as if she knows him from somewhere but she just can’t remember. But if he has some mysterious business with her sister, she is going to be having a conversation with him soon.

 

     So the day she is going to cross the street, and she sees him standing there she decides it is as good as any other day to talk to him.

 

     She doesn’t know how to approach him so she decides to stand next to him but she can’t say a thing. She clears her throat but again…nothing comes out. Agh! She can do this…she can ask him what his intentions with her little sister are…she looks at him wondering why he doesn’t feel uncomfortable with her staring at him. She knows she is using her killer glare. He doesn’t even turn to see her. It is like he is ignoring her. The light has barely changed from green to red when he starts taking the first steps. There is a car coming kind of fast and it does not look like it is stopping so she throws her arm in front of him to prevent him from walking any further.

 

     She looks up at him but sees no reaction on his face. What the hell is wrong with this boy? Does he have some kind of suicide wish? “Thank you,” he says still no showing emotion.

 

     “Hey!!! Oh my God!!! Don’t do that ever again Peet! That car almost ran you over!” says the small blonde girl to the boy frantically. “Chill Delly! Nothing happened” he says with the same monotonous voice. “Thank you!” says the blonde girl after taking the boys arm and walking forward.

 

     What had just happened? He had just blatantly ignored her. And she could not allow that. Peeta Mellark is going to listen to her and pay attention. He would not ignore her again. And she is going to make sure of it even if she has to kick his ass.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

Alli realizes way too son that getting him to work with her is going to be the hardest thing she’s ever done so far. He actually thinks he is useless and not worth her time and she can’t believe that someone like him who looks so full of life (well not right now…but well she knows he is)…is so readily willing to give up on life. 

Peeta keeps coming back to therapy. It’s been weeks and he never says a thing…she just talks about the most stupid things, she realizes, or reads to him but he never says a thing. “Stop wasting your time!” he says one day as he is leaving. 

“I am not” she answers as he is leaving making sure he hears. “See you tomorrow” she smiles. She knows she gets on his nerves.   
XOXO  
He doesn’t understand why she doesn’t give up. She talks and talks every day and he never says a thing. It’s like he’s there but he actually is not. One day as he is leaving he tells her to stop wasting her time. She says she is not and that she is going to see him tomorrow. He doesn’t know why…but little by little he is feeling more like giving it a try. If she is not giving up on him after weeks of sitting with him for hours without progress maybe he can try. 

When he gets to the center she doesn’t show up immediately like she always does. That is weird he thinks but soon he feels someone sitting next to him.   
“My name is Fennel but everyone calls me Fenn” says the little voice. He knows is a kid’s voice. “I am Alli’s brother…I want to apologize for her” he doesn’t understand and is about to ask when the little boy keeps talking. “She wanted to come today…but they wouldn’t allow it…the hospital I mean…she was in too much pain so they decided to make her stay” 

“Hospital?” he asks and suddenly worry fills him to the core. He even gets a little scared noting for the first time he actually cares about something. “Is she sick or something?” he keeps asking. 

“No” answers the little boy he listens to the chair being dragged closer to his and suddenly feels the little boys breathing next to him. “She got hurt…he hit her again…I couldn’t do anything…just call the police…luckily they got there right on time. Sometimes I get really scared you know? That I won’t make it on time and he is going to kill her. Please don’t tell anyone they would separate us…” Peeta understands…he felt like that when his mother was yelling at Prim…but his mother was not going to kill Prim…this little kid was worried about someone killing his sister. 

Peeta feels cold dread fill him. He actually feels sick physically. “Who hit her? Is anyone hitting you too?” he asks desperate. 

“No, he never hits me because she hides me…it’s always her…mom is not even home when he does and even if she were…I don’t think she would stop him you know?” he says in a timid voice and then adds “No one knows…she never tells anyone…she always says she tripped or something…she is really brave you know? She’s helped me learned everything I know. I heard you saying that you couldn’t do anything…that you were useless but I don’t think you are you know? It is going to be hard but you can learn to go everywhere by yourself with a cane…you can learn how to read…you can learn to do all sorts of things. My sister is sad because she says you are not even trying but she won’t give up on you…can you not…give up on yourself?” 

Peeta is stunned.  
XOXO  
It’s been months with Peeta the jerk as their roommate. They don’t know how to stand it anymore. They love their brother but the thing is…that the person living with them is not Peeta anymore. 

They are not stupid. They know perfectly well that he hasn’t been learning anything at the center. They have watched the girl talking nonstop to him every day for the past two months not even making a dent on his resolution of giving up on life. They keep taking him because even if it is just to complain about her she is all he talks about now. How she told him science was stupid and he thought she was stupid. How she read him a stupid boring book today like if that would change something and all other sorts of complains. 

But they know he is close to break down when they pick him up and he is sitting next to a little boy and he is actually talking to the boy. The closer they get the more they listen to the conversation and the normality of it strikes them both. They are talking about cartoons. 

“I think that’s the best episode by far” says the little boy and Peeta just smiles slightly as he replies that the little’s boy taste is the worst. They are surprised. The little boy had made Peeta the dead smile…a little smile but a smile none the less. As they stand there the everyday girl approaches them and salutes them. She’s got her arm on a sling and seems pale but she smiles. She explains she had a little accident and couldn’t make it today but that she sent her best asset. They don’t doubt it as they watch Peeta discussing with the little boy. He is talking…he is being kind of his old self again and for the first time in a long time they feel happy. 

XOXO  
Talking to the little kid made him think.

From the moment his brothers picked him up at the center all he’s been doing is thinking. At the beginning he didn’t know how to feel so he just felt empty and then the anger had taken over him. And now he was angry and bitter all the time…and then his mother with her stabbing words had made everything crumble…he can’t help but to think that he had been optimistic for a moment before the Prim tragedy as he called it in his head. 

Everyone’s hopes are up but his. His brothers taking him there every day knowing he’s refused to learn all this time. The people on the center always encouraging him and then this chick trying to help him too even though he’s been a jerk and even though she’s got her own problems. Always patient and kind talking to him until he decides he wants to do something for himself. He feels pathetic. 

All this time he’s wanted to die, not to live anymore and he hasn’t stop for once to think about the horrors other people must be facing…and not all of them are giving up on their lives. Hope, that’s what they have that he seems to lack. For example, this girl…according to Fennel their dad died when he was little…his mom turned into a heartless person that cared little for them…then she had gotten this step father that hits the girl on a regular basis according to Fennel and Portia who had joined the conversation at some point. He wouldn’t compare blindness to this because they were not in the same situation but he was sure that she must have wanted to die at some point of her life…and she was still there….not giving up on her…not giving up on other people. 

“There’s always someone on a much worse situation Peeta, it’s just that you don’t always notice”. Portia had said and he was sure it was the truth. 

For the first time in months he thinks that maybe he can’t give up on himself either. 

XOXO  
“I think John is the best Beatle” she says and when she sees his face she feels stupid for starting today’s conversation with a random fact. But since he never bothers to answer why should she mind right? 

“I think Paul is the best Beatle” he says as he turns to where she is sitting and she can only gape. She smiles and recovers quickly. 

“Okaaaay I think you are worse than I thought” she finally sees him smile a little. 

They talk for a long time that day. He is still serious and don’t let much on but she can see that little by little she will get him to open up. They decide they are going to make some sort of contract with rules and everything to guide their business relationship as he calls it. She will teach him everything she knows as long as he is willing to learn. She will not force him and she will never treat him as a blind person. He snorts when she establishes that as a rule and asks how she is going to do that. She just laughs. 

The day the little blond enters the center she knows she is going to volunteer. Volunteers have something that she can see miles away. When Portia calls her and introduces her as Peeta’s teacher she knows the blond is here for him. 

“Primrose” she smiles as she extends her hand. 

“Allium but people call me Alli” she says with a smile. “So, you are going to be my new ally?” she asks as she motions for her to follow with her good arm. 

“Yes” she answers. She makes a noise she knows sounds like feigned relief. “I’m glad he’s got a friend who cares to come and bare his grumpy butt” she says smiling. “He’s not as he used to be…but he’s coming back to his senses…I know he is going to be his old self sooner than later…right now don’t feel bad if he says some sarcastic or cutting comment…he tends to do that...” The little girl has the saddest face. “He will be fine Primrose!” she says so because she is convinced of this. “We are allies now right? You will help me bring him back”. Both girls smile and spend the rest of the afternoon with Prim telling her stories of all the things she and Peeta used to do.   
XOXO  
Delly takes him out for a walk. He hates the way she holds his arm but he knows is for his own good. At some point while they are walking she stops and he keeps walking. He stops because he can hear the cars. He is just standing there but he is getting the feeling that someone is staring. He shivers a little…he can’t see it but he can feel it…how fucked up? When he hears the cars stop coming this way he starts taking small steps only to feel an arm across his chest stopping him from moving. He hears the car pass immediately after the arm stopped him. 

“Thanks” he says. 

“Hey!!! Oh my God!!! Don’t do that ever again Peet! That car almost ran you over!” says Delly frantically. “Chill Delly! Nothing happened” he says with the same monotonous voice. “Thank you!” says Delly to the same person who saved him moments ago. And they start walking again while Delly scorns him for his recklessness. He smiles and that quiets her for a while. “Hey, Peeta? I love you, you are my best friend…I am glad you are alive” she says with emotion on her voice. “I love you too Delly…you are my best friend too” he says because he feels it…but he can’t quite share the being glad for being alive sentiment yet. Not yet. 

XOXO  
They know it’s going to be a long road but they know they will make it! Both feel that this is the start of a great friendship. 

The day Prim comes to visit Peeta for the first time as a volunteer is the day she sees Peeta cry. Prim takes his hands and starts crying too. She leaves them alone. When she comes back they are both red eyed, red nosed but smiling. 

Little by little, she is sure now, they will bring him back.   
XOXO  
He doesn’t know where Katniss got the idea that little Prim and Peeta Mellark were in some sort of relationship. He knows it’s not truth because Prim has been going out with his little brother Rory…Katniss doesn’t know but whenever he tries to defend Peeta she stops him saying he is being irrational. He has an urgent need to face palm himself but only manages to roll his eyes. Well, she’s going to have to see for herself. 

Katniss can be very stubborn. So when she finds out Johanna has gotten a job at the bakery she turns him into her personal detective. 

Johanna is his girlfriend. He still isn’t used to call her that because from an outsiders view they are nothing but friends from the way they behave in public. But being in public is one thing…and well…is another thing. His relationship with Johanna stunned everyone…he understood why. Everyone thought Katniss and him were sort of an item. He will not deny that he did thought he loved her once upon a time but his feelings had changed with the time. Friends can get confused with feelings when they spend that much time together. The thing is that you realize it is not the same feeling when you meet someone else that actually makes you feel like out of your body. When he met Johanna he had felt that and up from there his feelings for Katniss had taken the respective place. He loved her like a brother loves his little sister. 

His job as a detective consists on getting Johanna to get information about Peeta’s whereabouts when he is not at the bakery. She wants to kick his ass for having something with her little sister and for ignoring her. And it has been a very difficult task to accomplish since for the last week he’s not been at the bakery. Not one time. 

 

So Johanna tells them that he hasn’t been on the bakery for months now or so said middle Mellark. He spends all his time at the center. Well, starting at two o clock when both brothers leave her in charge of the bakery to take him to the center and then they pick him up around five. Katniss smiles happily at the information since she thinks she is finally to get to do what she wants. He knows she is going to drag him to the center…and he is going to have to stop her from killing Mellark. 

XOXO  
She practically has to drag Gale to the center. He doesn’t want to hit Peeta Mellark and keeps insisting that Prim and Mellark have nothing going on but oh well…he never knows anything. 

They get to the center and Gale as the traitor he is just points to the table where prim is with two other people a blond haired head that surely is Peeta’s and a brown haired head that probably is the Alli girl and leans against the wall with a smirk. 

She sees Prim blushing as the other two are talking to her. She sees the Alli girl squeeze Peeta’s arm in an affectionate way and she can’t believe that he is playing that way with both girls. Suddenly Prim notices her standing there and waves motioning her to come over to the table. She approaches reluctantly…there are too many witnesses…she won’t be able to kick anyone’s ass today. She sighs. 

“Katniss! What are you doing here?” asks Prim with the biggest smile on her face. “Are you going to volunteer too?” and for a moment she considers it…her murderous instinct telling her that in that way she would be able to kill the other two in the table easily. 

“No, just came to pick you up…let’s go” she says in a rush. 

“Just let me introduce you!” says Prim brilliantly and Katniss feels like kicking her. “This is Alli and this is Peeta” she says smiling happily. “They are the friends I’ve been telling you about”

“Nice to meet you Katniss I have heard so much about you” says the Alli girl smiling fondly and for a minute Katniss thinks she likes the sincerity in this girl. She looks at Peeta now but she can only see tension coming from him. Yes, be afraid she thinks but he doesn’t even turn his head he just nods and keeps looking to the front. Ignoring her again…how rude! She just gets mad and takes Prim hand rushing her out of the table rapidly. 

“Bye guys!” she yells and she hears the two saying good bye too. 

When she reaches the door Gale is laughing so hard his eyes are watering. Maybe after all she is going to kick someone’s ass today.   
XOXO  
They have a small reunion on her porch drinking tea, eating some fish that Finnick brought and playing cards. 

Everything is going great up until the moment Gale brings the Center story and everyone starts laughing. 

“I can’t believe you would think that Peeta Mellark has something going on with little Prim” says Finnick laughing loudly next to Annie. “He is like her big brother…she’s made sure everyone knows so”

“Besides I saw him very cozy with a brunette the other day” says Johanna smiling. Katniss feel a weird thing taking over her insides. 

“I don’t think Peeta is going out with anyone right now…his mother wouldn’t allow it…” says Annie as she puts a card on the pile. 

“I’m not so sure… I saw him with the brunette too” says Finnick checking his cards and smiling triumphantly when he places one and is left with one on his hand. The weird feeling starts growing more and more on Katniss. She doesn’t know why. 

“UNO!” yells everyone noticing that he’s got just one card left on his hand. They all start laughing as Finnick drags the whole lot of cards on the table to his hands with a look of defeat. 

“That’s cheating” he says. “But really… I think they do have a thing going on…they are together like…all the time…I will ask him…he can’t lie to me” he says organizing his numerous cards. 

“Oh! But don’t be jealous” says Johanna eyeing Katniss. “I’m sure Mellark only has eyes for you” she says laughing as everyone joins her like they are sharing some inner joke. 

Katniss just scowls. If they only knew Peeta Mellark doesn’t even acknowledge her they would laugh harder. Prim talks all the time about him and she feels like she knows him but she doesn’t so she doesn’t know why him not acknowledging her is bothering her. She just sighs. What the hell is wrong with her? 

 

AN. I hope there’s someone out there actually enjoying this. Next chapter we’ll see more of Katniss and Peeta. Maybe Alli does not seem to be very important but Katniss personality wouldn’t have been good as Peeta’s teacher…she doesn’t strike me as the patient type…but I promise she is going to be an inspiration to him too!  
Thank you so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

It’s been a long while but he’s been learning. Alli never mentioned what had happened to her but did say that with one arm hurt it would be kind of hard to teach him to read Braille the way she did with all her other students and so for the month she had been with her cast they had taken to learn other stuff with Prim’s help. 

He feels better now…a little bit more like his old self…but far from him. He still has some bad days like the day he stumbled and fell on top of Alli and hurt her. She didn’t say a thing but he could hear the strain in her voice when she asked Portia to help him up. Useless…that’s how he had felt and those days that made him feel that way were always only worse when he got home and his mom would highlight his incompetence to do anything right. And then he has some good days in which he feels like he can accomplish everything. Like when Alli and Prim would encourage him and teach him stuff. 

Using the cane was difficult…walking around using just a stick, like he calls it, to know where you are going is fucked up. He tells Alli she is crazy for allowing him to walk around with that thing…she just dismisses him. 

She gives him the cane and teaches him to hold it with one hand centered in front of his body, she teaches him to move it the right way, not moving his arm and in rhythm with his walking pace. She takes him for a little walk in the dance room in the center and teaches him to focus by placing obstacles on his way and talking the entire way. He has to answer of course and that’s the difficult part. When she finally takes him out she teaches him to feel the position of the sun and for the first time in a long while he pictures something on his head. He learns to feel the direction of the breeze and to listen more carefully to whatever surrounds him. They take a walk outside and he gets familiar with the places and the different textures of the terrain. Puddles, ice, sand, she takes him everywhere…even the woods where once again they encounter Katniss. 

Alli has brought a blanket and they are lying down under a big tree he knows because he can’t feel the sun and that must be what is covering them, when they hear the sound of careful steps approaching. 

“You hear that, right?” asks Alli and when he nods she squeezes his arm. That’s the way she lets him know she is proud or happy about something. It is amazing how you can get to meet someone without seeing the person. Usually people get to know each other for their facial expressions and the way you see them move. With Alli it has been a different experience. He knows when she is sad or happy or mad at something (the last one being on extremely rare occasions) just by the way she holds his arm or hand when teaching him or the sound of her voice. He is perplexed that she could even teach him that because he can do so with everyone on his family, even Prim. 

“You are not supposed to be here!” says the voice with a cold calculating voice. He recognizes it immediately but apparently Alli who has actually seen Katniss before does not recognize the person in front of them. He stays still all muscles tense lying on the blanket. 

“They said this area was for camping I don’t understand what the problem is…Katniss is it?” answered Alli with a serious tone. Okay, maybe he had misjudged Ali, she does remember. 

“Not…sorry” answers Katniss but as she is leaving they still can hear her mumble some things. “Finnick, right, together, not here, he’s everywhere…not supposed to be here” 

“Okaaaaay that was crazy” answers Alli and drops next to Peeta again. He just sighs…the effect that girl has on him even now he can’t see is amazing. He just wishes he would have had the guts to talk to her before he became useless…his humor takes a nosedive after that. 

When Alli starts teaching him Braille he gets mad more often than not. It is hard. She didn’t lie when she said so. She said it would be like learning to read all over again and now he wonders how he made it the first time. 

Her arm is still stiff so she has a hard time sometimes holding his hands. Yes, holding his hands. She washes her hands and makes him wash his with warm soapy water. She explains the structure, the sequence of cells, the dots and tells him to get used to the dots. It does help to have his hands warm from the water. 

So after she gives him the theory and shows him how it works she asks for his permission to take his hands. At first he is reluctant he doesn’t like the idea of anyone touching him. Not now. But he accepts that it’s her method and he has to allow it. She takes his hands and shows him where the line starts and so she starts teaching him. Whenever it gets too difficult he gets mad and that’s when she uses the big weapons…Fennel or Prim. He can’t possibly yell at them the way he does with her. He knows that his normal self would never under any circumstances yell to a girl but this is not the usual Peeta Mellark we are talking about. 

So with the help of all of them…even Delly and sometimes Annie he learns to read and he loves it. The latter ones never actually teach him anything but calm him enough so Alli can keep teaching him. 

Time passes…classes are supposed to start soon at school and he just can’t picture himself going back to school. He won’t. 

“Sooooo” Alli says that afternoon as they are sitting in their usual table. 

“What?” he asks. Today he is in a bad mood. 

“We are expecting some company…thought I had to let you know” she says in a quiet voice. She knows the best way to approach him on a bad mood is to talk lowly and slowly. Soon after she gives him notice his Dad, Prim, Annie, Delly, Finnick, Wheaton and Rye show up. 

“We wanted to talk to you about something…and Alli is not supposed to bare your grumpy but by herself so we thought it a good idea to intervene” 

“Traitor” he mutters and hears Alli sigh.

“School is starting soon…you only have a few credits to fulfill and you can graduate…we want you to go to school” says Rye 

“No” he says and he doesn’t even have to think about it. Just because he’s learned all these things about how to interact and being blind doesn’t mean he wants to subject himself to that kind of humiliation. “I won’t” 

“Listen Peeta we all are still in school…we can graduate together and we can help you in school you can still make it” says Delly happily. He keeps shaking his head. Why are they doing this to him? He just feels like crying. This is his blindness hitting him square in the face again. 

“Look Peeta” and he knows is Alli talking because she is the only person who does not make an uncomfortable voice or noise when using words like look and see. True to her word she doesn’t treat him like a blind person. “I have to take classes to fulfill the same quantity of credits you need to fulfill…we can take the same classes or similar so we can help each other…it doesn’t have to be an impossible task…”

“Dude! You can do this! You’ve done harder things before Peeta… you’ve come a long way learning all those things that you can’t possibly be wanting to give up right now…not right now” says Finnick. In this kind of situations that he hates Finnick’s optimism. Besides he’s not even in school anymore…he graduated on time…

They all give him their reasons but he can’t stop shaking his head negatively he doesn’t want to go to school…he does not want to expose himself. So far only the people on this table know about his condition and he wants it to stay that way. 

“You will do this Peeta Mellark” his father says in a strong voice. Immediately he feels the familiar squeeze of Alli on his arm and Prim’s little hand taking his and squeezing. “I will not have no for an answer…You will do this” he repeats and he can hear as the chair makes a big noise as his father stands up and leaves the table. Then Wheaton and Rye tell him they have some errands to do and that they’ll be back in an hour. He can’t possibly understand how much his father didn’t want to use the force… as a resource to make him go to school that’s why he had called everyone but it didn’t work and he didn’t have another choice. He wipes a tear as he is leaving. 

Finnick, Annie and Delly leave at the same time squeezing his shoulder and reassuring him. It’s like he can’t hear them because he is too shocked that his father is imposing in such a way. He’s never done that before…he wants to cry. Prim leaves at last and he is left alone in the table with Alli. 

“You set me up” he says angry and he knows that most of his anger is because they are forcing him to do this. She only sighs and he knows she is just going to stay quiet until he vents out. Sometimes he wonders what he did to deserve her company. “You made me stay here today because you knew they were all coming…was this your idea? Take me to school so everyone can find out what a useless piece of shit I am now?” she still does not say a thing and that only angers him more “I thought we had a deal! You were not going to force me to do anything! And what are you doing? It’s going to be impossible for me…like impossible! I can’t do this and when people realize…when my mom realizes…she is just going to laugh of me because she’s known all along I can’t don this! You promised! You are so full of…”

“Enough Peeta Mellark” she says with a serious tone…strong enough to make him stop his rant. “This was not my idea…it was your dads…he just asked for help and he thought that if I told you alone to get back to school you were going to do precisely what you are doing now…you are not useless ok? You are strong and brave and brilliant and you will do this because you can…just because you can…not because you have to prove something to someone ok? I’m only going back because of you…don’t think it is going to be a challenge just for you because it won’t but if we are together we can do this ok? Even Delly and Annie are going to help so stop feeling sorry for yourself…it makes me sick”

He swallows and hears her strained breathing next to him. Even if she didn’t yell at him he could hear the strain in her voice from forcing herself to keep composure. She never loses composure. 

“I’m sorry Peeta…but I do think it’s the best…I am not forcing you…your dad is…but it is for the best so just suck it up!” she stands up and leaves. Sometimes she doesn’t have to say much to make him see the things as they really are. He knows they all are right. It just makes him bitter knowing he can’t keep his blindness a secret for much more.

XOXO  
It is summer and Prim asks her to take her to the park. She obviously has a soft spot for Prim so even if taking her means seeing Peeta Mellark and the brunette she will do it. She asks Gale to go with her and he says it’s ok. Most of their other friends will be there too but she makes him swear they will stay away. He agrees. 

Prim smiles when she sees Peeta leaning against a tree with his eyes closed. He seems to be alone so Prim is pulling her his way but she plants her feet on the ground and says she’ll wait for her in the benches. Soon all of their friends and some girls she only knows by name star sitting with them. Annie, Finnick, the brunette, a little boy with big brown eyes and golden brown hair, Delly, Madge and Prim. They are all having a picnic and a blast. Gale is talking to her because she can hear his voice but she is really not paying attention. 

Her eyes are focused solely on Peeta Mellark who seems to be in a better mood than any of the other times she’s seen him before. He actually looks kind of happy…not fully happy because there’s always a hint of sadness on his face but as happy as he can look she guesses. She takes notice of his blue eyes that shine and look almost neon from where she’s looking…the way his blond hair falls into his eyes in a perfect way, hair as blond as a dandelion, how broad his shoulders are and how…beautiful he is. 

When she realizes what she’s been doing she gets scared. She doesn’t understand what’s wrong with her paying all this attention to Peeta Mellark. Suddenly the friends surrounding him start laughing and he does too and she can only smile as she sees how the smile takes over his face. His smile is contagious. Yep, there’s definitely something wrong with her.   
XOXO

So…since uncle Haymitch lives in a different part of town her old school is out of question. Leaving everyone she knows is going to be hard…Ha! Nice joke…she didn’t even have friends there but the thing about having a reputation and being respected meant something to her. In this new school she wasn’t going to need that…she would just be invisible and that wouldn’t be that bad. 

First day of school sucks! Prim’s is next to hers so they go together but when she’s left alone the real challenge starts. There’s no Gale to make her feel comfortable. She likes to be invisible but still feels uncomfortable. At lunch she just goes to eat at some stairs where no one passes so she can avoid people. Yep, that’s just the way she is. 

She’s liked all her classes so far the thing is she’s a bunch of nerves as she is sitting in her human behavior class (psychology would be more accurate according to her but oh well)…she was coming this way when she almost ran over Peeta who was standing next to the brunette. The feeling leaving her shaking a bit and she doesn’t even know why. 

She hates the fact that she’s been paying way too much attention to the boy and even more that she’s been bumping into him everywhere. And when she says everywhere she means even in the woods. The woods are her place and there he was next to the brunette… Finnick was right they are always together and they were in her woods together…always together. Agh! She hates them both for intruding in her life! 

It only gets worse when they enter the classroom. The girl is holding his arm and they walk towards the desks. Crap! Now she’s going to have to say hello…or…well she can always pretend she doesn’t know them. That one sounds good. 

They are discussing something that she can’t quite hear because they are talking in a low voice. She takes him to the desk where she is sitting and smiles. 

“Hi Katniss” she says and Katniss answers with a “hi” too. The girl proceeds to tell him to sit and as he does she tells him “Grow a pair Peeta”. She waves them goodbye and Katniss answers with the same wave. 

There were still ten minutes for the class to start but they didn’t even try to talk to each other. She wondered why he wouldn’t change places. The silence was uncomfortable…she felt like she needed to say something, and sometimes she would look at him with his eyes fixed on the front of the class open his mouth as if to say something several times but he never actually did. 

By the time Mr. Cinna showed up in class and started giving the program of the course she had tried to say something at least five times and he had done the same at least another five. That was just fucked up…what disturbed her was the way he would only look at the front…not acknowledging her in any way…but she noticed too that his eyes had a faraway look…like if he was not really seeing anything. She felt ashamed of herself for staring and when he passed the paper she looked down. 

“Well, this class won’t be like any of the other classes you’ve had so far… Here I want you to speak up! I want you to tell me what you think and I want you to share what you think! For these discussions you will have a partner which whom you’ll share ideas and all sorts of opinions. I want you to keep an open mind. And don’t worry! You don’t have to struggle to find said partner…the classmate in your table will be your partner” 

Katniss turned immediately to look at Peeta who looked terrified and pale. Was it that bad that she was going to be her partner? God! What they were going to do if he couldn’t even try not to ignore her…if they couldn’t even speak like normal human beings? They were going to fail. 

“For next Monday I want you to turn a paper with these twenty questions answered…this homework it’s a kids game so I will be expecting the questions answered as truthfully as you can...” Professor Cinna smiled as he watched the two kids sitting as apart from each other as they could in the last table at the back. As others were chatting enthusiastically they were looking uncomfortable and the boy looked pale as a ghost. These two were going to make his class interesting. 

When the class got dismissed it was only them in the class. 

“Ummm…Can you…well…If you want to…” he started to stutter. “We could meet at the center and answer the questions there… so we can have this over…” Katniss sighed. There was no other choice. He couldn’t ignore her anymore and neither could she. 

“It’s okay…I’ll stick around with Prim for a while so we can work on the twenty questions” stupid homework. Stupid class! 

“So…yeah…okay” he said and he stood up. He took out a white stick that turned into a long cane. She had seen those kinds of things before…that was the kind of cane a blind person used…so he was…Oh my God! She was such an idiot. Without another word said she watched him move in the center hall of the classroom…her jaw was hitting the floor and she couldn’t keep herself from looking at him as he left the classroom using the cane. He was blind…and all those times…every time she had seen him and she had thought he was ignoring her… the faraway look….Oh God!

“Stop staring” he said in a monotonous tone. Just like the one he had used the day she had stopped him from getting hit by a car. “I can feel you staring…I am blind…not a freak” he said and she closed her mouth her surprise turning into anger at his words. She was not staring because he was a freak…she was staring because she couldn’t believe how stupid she had been not to notice before. 

“Right” she said in a harsh tone. She was angry at his tone and at his words but she wouldn’t say a thing… she really was only thinking about angry things and rude things to say and he didn’t need that. She was proving herself that she could control her temper. 

“Bye Everdeen” he said as he finally left the classroom. 

“Bye Mellark” she said as he finally exited the room. 

He was blind. She hadn’t notice until he used the God damn cane. She was such an idiot. Why hadn’t anyone told her anything!? Annie and Finnick were his friends. Prim surely knew...that’s why he wasn’t working at the bakery anymore… how could she not realize that every time he “ignored her” it was because he actually didn’t know she was there or couldn’t see where she was. 

She felt terrible.   
XOXO  
His first day of school had gone just the way he expected…up until the class. Alli had taken him to the classroom and sat him in the same desk Katniss was sitting. He couldn’t help but to think it had been a trap. She had recommended the class because she had taken it last year and Mr. Cinna was awesome. She probably knew how it was going to work too and that’s why she had sat him in the same table. He is going to kill her. 

As they listen to how it’s going to work he pales. There’s no way in which she won’t realize his defect now and that bothers him. They have a homework for Monday and yes, they will have to get together to do it because well…there’s no other way to get it done. Twenty questions…where were they…on fifth grade? 

Before leaving he has to have the balls to ask her when they are going to have the project done…he stutters more than talks but she understands and they agree to do it when she takes Prim to the center. He stands up to leave and as he does he can feel her stare on his back. It’s amazing how accurate other senses get when you lose your sight as if to compensate. He gets mad…he hates when people stares he is not a freak and as he tells her he regrets his bitter words. He just can’t control that new part of himself. They agree they’ll see each other and he goes out of the classroom. 

“So, how was it?” Alli asks showing up out of nowhere next to him. The next class they have it together…they made sure they shared as many classes as they could possibly do so he wouldn’t have much trouble studying and taking notes and stuff. 

“You set me up again didn’t you?” he asks in a serious tone and he actually knows she’s smiling. “You knew this class was about discussing and projects with table partners that’s why you sat me there…”

“There’s no point in lying” she said as she walked at his side taking his arm. “I think it’s the perfect opportunity Peeta don’t you?”

“Perfect opportunity for what?” he asks and dreads her answer because he can’t believe that she noticed. She couldn’t have noticed could she? No one knew…it was his secret…

“To talk to her dummy…you don’t need to say anything…I’m an observant person and I know…I just wanted to help you…maybe like this you’ll get to know each other and well…they say that when you set friends up and they end up getting married you go to heaven….maybe that will ensure my spot” she said with a smile. 

“You are wrong…I don’t” he started saying only to be interrupted. 

“Oh Please Mellark! I am not stupid! So don’t try to fool me and stop worrying…I won’t tell a soul” she said and squeezed his arm. “Just promise to make the best of it…this could be your chance…I know this is it!” she says and she sounds so convinced that he can’t stop thinking about what she said during the forty five minutes of the last period. 

Make the best of it…this could be your chance. 

And as they are heading to the center he just thinks that Alli must be stupid. No one on his right mind would go out with a blind. There´s no special reason to what happened to him and getting to know Katniss now under these circumstances does not give sense to all this shit. There’s no hope for him…no love…nothing left. And as they sit at the center he can only think that he still can’t understand God’s reasoning for allowing these kinds of things to happen to good people. He is mad and not even getting Katniss to talk to him will make it better. 

Under different circumstances he’d be ecstatic…but now he can only think that he is the person with the worst luck in the world and he can´t help but to spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about the what ifs… he sure as hell wishes this wasn’t his life. 

AN.   
Hope your liking it so far! She finally knows! Long time coming but it finally happened! I’d like to know if you like it so far…is it good? Is it bad? What would you like to see…what do you think it’s going to happen? I’d love to hear from you! Your reviews encourage me to keep going and of course if you review you get a preview! 

Oh! And…forget about the days I said earlier…I’ll post as soon as I have a chapter ready…I hope it’s going to be once a week…I’ll try to keep it that way! Again please let me hear from you! I sure need the encouragement. 

Thank you soo much for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

The first thing she did when seeing Gale and Finnick on their way home was yell at them. There might have one or two bad words involved. She couldn’t believe they had not told her that he was blind. Gale said he didn’t know…Finnick said he couldn’t believe she hunted being such a clueless person. All the signs of his blindness were there. And she knew he was right but didn’t make her feel any better. 

So…she is not a considered person. She doesn’t see herself that way. Prim thinks differently. 

Katniss gets home and by the time Prim shows up she is at the table doing her homework. 

“Hi Katniss! How was your day?” she asks with a happy smile on her face. 

“It was okay” she answers with a sigh. She thinks it’s better to ask Prim so she tells her how Mr. Cinna assigned partners for his class…how Peeta is her partner and how they have to have an assignment done for next Monday. She tells her little sister that she doesn’t know what to do. Maybe she should ask for a change of partner but Prim shakes her head and tells her she can do this. 

“Treat him like he’s not blind Katniss” says Prim with a warm smile. 

“But…”

“You speak to him like you speak to any other person…use look, see and all those words that people assume bother blind people…he actually likes to be treated as a normal person…don’t offer any help…if he needs it he’s going to ask for it” Prim smiles and takes her older sister hand. “Be patient with him…like you are with me…he’s not been entirely himself since the accident…he’s…moody and kind of bitter…he reminds me of you” she says with a little smile and Katniss would feel insulted by this if it were not for how well she knows the source of this attitude. 

Hiding pain with bitterness is sometimes the best weapon when you think everyone pities you. Maybe she understands Peeta Mellark better than she thought she could. 

“Got it Katniss?” Prim says as if it’s not the first time she’s saying it…so probably it’s not the first time and she got lost in her thoughts.

“Yes” she answers and sighs. 

She’s at the door looking for him. It’s in these kinds of situations that she wishes she wore a watch…she can’t know for sure if she is late or early. She sighs. She decides that maybe she came too early and is going to leave but when she turns around she bumps into someone’s tall frame. 

“Sorry!” they say at the same time. 

“Katniss?” he asks. And her eyes widen. 

“Um…yeah it’s me” she says and she sees him nod. 

“I’m sorry I was late! Stupid brothers wouldn’t hurry” he says as he motions with his hand for her to lead the way. “We can sit whenever you want” he says as he follows her. And as he says that she starts looking at the different tables…after an inspection of the place she finds a table on the far corner where she thinks they most likely will go unnoticed. She turns to look at him…she’s not sure if she has to take his arm…or he has to take her arm or…what to do? It’s like he can sense her distress because immediately after her last thought crosses her mind he speaks. 

“Walk over there…I will follow you…I can hear your steps…today’s not that crowded” when he says this he has the strangest expression on his face…sadness and repulsion. She can’t quite place the feelings or the thing that led him to feel that way so she just walks to the table. 

She reaches it and she is going to take the chair out for him when he stops her. For a moment she thinks he can see because he places his hand over hers and a second after he takes it away. 

“I can do it Katniss” he says and takes the chair out and sits. “You should sit too so we can start this and finish already” she nods and feels stupid because obviously he can’t see so she says yes and starts taking her papers out. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Alli standing with Prim…they are waving and telling her to go where they are. 

She’s never interacted with a blind person before so this is a hard situation for her. Helping people who looks weaker or in disadvantage has always been her weakest point…hence always helping Prim and protecting her….even if her little sister doesn’t seem to need any protection anymore. 

XOXO  
“What’s the homework anyway?” asks Alli as she sees Peeta and Katniss sitting in the far corner. 

“Twenty questions” answers Prim and Alli smiles. 

“Mr. Cinna…I told him Peeta was going to need some help with the projects and stuff…twenty questions is actually one of the first games that you play with blind people…it involves hearing and speaking but no seeing…he just rocks doesn’t he?” she asks with a glint in her eyes. “I told him he was going to need help socializing…guess he thought this was the best way to do so” she smiled and Prim smiled with her. 

“So what are we going to do with Rue today?” asks Prim looking up to Alli. 

“You my friend are going to play twenty questions” she smiles as she gives Prim the paper sheet and sees the blond girl go take a seat next to little Rue. Yep, twenty questions is the perfect way to start a friendship. She turns around and goes to sit with the new guy. 

XOXO  
They are almost finished. Surprisingly it has not been that awkward aside from the start when he could almost feel the distress exuding from her from now knowing what to do…if help him or let him be. Since they were going to be class partners he agreed to let her know when he’d be needing help or not. He liked that when she talked to him she acted so normal…treating him like he isn’t blind. Not many people achieve that. 

The questions are mainly about what’s his name, favorite color, favorite food, hobbies and stuff. They didn’t seem to be personal until they reached the last ones. The dynamic is simple she reads the questions and they answer aloud to each other. Each taking notes about the other’s answers. 

“Um…so what inspires you?” Katniss reads the question and they both stay quiet. 

Hi knows the answer to that question but he can’t say it aloud. Watching Katniss Everdeen after he gave her the food come back from the woods with a bag full of game…to watch her cheeks getting color and fill again…she is the most inspiring thing he had ever seen when he could. Surviving after losing her father and having her mother lost in her own mind. Feeding your sister and getting money to support your family. She was what inspired him…knowing that against all odds she had not given up and found the strength to survive. He used to be inspired by that…he is not inspired by much anymore. That is the real answer but he can’t voice that. She would most likely get mad and run away from there so he just answered the next inspiring thing. 

“Fennel and Alli kind of inspire me” he says and hears Katniss scribbles that down.   
“Can I ask why?” she says in a careful tone. 

“They have a hard life…specially Alli…but she’s brave…she doesn’t cower and it doesn’t matter how hard things get for her and Fennel…she always help others in need” he says and he is saying the truth he’s not sure where he’d be if it wasn’t for her and Fennel. “But don’t tell her I said that…It will go all the way up to her head!”

“Too late! I heard that!” Alli says and he groans in frustration dragging his hand from his forehead to his chin. Katniss actually laughs at this…maybe it was worth it. He smiles too…a little smile but a smile none the less. 

“So…what inspires you?” he asks. Immediately she can see herself in that alley all those years ago starving…she thought she was going to die…that little Prim would die but he didn’t let that happen. The boy with the bag of groceries…the boy from that house close to the bakery in the seam had fed her. The boy with the bread. The boy with the hope. The only things she remembers about him are the blue neon eyes, the red welt and his blond hair. She remembers seeing the dandelion right after she leaves the boy in the alley…she remembers they are edible and so she goes to the woods bow, bucket and Prim in hand and collect the dandelions and hunt. And she knows that from then on she will be able to feed her family…she will be able to collect edible plants and she will be able to hunt so she can eat and sell meat. That inspired her. That marked her. The little boy. But she can’t say it…she can’t explain or tell him the whole story because well…she can’t so she answers the only thing she can let on. 

“Dandelions…dandelions inspire me” he makes a face like he doesn’t understand because well he is not supposed to but he doesn’t ask a thing he just scribbles down the answer. He ponders whether he should ask or not…but maybe his face lets more on that he thought because somehow she knows. 

“There’s no special reason or meaning behind it” she says and he knows she is lying. 

“So…last question…What’s the worst thing that has ever happened to you?” she reads aloud and he knows he paled. 

“My father’s death” she answers while she watches him closely. His hand is shaking…he is pale and he is sweating. He scribbles down slowly because suddenly he feels stiff. 

“This” he says and stands up “Thank you for coming to have the homework done I appreciate it” he says….stands up and starts walking towards the exit. 

XOXO  
“So…last question…What’s the worst thing that has ever happened to you?” she reads aloud and she looks at him…he paled. “My father’s death” she says because she can see his hands are shaking, he is sweating and pale. He can’t possibly be the one to answer that one first. She watches him closely and it looks like he is faraway…he’s not there answering the twenty questions but re living some horrible thing. He wakes up from his dream state and scribbles stiffly on the paper. 

“This” he says and stands up “Thank you for coming to have the homework done I appreciate it” he says….stands up and leaves. 

XOXO  
So this new guy asked her to help him. She readily said yes and after playing twenty questions she stayed with him and they read for a while. She doesn’t understand why he asked for help if he’s that good but…who is she to question his motives? 

When they finish he says he’s got to leave. While she is picking up all the books Portia comes closer and starts helping her. 

“So Alli…what were you doing with that guy?”

“Umm…we played twenty questions like everyone today and then I helped him with his reading…he didn’t need the help if you ask me” she says and picks the tower of books up in her arms. 

“Of course he didn’t” says Portia with a smile on her face. “He already knows how to read Alli…he already knows how to do all of the things you can teach him…he learned when he was little”   
“How do you know?” asks Alli with a frown on her face. 

“Because he’s my cousin sweetie and I’ve known Fern my whole life” she starts laughing. 

“He tricked me! That…” but she stops when Portia gives her a look and starts to speak. 

“Vocabulary missy!” she scolds and that immediately shuts her up. 

“Sorry!” she says sheepishly but as she places the books on the bookshelves she swears she will get revenge. 

XOXO  
She leaves the center with Prim when she finishes. After Peeta left she picked up all the papers an decided to get their work together with a little touch here…and a little touch there so they could get some bonus points or whatever…she did it because she was bored. 

“How did it go?” asks Prim as they walk down the street. 

“Fine I guess. We answered all the questions…it went okay” she says but she can’t stop thinking of his demeanor when he speaks or writes or thinks… She can’t help but to think of the bitterness that hides the pain. “He didn’t used to be like that right?” she asks because she is really curious even if she doesn’t know where this curiosity is coming from.   
“No” her little sister sighs and sadness covers her face. “He used to be completely different Katniss. He used to smile everyday…he was optimistic and kind…when you were with him you could feel warmth…like you actually belonged…he was really open too…but when he had the accident…his mom…well he can’t escape her that easily and instead of making everything easier…she just bugs him…she tells him all the time that he is useless and those kind of stuff…she sends him to do things he can’t do because she knows that frustrates him and makes him bitter…it’s like she enjoys watching him crumble…”

“How…”

“The other day he came to the center with a swollen eye and a welt on his cheek…he used to bake…do you remember?” and after she nods Prim keeps telling her story. “Well, Alli told him he could still do it…so she talked to Wheaton and Rye and they agreed to help him…he didn’t want to but his brothers took him to the bakery and helped him…he was doing fine…but out of nowhere she showed up and got so mad because he actually looked like he was having fun…like he was normal…that she started to yell…and she hit him…with a rolling pin…right on his face” Prim wipes a tear from her face and Katniss squeezes her hand in reassurance. 

“How could she do something like that? How can a mother not want her son to be happy when he’s going through something like that?” she asks but Prim just shakes her head sadly. 

“Alli cured him…but she wouldn’t stop crying…she felt like it was her fault and Peeta well…he didn’t say it was…but didn’t say it was not either…” Prim sighs. “Katniss?”   
“Yeah?” 

“If I asked you…as a favor to me…would you do something?”

“Anything little duck!” she answers with a smile. If this will cheer her up after sharing that story she’ll do it. Prim smiles. 

“We’ve done everything we can to bring him back to normal…but he is always feeling like we pity him and that’s why we help him. Or his old friends…he’s been staying away from them because he feels like they are still his friends because they pity him too. So…would you try to be his friend?” Katniss starts to shake her head. This does not sound like a good idea. She can’t be friends with Peeta Mellark…they don’t know each other and she tells Prim that but apparently she won’t take no for an answer because she recurs to begging. “Please Katniss…you won’t talk to him out of pity I know you…you can be real and truthful and if he’s a bad person to you I know you will not allow it…Please Katniss…Pleaseeee just try” Prim begs and with the puppy eyes that she knows will get anything out of Katniss she kneels on the ground. 

She’s just asking her to try and it doesn’t sound like a bad thing but for some reason she rather keep distance. This could end up good or really bad. She doesn’t think she needs any more friends but Prim won’t stop begging. 

“Katniss…for me…please? Give it a try…you have to work with him for the class anyway…so why not give it a try…you may be amazed by him” she says and she knows that she will give in first, because she can’t say no to Prim and second, because she actually feels like she needs to know more about Peeta Mellark and well…what can she lose just by trying right?   
XOXO  
School is not her favorite place to be. The day is almost over. She’s just got some classes left and then she can go home. She is tempted to avoid Psychology today but she knows that she promised Prim and that she’s got to try to at least talk to Peeta Mellark. 

So by the time that is her only class left she goes to her locker to take something out when she spots Peeta and Alli on a locker not very far from where she’s standing. They are arguing about something and even if the girl is not yelling her face is all red and she knows she wants to. Alli rolls her eyes and storms down the hall in the opposite way from where Katniss is standing. Peeta just closes the door of the locker where they were standing with more force that necessary and sighs. 

He’s got his books on his arms and he starts walking to the class and that’s when she hears the voices…Marvel, Cato and Glimmer…all walking down the hall and they are going to bump into Peeta and she can only hope that they will be kind enough to ignore him. He isn’t that lucky. 

Cato smiles evilly as he sees him standing there…because Peeta against his survival skills didn’t run away but stood there frozen. 

Marvel laughs as they stand in front of Peeta and starts to move his hand in front of his eyes…they laugh even more when they see he makes no move. Katniss is furious. Alli left him alone and they are bulling him…and what’s even worse he’s not even trying to defend himself. 

Marvel kicks Peeta’s cane with his foot. Peeta does nothing just moves it to the opposite side from where Marvel kicked it. 

Glimmer is standing on the side and doesn’t make a move. She won’t defend him but she’s not going to act like the boys it seems. 

Cato pats Peeta’s shoulder as if he pities him and sighs giving him a look that if Peeta saw Katniss is sure he would be kicking his ass right now. They decide to let him be it seems because it looks like they are going away and that’s when Cato drops the notebooks on Peeta’s hands and kicks them. Marvel pushes Peeta against the locker and that’s when Katniss can’t bare the situation anymore. 

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” 

“Oh mind your own business Everdeen” 

“It’s my business get the hell out of here and leave us alone” 

“Look at you! Defending the blind out of pity…I know you are new at school Everdeen but this is not exactly the best thing you can do to get in our good graces” he said with a mocking tone. Katniss standing next to Peeta feels rage burning her as Cato gets next to her and holds the tip of her braid between two fingers. “You don’t need to be with Mellark we get that you pity him Everdeen…why not joining us?”

“If I joined you….that would be out of pity” she smiled evilly…took her hair out of Cato’s hand with a brusque movement of her head and smiled again. “Peeta here does not need pity he’s fine just the way he is…but you…I’m afraid that there’s so much that needs to be done…but no one gives a damn…so I pity you poor ignored bastards!” she said picking up the books and taking Peeta’s arm she walked away on her way to class.

“You didn’t need to do that” he said in a quiet voice as they were walking to the classroom. 

“I did it because I wanted to” she said simply letting go of his arm. 

“Did you mean it?”

“What?”

“You don’t pity me?”

“Should I?” she asks and she can’t help to wince a little because even now when she is trying to be kind of friendly she can’t keep her harsh tone when answering. 

“Yes” he says. 

“I don’t really think so… If you didn’t get to class I would have to do all the work by myself….I can’t allow that” she says as they keep walking. She wasn’t sure but she thought she could see a small smile out of the corner of her eye. 

It seemed like protecting people was her thing. After that day with Cato and his gang Katniss would always keep an eye on Peeta Mellark. He and Alli were not on speaking terms it seemed and that had the boy in a sullen mood. Relationships were complicated and when she told him that he just snorted and told her that they were not in a relationship. No one could be. Not with him. 

Over the weeks that they are forced by the projects to talk and discuss kind of private things she had gotten to know him better they are far from being friends but they talk and share things and every day it seemed like they were getting better at sharing and understanding and accepting. 

Mr. Cinna would always praise their assignments. They were never that cool and while Peeta thought he did it out of pity she could see always a shine on their teacher’s eyes whenever he talked to them both. That Prim was happy about them speaking was an understatement. It had taken her some time…truth be told she wasn’t used to making friends and he was not used to talk to someone who treated him so…normal. 

XOXO  
Aside from the people in the center everyone else seemed to think that he was tied of hands and feet and pretty much needed their help all the time. And it had gotten worse after the fight with Alli. They were still not speaking friendly and that bothered him but he wouldn’t say a thing. If she was mad so was he. 

Katniss was refreshing…he had never talked to her before but now that he did he liked her even more. It was a sad thing that he would never be able to do something about it. 

They would talk because of the assignments and even if they seemed to be forced into it the conversations were pleasant. Even more so was the fact that Katniss didn’t treat him the way the other people did. Aside from Prim and Alli, Katniss was the other person he was comfortable with. 

She got to class and sat next to him. 

“Hey” he said. And she answered with a grunt. “Rough day?” he asked and she just sighed in confirmation. They stayed in comfortable silence until she spoke again. 

“Why are you having lunch here?” She asks and he shrugs. 

“I don’t like the way people stares when I’m eating…like I’m going to drink poison because I can’t see…I hate it”  
“The pity thing again?” she asks in a bored voice and he knows perfectly well that she says it that way because she thinks he’s stupid to think that every single person pities him. “You certainly are not the center of the universe Mellark…”

“I know it sounds weird but I can feel it”

“I believe you…you said that before to me and I was staring so I believe you” she says with the same tone. “So lunch in here every Monday and Thursday for you!” she announces and he can hear the way her head drops to the desk again. 

“How much is left?” he asks and she grumbles twenty minutes. “Want to play something?” he asks. 

“Sure! Why not?” she says and he knows she said yes more for her curiosity than actually wanting to play with him. 

“Twenty one” he says and smiles. 

“What?” she asks because she actually didn’t get it. 

“Twenty one. We played twenty questions for the school work…we don’t have to…but there’s not much I can play so if you don’t want to…” 

“Fine! Twenty one…ask away!” she says. 

“Twenty one…what’s your favorite color?” he asks. And he can swear he can hear the smile in her voice. 

“Wow Mellark! That’s a tough one!” she says actually laughing a bit. It is amazing how working with her for so many projects can change her so much. “Green…green like the woods” 

“Makes sense…you used to be in the woods all the time” he says and he can hear the longing in his voice. “I like orange”

“Orange?! That’s an awful color to like…orange like oranges?”

“No, orange like the sunset…I used to love to watch the sunset” he says and sadness sips into his voice. 

When class starts they are on question number thirty…he’s liking the game and he suspects Katniss is too. They have to hear Mr. Cinna talking about memories and human mind and behavior and how they affect us only to finish telling them they have to tell each other their earliest memory of the other. Katniss groans. 

“You in the bakery with Prim” she says simply. “Thank you for that by the way! It made her very happy” 

“You are welcome” he says but he can’t help to frown a little. He can’t believe that her earliest memory of him is that one…that’s a memory from a year ago or so…and they went to school together when they both lived in the seam area for Christ sake. 

“Yours?” she asks nudging him with her elbow. Every time he gets lost on his memories she brings him out like this. 

“We used to go to the same school you know? I used to live in the Seam too…We were in School…it was the first day and we had an assembly. They asked you to sing and you did. You had a little red plaid dress and your hair was in two braids instead of one. You sang beautifully” he says and he can hear her gasp. 

“We were in the same school? Seriously?” he nods. She does not stop saying she’s sorry the rest of the class. She is ashamed but he can’t blame her…he feels sad but it’s not her fault…not really. He knows before now he was invisible to her. Now that he couldn’t see. He sighs and his face crumples. If only he were not blind. He tells her that and she gets mad at him for deprecating himself in such a way. She doesn’t stop looking at him until they leave class.   
XOXO  
When she got home she told Prim about Mr. Cinna’s class. How they had to talk about their earliest memory of each other and how Peeta remembered her from the first day of school ever. They had been on the same School and ashamed she told Prim that she had never seen him before now. 

“I am sure you did look at him but you were not paying attention Katniss…you have a way of getting lost in your own world that doesn’t allow you to notice what’s in front of you. ”

“I felt really bad Prim…that made him feel bad too…he didn’t say anything but I saw his face…Gosh!” 

“Mnnn…why don’t you do something to compensate him? I bet that would make him feel better!” Prim says brightly. 

“I don’t have money to buy him anything Prim…I don’t really know what to do…” she hated herself for caring. In another time she wouldn’t have given a damn wheter he felt ok or not about something. But seeing him so sad today because she didn’t remember and because he had met her when he was blind had made her feel bad. Peeta Mellark had something about him that made her care. Something that made her want to protect him and she didn’t understand. 

“Why don’t you give him one of your special quotes? I am sure you have one about meeting people on the right time or something…you have tons in that old notebook of yours” 

Prim was right. She probably had one quote about that that could make him feel better. Her quotes notebook was very important to her not many people knew about its existence but… Peeta deserved one. She smiled. 

Thursday at lunch she didn’t even bother to go to the cafeteria. She went straight to the classroom where she knew he would be and sat next to him. 

“Katniss?” he asked. 

“Yeah, it’s me! Thought you could use some company today” she said as she took out an apple and started chewing. 

“Umm…thanks…I guess…” he said and kept eating his pudding cup.

“I got something for you” she said. Truth be told she was nervous. Maybe he was going to think she was stupid for giving him something like that. She took out the page where the quotation was written in Braille…she wasn’t sure if written was the right word but oh well. 

“What is it?” he said turned to where she was. She took his arm placing his hand on the paper. 

He moved his fingers expertly over the paper where the quote was and smiled. She didn’t know why but in that moment…when he smiled….a true smile for the first time since they had started talking…everything seemed to brighten in the room. His face brightened and a dimple formed on his left cheek a couple of centimeters away from his mouth. Even his eyes seemed to shine brighter and everything about him and his smile filled her with warmth. 

“Thank you so much Katniss!” he said and then proceeded to read aloud “We meet the people we’re supposed to when the time is just right…Alison Noel” She couldn’t stop looking at him as the smile plastered over his face would not disappear. 

“Katniss?” 

“Yeah?” she answered as she realized that it was not the first time he called her. 

“Thank you…really” he said. And she knew he understood. He understood that it didn’t matter that she had not met him when he could see…when he was normal… this was the right time…this was the way they were supposed to be and for some reason she wouldn’t change it for anything. She smiled. 

AN! Loooong chapter…that explains why it took me forever I hope! Thank you for reviewing…following or favorite this story! It means a lot to me! Hope to hear from you! Let me know what you think of this!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

Being a friend wasn’t something Katniss was used to. Not really. She wondered often if what Peeta and she had was more than just a class partner relationship or if it was indeed a friendship. She didn’t know and frankly she didn’t care. 

Mondays and Thursdays are their lunch days now. Sometimes they would meet to have lunch on the stairs close to psych even If they don’t have psych. Those days usually are the days he’s not having lunch with Delly and Madge. She won’t admit it but she actually enjoys their conversations usually guided by their questioning game. They must be on question one hundred right now she doesn’t really know…keeping up with the number is Peeta’s thing. During these time shared she’s been able to catch some flashes of old Peeta…no one tells her that’s the way he used to be…she just knows so because she can see something in those moments that new Peeta doesn’t have. Hope. Will. Warmth. 

She has shared more quotes with him. She usually does when she sees he’s feeling down that lately has been more often than not. She can tell by now when he’s feeling happy, when he’s okay…when he’s down. It’s kind of an obvious thing now…Peeta is really like an open book. And most times he will voice what’s got him in what mood and she works with that to bring him a quote to cheer him up. She does it because almost every time she gives him one he smiles. The same smile he gave her the day she gave him the first quote and…she’s addicted to that smile and what it makes her feel. Maybe those little quotes bring that smile on because no one else does that kind of thing for him…she does not understand how something so little can make him that happy. Frankly she doesn’t care as long as it brings the smile to his face. 

But today… when she arrives at the classroom she knows a simple quote won’t cover it. He’s got a massive bruise on his left cheek and she can swear she can feel the sadness and the disgust he feels for himself…he has that “look” he gets whenever something that makes him pity himself happens. And she is angry. 

“What the hell happened to you?” she asks dropping her bag with more force than necessary on the desk. He jumps a little and she knows he wasn’t really there when she said it the first time. Just like she gets into her own head…he does too. Now she understands why her friends get kind of annoyed by this. 

“Hi Katniss” he says and he turns to where she is. She gets a proper look at him. He looks awful. 

“I asked you…what the hell happened to you?” she says again this time with more force on her voice. She gets angrier by the minute…he’d been sad lately but today…he looks not only sad…he looks like he hasn’t slept in days…the bruise looks awful…it even has a cut that doesn’t look that clean…and she wishes she could kick the person who did this. 

“Umm…I fell” he says and he shrugs like it’s nothing. When she starts talking again pressing him to say something he just adds. “I don’t want to talk about it please” he says and she sighs. 

“Fine” she says with more force than necessary. Today he doesn’t even want to play their usual game and she knows this must be bad. But she is angry…angrier than she thought possible. 

When the class finishes neither of them move. 

“Is everything okay with you Kids?” approaches Mr. Cinna. He eyes Peeta and a frown crosses his face. 

“Yeah” he answers for both of them but his voice is off. Something’s got to be really bad. Mr. Cinna is not buying it and Katniss knows so he asks her to leave the class so he can have a little chat with Peeta. 

Katniss doesn’t leave. She can’t and when Alli shows up to take him home she tells him she’ll do it. 

“You guys are okay again?” she asks because she suspects part of Peeta’s foul mood is because of their fight. Alli shakes her head with a sad smile. Thanks her for taking him home. “Whatever it is…you guys should fix it…both of you look miserable…give it a try!” she says and Alli nods once before leaving. As she watches her leave she can’t help but to think about the awkwardness those too must go through when she walks him home in silence since they are not on speaking terms. They should really fix their problem. 

Peeta comes out an hour later with red eyes but a small smile on his face. She stands up and approaches them just as Mr. Cinna says “Don’t let her get to you…don’t let her make you feel like this!” he pats his shoulder and smiles to her before getting back to the classroom. 

“Alli?” he asks as he hears her steps. She clears her throat. 

“It’s me actually” she says. 

“Oh! Katniss…I guess Alli didn’t come?” 

“She did. I told her I would walk you home”

“You don’t have to do that” he says as he takes out his cane and unfolds it. “I can walk home by myself” 

“Actually…I wanted you to walk me home…I don’t like the cut on your face…I was wondering if you’d allow Prim to look at it” 

“It’s not necessary Katniss it will heal on its own”

“It looks infected” she says “And don’t make me tell Prim because if she asks you, you won’t be able to say no” 

“Fine” he says with a sigh and they walk to her house. Uncle Haymitch’s house. 

They walk in relative silence. She can’t stop thinking that he looks better now that he talked to Mr. Cinna…but he still has that face that somehow is managing to bring the corners of her mouth down. 

“Number one hundred” she says and Peeta snorts. She’s learned that since he never laughs now a snort is usually what he produces when he mocks her or finds something funny but can’t will himself to laugh. 

“Actually…we are on number eighty nine right now” he says. 

“Fine…whatever…what do you do when you are feeling down?” 

“I…nothing…I don’t do anything anymore…” 

“But you used to?” 

He smiles sadly. “Yeah…I used to like to go to the woods…or to the park…somewhere where I could be by myself and I would watch the sunset…it just…helped me think…to realize that things were not that bad and that tomorrow was another day” he said. “I can’t do that anymore…so I don’t do anything…not really”

“I see…” Katniss answers but her mind is already thinking about something. 

“What do you do?”

“I write or sing…” she says “I’m not really that good at expressing myself you know? I can’t voice what I’m feeling that well…so I write it down…or vent out singing…but ever since my dad died…I don’t go for singing anymore…I’d rather write”

“You like writing?” he asks his voice is full of curiosity. 

“Yeah…actually…I have the crazy idea of being a writer” she says and she blushes. It’s a good thing he can’t see. “But I have never showed anyone any of my stories or any of the things I’ve written” she says and they finally reach the fence of her uncle’s house. 

As soon as she opens the door Prim jumps to Peeta assessing the damage. She hugs him and cleans some tears that have escaped. As Prim hugs him she can see Peeta wince a little and she frowns. Prim seems to notice too because she starts lifting his shirt Peeta hurriedly grabs his shirt and pulls it down. 

“Peeta...let me!” says Prim and pulls it against his will. Prim and Katniss gasp when they see the bruises adorning his ribs. 

“That bad?” he says with a smirk on his face. This Peeta isn’t one Katniss has seen before…but Prim apparently has. The tone in which he said it unnerves her. He knew he was bruised because he could feel the pain and still he had said nothing. 

“It was her…wasn’t it?” Katniss looks from Peeta to Prim and sees him just nod. “She can’t keep doing this to you…you need to do something Peeta…what did Rye and Wheaton say?” Prim asks desperate. 

“They couldn’t say much…she hit them too…not as hard but she hit them none the less…besides I guess most of the damage came from me falling down the stairs”

Prim doesn’t say another thing but proceeds to touch his ribs to check if they are broken. They are not. And then she starts cleaning the cheek wound and places a little bandage over it. She tells him that she’s going to check it tomorrow at the center and he agrees. When Prim leaves the room Katniss sits next to him. 

“I’m sorry…for not telling you….it just…this isn’t something I’m proud of…” he says and his face gives in a lot more than he is intending to because once again she can feel the corners of her mouth going down. “I think it’s time for me to go” he says standing up. 

“I said I’d take you” she says and together they start walking towards to his house. That’s where he asked her to take him. 

“Alli seemed pretty upset…aren’t you guys going to fix things up?” When Peeta stays silent she knows she will have to use the next question on their game because those ones you have to answer whether you want it or not…that was the deal…so she says “ninety or something?” he smiles…she doesn’t know why but except from the smiles she manages to steal from him every time she gives him a quote his smiles are always something sad…cold. 

“It was a huge fight… I think we are both still not talking to each other for the sake of our image” he says. “She’s got some problems at her house…similar to mine…I…told her she needed to do something about it…but the consequences of doing something could take Fern away from her…so she doesn’t want to…”

“And that’s why you fought?” 

“I told her that if she didn’t do something I would…that I wouldn’t wait for something terrible to happen…she told me that I needed to mind my own business…I got mad…I said some things I shouldn’t…”

“I’m sure she did too” says Katniss placing her hand over his shoulder. She is not sure but this makes Prim feel comforted…it might help with him too. She takes her hand away for a few seconds because she doesn’t like the tingling that starts creeping up her arm.   
“Yeah…but…I kind of yelled…told her she was stupid…and other stuff…”

“I am sure everything will be alright…you guys are friends after all…you are going to fix things and it’s going to be like if nothing happened…you need her…she needs you…that’s what friends are for…to be there when you need them”

“Yeah…thank you for that” he says with one of the small smiles this one is even a little shy. For some reason she is shocked. She has never labeled their relationship. And for some reason hearing him say that they are friends shocks her but pleases her at the same time. Her friendship with Gale and Finnick came out of necessity. Her friendship with Annie and Johanna came out of Gale and Finnick’s friendship. So having a friend just because you got to know the other person and you like each other’s company is something kind of new for her. 

“You consider me your friend?” she asks amazed and looks at him. One thing she likes about Peeta is that even if he can feel her staring he never says anything so she can just do it. She looks at him without taking her eyes away from him. 

“Of course” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you?” 

“Is that ninety one?” she asks. Because even if the answer it’s completely obvious for her she doesn’t want to voice it…like if she says they are friends she’s going to jinx the friendship. 

“No, of course not” he says and the sad tone takes over his voice. So he took her words the wrong way…completely the wrong way. It wasn’t that she was going to say no… “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to” he says as they resume their walking. Katniss stops him by calling his name. She can’t allow him to have that face…that sad face that has been tugging the corners of her mouth down the whole day…but that is right now on his face not because of any of the other problems he has but because of her. Because he thinks she doesn’t want to be his friend. 

“Just to clear things up. I do consider you my friend” 

“Thank you” he answered with a smile. A shadow of the beautiful smiles she is kind of addicted to now. 

They walk in comfortable silence until they reach his house. There on the porch was Alli sitting next to Peeta’s father. He was patting the girl’s shoulders as she wiped tears from her face. Her eyes were red rimmed and she had a bruise on her right eye. When they saw them on the sidewalk they both stood up. 

“We’re here” she said and opened the door of the fence to let him in. he was in the middle of the path when Alli stood up and ran into him and hugged him. She kept repeating over and over again that she was sorry, that she had been an idiot and other stuff and Peeta after his initial surprise had hugged her too and said he was sorry to that it did not matter. 

There was some kind of fire inside her at that point. Yeah, she was grateful they were solving their issues but…she didn’t like the way Alli was hugging him and much less the way he was hugging her back. Katniss never made much contact with Peeta…the first time had been the day she had defended him from Cato and that had felt completely normal but after they became more than class partners just touching his arm or any other kind of contact would make her get goosebumps…like electricity. 

She couldn’t take her eyes off the scene, something ugly growing inside her. Right in that moment Peeta’s dad called her name and she turned to look at him. 

“Thank you for bringing him home” he said with the kindest smile she had ever seen. She thought that probably Peeta had inherited his from his father just like the blond hair and kind blue neon eyes. “And thank you for that” he said pointing to the two in the middle of the path. “He’s been a mess since they had that fight…” the ugly feeling showed its head again. She couldn’t quite pinpoint what that was. “Then he had this…accident…he fell down the stairs and all…and those kinds of situations always get him into a fouler mood…the only high light for him was sharing class with you…but things are going to get better now” he said patting her shoulder the same way he had been doing to Alli when they arrived. “Thank you so much…really” he said again and against what she was feeling that had her scowling up to that point she managed to change her face and give Peeta’s dad a smile. She had not done anything really but when she looked at the two again that were now talking she saw Alli mouth thank you and give her a nod. Katniss nodded back and saying goodbye to Peeta’s dad she went home. 

XOXO  
When Katniss arrived home from taking Peeta to his home she came back in a really bad mood. When she asked her what had happened she only said nothing and whit her usual scowl got into her bedroom. 

Uncle Haymitch arrived a little later than usual. He had a huge smile on his face and even looked giddy. He had been dating Maysilee Doner for a while now and she was proud to say that she had everything to do with it. 

When they had arrived uncle Haymitch was a drunk. He took care of them all right…he kept food in the fridge and anything they wanted in the house. He was a better guardian than her mother had been. But still…he would drink nonstop during the day and spend most of his time drunk. When they had arrived Prim had taken under her guard uncle Haymitch swearing to herself that she was going to make him stop drinking. Little by little she made it. And while she made him stop drinking that much, she kept her eyes on one of the doctors at the center.

Maysilee Doner was a solitary woman. She had never gotten married, was rich, of a good family and the kindest person she had ever met only rival to Peeta and his dad. She had talked to her about Haymitch and practically sold him to her. She had liked him. If Prim was honest Haymitch wasn’t a bad man. He was a writer…which made him kind of wealthy he had only gone bitter because of his first wife’s death. But that could be fixed and she thought Maysilee Doner was the person to do it. And so at her first chance she had introduced them and it was love at first sight. 

Prim sighed. If only her sister wasn’t that stubborn… she could swear that she would fall for Peeta…chances are she will… the hard thing is going to be…make her realize about it. She’s not getting in the middle of that…she knows that time will do all the work…hopefully it won’t be long now. She just hopes her sister’s emotional unavailability does not mess things up.   
XOXO  
It’s Friday. And this week has felt like the longest of her life. She’s been working on this plan of hers to cheer up Peeta. He’s better now that he’s talking to Alli again…but something is still off. It is clear now that they are friends and since it’s clear she thinks it is not out of order to cheer up a friend with something special she is going to do it. She even asked Prim for help and she was more than happy about it. She wasn’t sure at the beginning because taking him where she plans to take him it’s…personal. The woods are her thing and well…aside from Gale and her Dad…she hasn’t been there with anyone before. But she feels like she can share this with him like she has shared so many other things during the last month or so. 

She looks for him in the cafeteria but he’s not there. She finds him in their usual spot…right on the stairs close to psych and she smiles. The gash on his cheek is not longer the sick color it was and the bruise has changed of color. 

“Hey” he says before she even talks. 

“Hey…so…I was wondering if you had anything to do tomorrow afternoon…I mean if you have it’s okay…but if you are not well…I was just going to…ummm…well…”

“I’m not doing anything…my mom is out of town so maybe feel in peace for a couple of days” he says. Every time he talks about his mom he winces. 

“Oh…well…then…I was wondering if you would go with me somewhere…close to the seam really…so since it’s there if you don’t want to come it’s okay…” 

“Sure Katniss I’ll go with you”

“You won’t ask exactly where…I mean…I mentioned the seam…” he smiles. 

“Surprise me!” he says and smiles as she is sure he knows she is scowling right now. She doesn’t like surprises…he knows because the day he said he had a surprise for her she had scowled the whole class until he gave her the box of cheese buns. He found out those were her favorite thing in the bakery because he had brought some and well she was kind of obvious about it. The scowling had been worth when she had thanked him with a smile on her voice as he said it. 

XOXO  
Fixing things up with Alli did not require the painful moment of re talking about everything. They had just said sorry and hugged. She had cried a lot…and well…he had cried a little. It surprised him how much he relied on her. 

When they stopped crying he turned asking for Katniss but she was gone. Like if they had never fought in their lives Alli started bugging him with Katniss. She even bumped her elbow against his ribs jokingly only to see him wince and discover the bruises. His dad had gasped when he had seen but he said nothing.   
His dad was the kindest person in the world…he loved him very much…but up to this day he didn’t understand why he never defended them when it came to their mother. The woman was evil. 

They talked until she had to leave and asked him to thank Katniss for her. She said that Katniss had made her see reason and that’s why she had gone to his house. 

“You have a real friend there…don’t lose her” she said…but her tone implied more. Much more that wasn’t going to happen. Ever. 

The week went by and even if he was better now because he was on speaking terms with Alli and now he knew Katniss considered him her friend…he still felt kind of sad and empty inside. Talking to Katniss the other day about what he did when he was depressed had only made him think about that…and about another dozen of things he couldn’t do now because he was blind. His week had been full of ups and downs. He sighed. 

On Friday Katniss…after several minutes of words and words that were only trying to ask him if he could go with her somewhere on Saturday had promised to surprise him. She just told him to wear comfortable shoes and clothing and that was about it. 

So there he was…Friday night on his bed trying to think where she was taking him and what for, all the possible scenarios. It was in these moments that he allowed himself to be consumed not only by hope but sometimes by darkness so big that scares him. 

It was in these kinds of moments that he thought he could do something for himself and have a future but at the same time he allowed himself to think about the unthinkable…dying. 

He shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts…lately everything has been better….and with Katniss by his side he sometimes feels he can do anything. He sighs. He can’t keep thinking about the what ifs… Alli is constantly telling him that he shouldn’t…it is gone…he should be thinking about the future…about what he can actually do now. He knows she’s right. 

With that in mind and the thought that he’s going to spend all day tomorrow with Katniss he finally falls asleep. 

XOXO  
Saying she is nervous when she arrives at his home is an understatement. Her palms are sweaty as she opens the fence and knocks on the door. And suddenly it all disappears as Peeta is standing there with a small smile on his face. 

They take a bus…because there’s no point in walking all that distance from town to the seam if they are going to walk in the woods too. They arrive at the seam and start walking down the street. 

“Where are we?” he asks and when she answers simply in the seam he smiles like saying I know “I meant…exactly where in the Seam” he asks and she looks around. 

“In the corner of Coal and Smiths” she says and she doesn’t understand the rueful smile that appears. 

“In that corner used to be a shoe shop…it was Delly’s parents…and next to it…there was an alley…my mom used to make me dump the trash when it was darkest…just to make me scared you know?” he says and adds “Right there…is where we used to live…in the upper floor of the bakery” 

Katniss is listening intently but when he stops talking she turns to look at the place he’s describing. And she can’t believe it. She is never going to forget that alley…she can’t. It was the place where the blue eyed boy with the red welt on his check gave her the groceries. It’s the place where she saw the dandelion and regained hope. She can’t close her mouth…she is shocked. Does he remember? Does he know that she is the little girl he helped? Is he telling her this in the hopes of getting her to say something…she doesn’t think so because he just keeps walking and when he calls her name he is a few stores away. She catches up with him. 

She won’t ever look at him the same way anymore. Peeta means more than just a new friend now. He means hope…the hope she regained when she thought everything was lost…and now she wants to repay…she wants to give him hope…to regain the hope he’s lost. It’s only fair. She owes him. 

“So where are we exactly going?” he asks again and she can see he’s impatient. 

“You’ll see…be patient” that’s all she says. And thinking about what he did for her only makes her think that the little things that’s she’s done for him without knowing pay in no way the debt she’s got with him. 

They reach the woods but he doesn’t say a thing…he knows it’s late in the afternoon because they left at five thirty. The traveling and walking has taken them a while. 

They have reached the spot she was looking for and they stop. She tells him they have reached the place but that he has to wait for his surprise. She places a blanket over the grassy land and tells him that she brought it to lie down. They both do and as they are there the sunset begins. 

“I’m not very good with words…but I am sure as hell going to do my best…you said that when you were depressed you used to come to the woods or something and watched the sunset….I’ve got this place where you can see the most perfect sunset” 

He turns to where she is but a frown is on his face. Obviously he’s thinking she’s stupid…he can’t see…why she would have brought him here…but that’s when she starts. 

“There are some streaks of blue that are starting to disappear as the sun goes down…do you remember how you said you love orange? There are stripes of every kind of orange you can imagine all over the sky…orange orange…light orange and a darker shade…there’s even some pink in between…”she says. She knows is going to take a while but she wants to describe every change until the sky is totally dark. She wants to make him “see” the sunset. She turns to look at Peeta and his eyes are closed with a smile on his face. “I am assuming you would love all the colors…it’s like someone painted it Peeta…and every brushstroke of a paintbrush starting from the upper part is a different tone of orange that is showering everything with its color and light… even we look orange right now…and the warmth you can feel…doesn’t come only from the sun but from the color of the sky…like it caught fire and is slowly dying…” she says as the sun disappears over the horizon. When it finally starts getting dark she keeps going “Just like you said…as it gets darker and colder you stop feeling the sun’s warmth…the darkness engulfs us…and as the day is over…so are the problems of today”

She’s not sure if she described it the right way…if it actually helped him imagine the sunset…”see” it. She knows she sucks at expressing with words and all the time she spent waiting for the sun to set and describing the sunset probably was a waste of his time. She winces thinking what a poor job she did at describing the sunset when she finally looks at him. He’s got tears on his eyes. 

“Pee…Peeta! I am so sorry I shouldn’t have done that…I am so sorry!” she apologizes sitting up on the blanket and looking at him. She’s not sure when he started crying because it’s not until this time that she sees the tears on his eyes. He shakes his head with a small smile and wipes the few tears that have managed to escape. 

“Thank you Katniss….that’s the first and most beautiful sunset I’ve ever heard” he said and even if his face is tear streaked the small smile…not with the dimple…a different kind of smile leaves her breathless. He is beautiful…and here showered by the last light of the day she realizes. “No one had done that for me…I missed it…I…thank you so much Katniss” he says and sits up on the blanket. 

Next thing he is hugging her. So softly and delicately that it feels like he’s afraid to hurt her…like if she’s something precious his strong arms around her like if protecting her… and as he hugs her and wets her shirt a little from where he’s supporting his cheek on her shirt (something that would not be possible if they were standing since he’s taller than her) she can’t stop thinking about this feeling…the weird feeling that she’s been avoiding by not making contact with him. Some sort of electricity…but not painful…a warm one that engulfs her…and as she remembers when Prim told her about him being warm she can’t help but to think that she was right. Because right now…here with Peeta and his warmth…she feels like she belongs somewhere for the first time ever since her father died. 

AN. That was fast! Thank you so much for your reviews and favorites and all that! I really love to hear what you are thinking…I hope you like the story so far! Let me hear from you I’d love to know what your thoughts are…what you think is going to happen and all! So review! Your reviews make my day a little better!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

So as they are walking out of the woods he stumbles a little and she keeps him from falling by taking his arm…he takes her hand. He knows he’s taking advantage of the situation but he’s been thinking about doing it from the very moment they decided to go back to town. Taking her hand for the first time had him al nervous and sweaty and he just wished that somehow this could mean as much to her as it meant to him. When he finally holds her hand there’s a tingly sensation cursing through his veins…electrifying…and he wishes that somehow she would feel the exact same thing. 

They get into the bus and sit. And all the while they are both silent. He’s kind of ashamed for crying in front of her but he had felt just overwhelmed. When she started describing the sunset…somehow he had felt like he could still see…it had make him imagine the sunset…he could see it almost as if he was actually seeing it like she was. It had felt amazing…and sad at the same time…because one of the most beautiful things in the world…he couldn’t see. 

When they get to town she takes him home and when they say goodbye he wants so bad to give her a kiss on the cheek but…if he misses or even if he doesn’t she’s going to kick his ass. He is happy…for the first time since he had the accident he is actually feeling happiness. Something he never thought possible. And as he goes to bed and starts drifting to sleep he knows tonight his dreams are going to be of sunsets and Katniss Everdeen. 

XOXO  
Maybe it was that she had shared a personal place….maybe it was that she had helped him “see”. Maybe that she had seen him cry. She didn’t really know but after that day…if she had a doubt before…now she didn’t…they were friends. Things had changed. 

And now instead of just spending some time at lunch she found herself going to the center to spend time with him. She would help him with whatever Alli had in mind for the day. She could even tell that her dislike for the girl had nothing to do with the girl herself but with something else. She had even come to enjoy her company…and they even were partners in a project they had for a class they always had together but Katniss never knew. 

“Don’t turn around guys but I think that Mallow is staring…I think she’s in love with you Peeta” Alli says and starts laughing. Katniss is used to the weird feeling twisting her gut whenever something like this happens. First with Alli and her hugs and then with other girls at the center that seem to pay way too much attention to the boy. How could they not? 

If Peeta was bitter, negative and an ass before like Alli told her. He was certainly changing. In a matter of weeks she had seen a transformation. She didn’t like to think too much into it…but she was sure he had started changing little by little after the sunset incident. It had been two months since that. They haven’t done anything like it again. In fact even if they are spending more time together it hardly is by themselves like it used to. Now Madge or Delly or Alli or all of them join them on the stairs and sometimes even in the class. 

Peeta’s change is remarkable. She wonders if these are traces of the old Peeta coming back. He still doesn’t laugh…he can’t bring himself to do it but he smiles more. It’s not always her smile as she calls it now but it is a smile and kindness is etched into every single thing he does know. He’s always thinking of others…always trying to help. 

“She wants to say hello” comes Alli’s voice again. She wakes up from her dream state and looks at her. She doesn’t like the smile etched on her face. It is like she knows something but won’t tell. “I’ll bring her over….I know you will like her!” she says and giving Katniss another look she walks away. 

“Can we run away now she’s gone?” he asks smiling. If she’s learned something about Alli and Peeta’s relationship is that they call it business but it is not. She calls it a survival friendship. As much as she hates to admit it she knows they kind of need each other to work well. It has everything to do with Alli being the only human being in the center sticking up even when he would insult her and treat her badly…even when he wouldn’t talk to her for months. If she had something it was patience. She gets it. Alli understands. 

“Here she is” she says as she sits next to Peeta. In her arms is a small girl…not older than three. Light brown curly hair and the brightest and biggest green eyes she’s ever seen. She’s hiding her little face in Alli’s neck occasionally getting out of her hiding place to look at Peeta with the biggest blush on her face. “Say hi Peeta!” says Alli and the little girl giggles. 

“Hi Peeta!” she says in her small voice and she can feel her heart melt a little with this. 

“Introduce yourself baby! Come on!” says Alli as the girl sits straight in her lap for the first time. She’s not that big…she’s skinny and a cute little girl. “My name is Mallow Mr. Peeta” she says extending her hand. Alli takes Peeta’s hand and places the smaller one on his. He shakes it a little he is amused. 

“I really like your eyes and your hair Mr. Peeta…I want to be your friend!” she declares standing up. The whole time she has not let go of Peeta’s hand. “Would you be my friend? Miss Alli said it was okay…and then we could go to the park for a walk or to play on the swings” she says smiling sweetly and she knows that if Peeta was actually seeing this he would melt. Hell, she’s melting! 

“I would really like that Mallow…but I am afraid I can’t take you to the park by myself” he smiles sadly. 

“Of course you can Mr. Peeta…we all will go!” she says jumping from Alli’s legs and never letting go of his hand she starts pulling until he stands up. “Come on!” she says pulling him towards the exit of the center and they just follow smiling. Peeta doesn’t look comfortable but it has nothing to do with the little girl…it has everything to do with going out and not being able to take care of her. She has learned to read every single thing about him. 

They reach the park and of course he could take the girl out with no one else to supervise. She positions him behind the swing and she sits. She asks him to help her and he does. He’s really good at it because the girl loves him. They can already tell. This won’t be the last time it will happen. 

Mallow is in love with Peeta. All right…but as Alli said…who could blame the little girl. He was a charmer. He would smile to her all the time…help her with anything she asked and basically help her with anything. It looked like Katniss was not the only person who could bring him back. And she loves to see him interact with the little girl. When he’s with the little girl everything about his demeanor changes and she just feels warm inside looking at him that way. 

She’s seen more of old Peeta now than in the lasts months they had spent together. She doesn’t mind. As long as he is getting back to his old self it is okay.   
XOXO  
There are still good and bad days. He feels himself getting partly back to his old self. He can’t help but to think that old Peeta died that day in the car crash. He won’t get back to be his old self…but he can be a new him. He’s only glad that he’s left the bitter ass Peeta behind. He appears from time to time but he’s mostly gone. 

It’s going to be a year soon since the accident. A year in which tons of things have happened and changed for him. He talks to Katniss Everdeen now…they are friends…and maybe a little more…they even hold hands and trust each other so much. He sighs. Even if he doesn’t think he’s going to get a chance with her ever…there’s always wishful thinking. And he can’t help to think too that maybe things are getting different for her. He can only hope. 

But Katniss isn’t the only thing that the accident brought to his life. He’s mostly happy. And he owes that to too many people on his life right now. People that without the accident he wouldn’t have met. He’s never believed that things happen for a reason…he’s starting to believe it now. 

XOXO  
They are in class having lunch. It’s their last class before the break so they basically hid to have lunch by themselves. He’s in a terrible mood. Yesterday when they went to the park Mellow fell and scraped her knee. Of course…since he couldn’t see he was useless. The little girl was crying and when she saw that he couldn’t help her and he was anguished she stopped crying took his hand and together they got back to the center. The little girl after having been crying comforted him. He was so pathetic sometimes. He sighs sadly. 

While they are having lunch he can feel Katniss’ eyes on him. He always can…he never minds…but today…it only makes him feel more conscious about his situation. 

“Why are you staring?” he asks and he can hear the smile on her voice when she answers. 

“You have changed” she says simply. 

“What?” 

“How did you use to be?” she asks and he’s taken aback by her question. 

“Why do you want to know?” he asks somehow this makes him mad. Bad days usually bring bitter ass Peeta back. Today is one of those days. “It’s not like I will be that person anymore…I’m broken”

“I don’t think you are…and I like you the way you are right now” she says and Peeta hears the gasp. It didn’t come from him. “I meant….that I know you won’t get back to your old self Peeta…but I feel like every day you are getting closer to that person…And even if you don’t get back to be your old self we…your friends…like you just the way you are”

“Thanks…I guess” he says and he sighs “I was determined to keep people away from me…I was feeling all the time that they pitied me…because I can’t see…I can’t do much by myself…and basically I have no future…” Katniss is going to interrupt him. Of course he knows she will because she’s going to argue…she doesn’t take it well when he deprecates himself. “But…I have come to terms with all these Katniss…I won’t get back to my old self…I am broken…the person I used to be died in that car accident…but I can be someone else now…I can try to change things…I can try to do something…as long as I am alive I will try…” he says and she squeezes his arm. Alli was the only person who used to do this. But lately Katniss has come to do it too. Sometimes she would even take his hands. He knows how she’s feeling just from hearing her voice or from the arm squeezes or the hand holding. He never thought that he was going to be able to read a person that way. It’s not even the same way he reads Prim and Alli. This is different. He likes it. 

By the time the bell rings signaling the end of the class everyone has pretty much left. Mr. Cinna can be way too good sometimes for his own sake. He walks to where they are sitting and gives back a project…congratulates them, wishes them a nice break and leaves. 

“You are going to keep it right?” she asks “Remember we have to place them all in a folder…” he nods. When he takes out his folder from his backpack a series of paper sheets scatter all over the floor. 

“Sorry” he says and she kneels on the ground. 

XOXO  
She starts picking up the papers that fell from his folder as she knows he won’t be able to. What she sees mesmerizes her…those are the most amazing drawings and paintings she’s ever seen in her life. 

“Did you make these?” she asks while she holds the papers on her hands. He turns to where she is and asks her what she is talking about. “The drawings…the paintings…did you make them?” he nods and turns a little pale, a wistful smile on his face.   
“Before the accident…I used to draw and paint…can’t anymore” he says sadly as he opens the folder so she can place the drawings back. She hates that sad face he gets when he remembers the accident. 

“They are amazing Peeta…really amazing!” she says while holding them. “I’m sure you can still paint though” she says with a serious tone and still studying the drawings and paintings. She starts placing them back when she finds one of Prim with her…they are smiling. She remembers this scene…it was one of the times they joined outside the bakery so she keeps it. Doesn’t say a thing and stuffs it in her pocket. Gives him back the papers. 

“I don’t think I can Katniss…I can’t see…how would I paint?” he says sighing as he places the folder back on his backpack. 

“I don’t know…but Alli will!” she says. She takes Peeta’s hand and starts walking. 

“What are you doing?” he asks. His face is red. 

“We are going to the center…if there’s a way for you to paint she probably knows…if not we will find one…you are way too good to stop painting because you can’t see” she states seriously. 

“I can’t paint if I can’t see” he says seriously and slows his pace. There are some times when he hates his blindness more than anything in the world. This thing has taken everything away from him. 

They reach the center and Katniss is in such frenzy that she misses Prim waving at her. 

“He can paint!” she yells at Alli who’s sitting with a boy in a corner table. 

“Yeah…okay?” she says looking at her like she’s lost her mind but standing up and walking to where they are. 

“Make him paint again!” she says pulling Peeta. Alli looks at their joined hands and Katniss blushes but doesn’t let go. 

“Let’s go” she says standing up a going somewhere. She sits with Peeta on a table and they wait for Alli to come back. 

“She tried once” he says seriously “But I didn’t even give it a try…I can’t do it” She squeezes his hand. 

“But you can do it. She accepted no for an answer but I won’t” she says. 

“Okay Sooooo” says Alli dropping a series of things on the table canvases, paintbrushes, little flasks of things, paper and other stuff. What surprises her is that the tubes of paint and the other paints have little stickers on top with something in Brille. “I did this when I tried to make you paint the last time. I used stickers…the paint’s got little stickers that allow you to know what color you are taking. The paintbrushes you can feel the size…and the canvases too…if you need anything else you can tell me…I will get it!” 

“How am I supposed to paint with this stuff?”

“Dude…you used to paint…do it the same way…I just provided the tools! When you become famous…don’t forget about me!” she says and winking she walks away. 

He just sighs. Katniss knows the turmoil that is inside him right now. An artist uses all his senses to paint one of the most important is the sight…because you paint what you see. 

But he used to see and he can still paint…he knows how things are and he can imagine or use memory. She knows he can so she squeezes his hand again and takes one of the tubes of paint and puts it on his hand. She places his fingers over the sticker that Alli diligently placed on the tube. She puts a canvas in front of him and the paintbrushes next to it and she stands up. 

“You can do this! I believe in you” she says and she leaves space between them sitting in a table close to where she left him. Really close. She leaves him because she knows this is something that he needs to do by himself. Not to prove anyone anything. He needs to do this just for his sake…to get back a little of who he used to be. 

XOXO  
Alli did a great job with the paints…the stickers work perfectly and he feels kind of guilty because he knows all the work it must have cost her to do this. As he touches all the tubes and things he’s got around his hands start to itch. He touches the canvas…feels the smell…and the next thing he knows is that he’s got the orange tube of paint on his hand and a paintbrush in the other and he can smell the paint. He knows how he wants it to look like and so he keeps working. 

He’s not sure how long he’s been painting. He doesn’t know how it looks like… not even if it’s any good but he doesn’t really care. It’s like coming back home after a long long trip. He feels happy…he feels…full. 

“Umm everyone left…but Portia gave me the keys to close the center…umm…I didn’t want to stop you…you were so focused…But we have to go now it’s almost eleven” she says. 

“Yeah…right!” he says standing up. Amazed that so much time has gone by and he didn’t even realized.   
“You are amazing!” she says with a smile on her voice. She sniffs a little even. 

“Are you crying?” he asks worried “Is everything okay?” 

“Yes…it’s just that…what you painted is amazing…it’s beautiful Peeta…I am just so happy that you allowed yourself to paint again…to make yourself happy…I never saw you like this before”

“I’m sorry” he says simply “I am sorry for being such an ass with you…”

“You won’t stop being an ass will you? That would be like…unimaginable!” she says with an altered tone of voice and he laughs. Not a snort a laugh and she starts laughing too. 

“I won’t I promise” he says and after they place the things and the painting in the back room they use as an office they walk home together. 

He can’t stop thinking that…truth to her promise she never forced him to do anything. Katniss did and he was glad. Sometimes a little coercion is necessary to make you do things you are afraid of. He is going to thank Katniss. 

XOXO  
They have a week off. A break never felt worse before. It’s been three days and she’s bored. She’s been to the woods…she’s been fishing…she’s been doing anything and everything to get herself busy but the truth is that it doesn’t matter how busy she is her thoughts keep going back to the same thing or…the same person. He’s grown on her. That explains everything…and curiosity is killing her…she had stayed close for a while watching him paint. 

He was concentrated on his painting…something came over his face that she had never seen before…and before she knew it was time for the center to close. She had been too fixed on the way his hair fell on his eyes…the way his eyelashes were so long and so blond that normally she wouldn’t notice them…the way his eyes were shining even if he couldn’t see what he was doing. That she never noticed the girl standing next to her. Alli clearing her throat with an amused smile on her face made her get back to reality. 

“Enjoying the view?” Katniss couldn’t even mumble a decent apology. She just stood up and walked out of the center. 

So yeah…she was curious…not missing him. That couldn’t be. 

XOXO  
Finnick’s birthday is tomorrow he’s turning twenty three. Annie and Madge had been planning the party for a week. It’s going to take place at Annie’s house…in her big backyard and all of their friends are invited, the closest ones that is.   
XOXO  
The Party is small. She knows as she sees the long table in the center where there’s only Finnick, Annie, Madge, Gale, Delly and Johanna sitting in the table talking and laughing. This is her kind of party. 

“Cozy, isn’t it?” Alli asks standing next to her. “We just arrived but I have got to go to the bathroom can you take Peeta to where everyone else is?” 

“Sure” she says as she takes his arm and they start walking to the table. 

“Hey” a small smile on his face “I’ve missed you” he says as he blushes. Katniss blushes immediately at his words and squeezes his arm. That’s the biggest thing he’s going to get as if saying I missed you too. She can’t actually say it aloud. She’s been denying it all these time. Lines are blurring and she’s not sure if she’s okay with that. 

They reach the table and everyone greets them. 

They spend the whole evening playing cards, karaoke and other stuff…they even play truth or dare for a while. Peeta is sitting next to her and will occasionally take her hand. She doesn’t pull away but she does wonder what all this hand holding and communicating without actually speaking means. She can’t stop thinking about blurring lines. 

This is what a party looks like. People who you love and care about all together in one place having fun. 

By the time everyone is saying good bye they start talking about the winter dance. It’s going to be very soon and as Johanna, Annie, Gale and Finnick are not in school anymore they say they are feeling left out. 

“Are you guys going?” Gale asks the rest of them who could possibly be going. 

“Of course not” Alli says looking at Peeta as he snorts. “It would not be very comfortable…all the noise and well…” she says looking at him.

“Why don’t we do something like this?” Delly says excitedly. “We won’t have to wear dresses and heels and all those things…it would be like today but…a sort of winter dance”

“You are definitely my date” Gale says grabbing Johanna’s waist and giving her an affectionate kiss on the cheek. She just smiles dismissing him but she blushes. 

“Can I bring someone too?” asks Alli. And Peeta turns to where her voice came from. 

“Who are you bringing? Forget it…” he says almost immediately. 

“All in?” asks Gale and everyone says yes. 

XOXO  
“I never hated vacations more than this year” he says as he sits in the class. 

“I know” she says and keeps munching her apple. The “I miss you” is implicit for both of them. 

“What do you think about the sort of winter dance?” he asks taking a box from his back pack and placing it on the desk. She can smell the cheese buns and her mouth waters. 

“It’s okay…I wouldn’t have gone otherwise” she says as she takes the first bite of the cheese bun. 

“Alli is taking a guy from the center…Finnick and Annie…Gale and Johanna…Delly is taking Rye…and Madge is going with a guy named Thresh…can you believe it?” 

“Everyone’s got a date? Alli and a guy from the center…was that why you guys were arguing the other day?” 

“Ummm...sort of” he says. 

They both keep eating in silence for a little while. 

“Are you…umm…you…inviting someone?” he asks slowly and with a wince. 

“No” she answers simply. 

“Me neither” he says sadly. “I can’t think of someone who might actually want to go with me…skipping prom to go to a party with a blind guy who can’t even dance” 

“Don’t say that” she says looking at him angrily. “I would skip the dance to go to a party with a blind guy who can’t even dance” she says simply and he laughs a little at this. This laughing thing very new to Katniss…she sure as hell was expecting a snort. 

“Hypothetically speaking or for real?” he says. 

“It depends…are your asking?” she says and she is nervous because if he asks she will say yes. Not out of pity but because she actually doesn’t mind and finds herself excited about it. 

“Would you say yes?”

“If you want to know…you are going to have to ask” she says and she’s glad he can’t see because she’s blushing. 

“Umm...Katniss would you go to the sort of winter dance with me?” he asks and she knows he’s nervous because his hand goes to his neck and he’s “looking” down. 

“Yeah” she says simply and smiles “looking” up. She’s giddy. And she wonders if the lines are already blurred as she sees Peeta blushing and smiling happily. What has she gotten herself into? 

AN. Hope you like it! Again thank you guys so much for all the alerts, favorites and reviews! Thank you for reading and for giving my story a chance! I’d really like to hear from you guys! So I hope you let me know if you are liking it or hating it or what! Your reviews will be highly appreciated and may include a reward! Thanks again for sticking up!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

“I can’t dance…did I say that?” Katniss sighs. It’s the millionth time he’s come up with a reason for her not to go to the sort of dance with him. “And I can’t…”

“Do you not want to go to the dance with me?” she asks seriously and looking at him. “All you’ve done so far is tell me reasons why I shouldn’t go with you…so if you want to un invite me or whatever just do it” she says angrily. 

Peeta closes and opens his mouth several times, eyes widened. 

“So? You will un invite me?” 

“No…I just…I don’t want you to have an idea of how the night is supposed to be and then be disappointed by how it actually turns out to be” he says almost in a whisper. 

“I am not like most girls Peeta…I’ve never gone to one of these things so honestly I am not imagining anything…” 

“Ooh…okay…” he says and he sinks on his seat. 

“Hope that’s okay” she says uneasily. He just nods and so they keep eating. 

The so called dance it’s two weeks away and while they all promised it was going to be a sort of winter dance and not a dance dance they still are picking flowers and dresses and all those things. She’s nervous. She can’t afford to buy a dress and well…she just doesn’t want to wear a dress. But well…social conventions and those things she is resigning herself to the fact that she will have to wear one. She’s not feeling much like going anymore. 

It looks like she’s going to her first dance…and the only thing that she’s looking forward is to spend it with Peeta and her friends. There still are little things that can make her forget she’s not as old as she feels sometimes. 

XOXO  
He’s given her a list of things every day. He’s given her a list of reasons for her to tell him that she doesn’t want to go with him to the sort of dance. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go with her…it’s like a dream come true. It’s more like…these kinds of things are really important to girls…and he doesn’t want to disappoint her with a lame night. 

After she gets angry and asks him if he wants to un invite her he just shuts up. It makes him kind of sad to know that this is her first dance and that she’s going to have to spend it with him. A not very usual date…that probably won’t turn out as good as one with a normal guy would. But if she wants to go he will go with her. 

Finnick tells him that they all are buying corsages for the girls and asks him if he wants to join the fun. They are going to buy it a day before the party and put them in the freezer so they don’t mess up. He agrees to go with them. It looks like the sort of dance got bigger and fancier than they had agreed but it’s fine by him. Just the fact that he’s going with Katniss changes everything so much. And he can’t wait for the day to arrive. He promises himself that he’s going to make the best of it. 

The painting is going good. Well, better than okay…he’s actually taking Art in school now with Miss Effie…she spends about two hours with him every Friday or more just to work with him on different paintings and techniques and he actually likes Miss Effie…even if she’s got weird moods and perceptions she is a good teacher. And best of all she treats him like there’s nothing wrong with him. She has to thank Katniss and Alli for it. Miss Effie even thinks he can apply to scholarships…she says he’s that good. He doesn’t think so. 

“What color will you be wearing?” he asks as he eats some pudding. 

“What?” she asks like surprised. 

“What color are you wearing to the party?”

“Peeta you really don’t have to…” he sighs. 

“What color Katniss?” she sighs too. 

“I don’t know” she says. And because he knows she’s not lying he doesn’t keep asking. 

“I wanted to show you something” he says standing up. “Come on…no one will be there right now…I want to show you something” she holds his hand, he’s used to it now. He loves it. They go to the Art room because he knows there’s no one there. 

“Miss Effie said she would place it in the back. Is there something in the back? It’s supposed to be covered”. He says standing behind her but not letting go of her hand. She lets go first and he hears as her voice gets farther and farther away. 

“It’s here” she says her voice sounds almost impatient and he smiles. He knows that if Katniss is not something it is patient. “Can I?” she asks and he nods. 

“It’s for you” he says with a small smile. He knows she must be expecting to see his first painting and that’s precisely what she’s going to get. 

XOXO  
When she uncovers the painting she’s expecting a master piece. What she gets it’s even more amazing than that. She’s speechless and she places her fingers close to the painting. She can’t believe that he could paint that…that the sunset they saw days ago is there on that canvas somehow…as she remembers the way she described it…she can see it in the canvas…it’s what she told him what he painted and she can’t believe how accurate it is. It’s accurate in its own way because it’s not exactly the same but a version of it. It’s like when two people see something and they have two different perspectives of it. But somehow it is the same thing. 

“Well…say something…” he says. He’s got his hand on his neck…the nervous gesture. 

“I don’t know what to say…”

“Is it that bad? I think that when Miss Effie said it was good she was thinking it was supposed to be abstract” he sighs. 

“Don’t be stupid! It’s…I don’t know what to say because it’s so amazing that I can’t find words to tell you” she says as she never stops seeing the painting. “It’s…it is the sunset I took you to see…the colors…everything Peeta…everything looks…like I told you”

“So it isn’t abstract?” he laughs a little. 

“Of course not” she says laughing too. “But you can’t give me this! I mean I’d love to have it…but…you should send it somewhere for a scholarship” she says. If he paints a few more he can apply and she’s sure that he’d get in. But when she looks at his face she frowns she can’t help it. He’s got that sad face again…the one that tugs the corners of her mouth. The one that she hates so much. 

“Let’s talk about that another time…okay?” he says because she knows he’s sure she’s frowning and wants to kick his ass for the face he’s got on now. She really wants to but she won’t. She squeezes his hand and keeps repeating that it’s amazing followed by many silences that stop only when they have to rush back to class. Lunch is over. 

XOXO  
So… the sort of dance is tomorrow. He’s really nervous. Today after school Finnick is going to pick him up so they can go buy the corsage thingy. He’s bought corsages before…he’d be lying if he said he always went by himself to the dances but this one makes him particularly nervous because he won’t be able to actually choose it. 

By the time they are actually in the store Peeta has thought about all the kinds of flowers he knows and that he’d like to buy for her. He’s rooting for katniss’ or lilies you can never go wrong with those. The problem is the color and that Katniss didn’t even know what she was going to where so he’s buying kind of blindly here…he doesn’t know what to do. 

“I’ll buy a rose for Annie…Rye asked me for a tulip and Gale told me that If I bought flowers Johanna would kick my ass but I am taking him roses...she’s s sucker for roses even if she doesn’t admit it…Soooo….for Katniss a katniss?” he asks carefully and watches Peeta shake his head. 

“I want a lily…” he says simply “But could you…ummm…”

“There are yellow lilies with orange at the center and little red dots or whatever…they have white with strong pink in the center and little dots and white ones with orange in the center and little red dots…I think the white and pink ones look great…”

“Yeah…I know what you are talking about…” he says. Every time Finnick or someone else describes something for him he’s got to use his imagination…he’s gotten pretty good at doing it. No one can describe things for him like Katniss can. Well…even Mallow describes things better than Finnick but he appreciates the effort. 

“So? the white one with strong pink?”

“Yeah, but pick the prettiest one please” he says as Finnick talks to the flower girl. 

“We all should get ready together” Finnick says as he’s taking him to the center. He’s got to practice some reading and stuff with Alli. It’s not that he needs it…he likes to. 

“It probably is a good idea” says Rye’s voice from his right. “Mom would kill us if she knew we are wasting our waking time in something is not working…we’ll tell dad the truth and to mom…we’ll….teller her that you’ve got something at the center…she won’t bother to question. We get together there and then we pick the girls up as a group”

“Where did you come from?” he asks. And his brother laughs. 

“I was waiting here at the center…saw you guys from the window decided to come down”

“Ok…so here at the center it will be…” they all agree. 

XOXO  
Today is the sort of dance. Today…is…the sort of…dance. Why in heaven had she agreed to go? She’s nervous and she can’t stop looking at the dress laid out on her bed. A green dress that’s got little spaghetti straps, it’s fitted right on the waist and reaches her knee. Delly borrowed saying that all she had in mind when she’d seen it was her. She didn’t like the idea of borrowing a dress but the truth was that it was that dress or nothing. She discovered this after freaking out the other day for over an hour when she realized she didn’t have something to wear to the dance. 

Now she was freaking out because she couldn’t stop thinking about what shoes to wear…if she should let her hair loose or what. It certainly was a girl’s thing and she was just clueless. She sighs. She needs help. 

XOXO  
If he looks okay…he can’t know. Alli picked the tie and his brother took out his usual suit. He fidgets uncomfortably. He doesn’t know why he thought that agreeing to the stupid dance was a good idea. He feels more useless than usual…and it doesn’t feel right. He’s supposed to be excited…he’s supposed to be ecstatic. He always dreamed of going to a dance with Katniss Everdeen. He always dreamt of the way he would ask her to be his date, how they would dance all night and he would not be able to stop looking at her and her beautiful face with those beautiful gray eyes, they would have so much fun and he would make sure that she didn’t scowl that much. She was going to be happy with him. And at the end of the night when he took her home…he would have kissed her and tell her how he had been in love of her his entire life, ever since he saw her singing in the assembly. 

Today…the only thing that resembled that scenario was the fact that he would take her to the sort of dance. But he had not done any of the things he had imagined. He would never be able to, he couldn’t even dance now. And that was it. He sighed. If only he could make sure that he looked okay…

Alli was the only person who knew that and right before she had gotten a call from Katniss they had had a fight. That was the usual thing of course but today they had yelled at each other. The last thing she had said before storming out was that he was being an idiot for thinking that Katniss was not going with him for the fun of it. Unlike him Alli strongly believed that she was going to go with him because she wanted. Katniss doesn’t look at him like he’s blind and even if she did she doesn’t care about that. She doesn’t care that he’s blind and it’s about time he’s got that into his stubborn head. Ouch. The girl had an amazing sixth sense…she always knew what to say to hit a nerve. 

“Mr. Peeta looks really pretty” says a little voice. 

“Mallow?” 

“Yes Mr. Peeta…it’s me! Mommy is about to finish here at the center…I was playing when I saw you…you look really pretty Mr. Peeta…your eyes look cute too they look blue like the sky!” she states. He can’t see her but he’s sure she’s blushing. The crush she’s got on him is something he never experienced before and he feels flattered. “Can I tell you something?” says the little voice. 

“Of course” he answers. It is amazing how the innocence of a little child can bring a smile to your face. It may sound stupid but that innocence brought something back to him when they first met. Her innocence allowed her to tell him things that coming from an adult may even sound insulting. Coming from the girl most of the times sounded encouraging. And he had learned to trust himself a little more. 

He feels the girls little hand on his pulling him down and he kneels. She places her little hand on his face next to his ear as if to tell him a secret and she whispers. 

“I would dance with you. I don’t care that you can’t see. For me you are the best” she says whispering with her little voice. And he smiles. “I swear it’s true…please don’t be sad and I am sure Miss Katniss thinks the same way” 

“Thank you Mallow…thank you so much” he says as he places his hand on the little girls face and his other hand takes hers. 

“So…a dance with me? I know you can dance!” she says and the hand that’s on her little face can feel the smile. 

“Of course” he says taking her on his arms. Even if today doesn’t go the way he always planned it can go a different way…an equally good different way. Even if he is blind life still got those little things that make it good. He’s going to a dance with Katniss Everdeen. And as he spins with the little girl giggling on his arms he smiles. The little things…maybe he will be able to dance tonight after all. 

XOXO  
She’s not sure why she cares so freaking much. It’s only a stupid sort of dance…nothing fancy…but she is panicking even with Alli in front of her taking out shoes from her duffel bag and saying things about hair and complaining about Peeta. Apparently they had another fight. Those two with their fights get on their nerves. 

“Katniss I am talking to you woman look at me! Do you need me to slap you or something?”

“What?” she asks annoyed. Alli just sighs. 

“Stop being so nervous would you? Even if you showed up on ratty jeans that boy is going to be speechless so just pick anything…”

“I don’t even know why I am nervous…” she groans and picks some flats from the pile that Alli dropped on the bed. Alli kneels on the ground in front of her with that smile of I know something you don’t she doesn’t like. 

“It’s going to be okay Katniss…don’t beat yourself up for wanting to look good…It happens” she smiles knowingly. “And don’t worry you look perfect just the way you are…no makeup or anything!” she says as she stands up. Oddly she feels comforted by her words. And at the same time she wonders if there’s something that Alli knows that she doesn’t. That smile is on her face for a reason. 

She looks at herself on the mirror. The dress looks good now that she’s got it on, the flats that Alli brought look good with the dress too and she’s wearing her usual braid…no makeup or anything. She likes how she looks…she just hopes Peeta does too. Peeta won’t be able to see her…but still she wants to look good. This is new!   
XOXO  
Annie is grumpy. She spent her whole afternoon placing lights in the backyard so it would look beautiful. She even hung some lights so it would look prettier. She placed a table on the center with a beautiful black tablecloth and all kinds of flowers so it would look good. She’s tired and she knows she doesn’t look as pretty as she would like. That’s why she’s grumpy. 

“Baby baby!” comes Finnick from behind and hugs her tightly. She loves the way he hugs her tightly because it makes her feel like she’s home. “You are going to be the most beautiful girl on this party!” he says and kisses her temple. 

And just like that. She feels pretty…and just like that she feels loved. Yeah, love can do that to people. 

 

XOXO  
Delly, Johanna, Madge and Alli are having an awesome time. They are waiting for the dates to pick them up. Guys got together at the center to come and pick them up mostly to save the trouble to Peeta and Rye with their mom. Finnick is probably with Annie at her house by now. She can’t understand love. The way those two just fix each other and complement each other is beyond her understanding. 

When they hear the knock on the door Delly and Madge start screaming like crazy. Alli is just shaking her head with a smile just as Johanna scowls and she…she is frozen. Alli places her hand on her shoulder and walks to the door opening it. 

“Madge, Delly, Johanna Katniss… your dates are hereeeee” she calls to them with a smile on her voice. They exit the living room and she can hear them talking to their respective dates. She walks and she sees him. 

She remembers thinking Peeta is beautiful…she is speechless…his eyes are a shining neon blue that match perfectly with his tie, he’s got a small smile on his face…a shy smile and he’s hair is messy but she just loves what she’s looking at. 

“Katniss?” he asks because as everyone is with their dates he’s the only one standing there still alone. 

“I’m here” she says and immediately she holds his hand. 

“I brought this for you” he says clearing his throat because his voice came out in a funny way. He is handing her a beautiful lily. It’s white and coming from the center there are streaks of a dark pink that spread on the petals and that are adorned by little dots of a darker shade of pink. It’s a beautiful lily and as he takes it out of the box he takes her hand and slides the elastic band from the tip of her fingers to her wrist. It looks beautiful. 

“Thank you Peeta…it’s beautiful” she says. 

They are walking down to Annie’s house. They walk in couples down the street she and Peeta decide to stay at the back. They are walking quietly down the street. He’s got his cane in one hand and Katniss’ hand on the other. He’s smiling. Her smile. 

Annie decorated beautifully the backyard. She describes to Peeta how it looks and he is happy about it. They talk and talk the whole night. It’s interesting because she looks at the others dancing and laughing and there’s some kissing too but she can’t think of a better way than being with Peeta exactly where they are and doing exactly what they are doing. 

She dances for a while too and amazes herself when she realizes that she is actually having fun. They have dinner and play for a while and if this is a dance she thinks she likes them. 

The rest of the night goes by in a blur and before she knows it’s midnight. Everyone starts calling it a night. The only ones left are Delly, Rye, Annie, Finnick and them. The other two couples went inside a long time ago leaving them behind by themselves in the backyard.   
They are sitting there feeling the breeze. It is great. It is peaceful. It feels right. 

“You didn’t dance the whole night” she says suddenly. 

“I’m sorry” he says and “looks” down. 

“There’s no one left here” she says as if informing him. She doesn’t know why a fact like this one is relevant at this moment but she feels like telling him. 

He “looks” up and she can see he’s got his face of I’m thinking about something. That face he gets every time he’s over thinking something. His lips are pointing to his right tight and his brow is furrowed. 

“What are you thinking about?” she asks laughing a little. 

“I’m just…would you like to try something?” he asks standing up. “But…there’s no music…forget about it” he says suddenly sitting back. 

Oh no! He’s not going to do that to her. She rushes to where the ipod and the speakers are and she puts a song she likes on. She gets back to where he is and sits next to him. 

“There’s music now” she says as she takes his hand and squeezes it. 

“I was at the center today…I had a fight with Alli…Mallow heard and before I knew she was telling me some things and…she asked me for a dance” he says with a shy smile. She won’t ask why they fought because she doesn’t want to ruin the moment. She probably will ask him later…but not right now. 

“And what did you do?” she asks. She knows he can’t say no to Mallow…the little girl’s got a crush on him but Peeta loves her equally. She wonders if he denied her for the first time. 

“I…danced with her…I didn’t think I…” he says with a rueful smile. “I thought I couldn’t…but…Mallow…and well…” he turns and smiles at her. “Would you dance with me?” he asks with a shy smile on his face. 

“Stupid question” she smiles and stands up as they position themselves to start dancing the familiar beat of a song starts coming from the speakers. What an appropriate song for the moment. It makes her think of him and somehow part of the lyrics fit. 

“Ps you rock my world?” he asks recognizing the song. She just nods laying her head against his elbow as they move slowly to the song. Even if the words don’t fit completely there’s something on the song… on its beat that makes it perfect. 

Once again here in his arms she feels like she belongs. She feels the warmth enveloping her and she can’t help but to wonder again about their blurring lines. She looks up. 

She can’t keep her eyes away from his eyes. She looks at his face. His lost stare is the only thing that gives away that he’s blind. She doesn’t even care about that. His strong jaw line…his neon blue eyes…his long eye lashes. His lips. She’s never felt this way before…she doesn’t know what it means. And she doesn’t know what she’s doing but somehow something is attracting her to Peeta. She looks at his lips and the smile that they are forming and she just…she’s not thinking about anything as she starts getting closer and closer to his face. She closes her eyes. She can feel his breath on her cheek. What the hell is she doing? 

AN. Soooo…hope you like the new chapter! Again thank you so very much for the alerts, favorites and reviews! Again…review for a preview! 

I didn’t sent the preview for the review you left for chapter 7 because…well…chapter 8 is ready so I saw no point! Let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

She is getting closer she knows because she can feel the warmth radiating from him. The thing is…that she now knows she always freaks out in the worst moments. She opens her eyes and she can see that Peeta is unaware of what happened the last seconds so instead of kissing his lips like she is sure she was going to do she gives him a small kiss on the cheek. He blushes immediately and her smile shows up on his face. 

She jumps in surprise when she hears the steps on the wood floor. What the hell she was doing? What is all this supposed to mean?

She keeps wondering today. It’s been a week from that and she’s scared as hell. 

She’s never liked a boy before. She’s never had feelings for someone who’s not her sister and that’s it. So these hand holding, being too close to Peeta and the incident on the dance scares her. It scares her way too much. She’s tried to keep things normal with him. After all he doesn’t know what she was about to do…she doesn’t know what it means herself and even more important he’s never trying anything with her so the one who must be wrong in all these must be her. 

She’s confused. This can’t end well. She’s getting too close to him. Way too close and she can’t allow herself to do that…she can’t allow herself to gain someone to lose him later and then become a shell like her mom. She can’t do that. She can’t afford to love someone and she doesn’t even know if what Peeta and she have can be called that. So friends it is going to be. They are going to be friends and that’s it. No more hand holding nor going to dances nor anything fishy. She must keep her distance no matter what. 

He keeps acting normal and so does she. The only thing that has changed is that every time she feels like holding his hand she squeezes one hand with the other one to keep herself from doing it. No more kisses on the cheek either. That’s not exactly a friend thing….not a thing she would’ve done before the lines started to blur. He seems to notice because it looks like he knows when she wants to do something but every time he just frowns for a little while and then everything goes back to normal. 

XOXO  
The dance definitely went better than he expected. He had even had a dance with Katniss Everdeen and even if it wasn’t the dance he had always dreamt of it was equally good in a different way. It didn’t finish with him taking her to her house and kissing her at the end of the night confessing his eternal love for her. No, it had finished with a slow dance and a kiss on the cheek that she had given him. Even better because it had come from her and not from him…and maybe it meant that she actually liked him…he could only hope. 

But turns out maybe he was wrong because it’s been two weeks since the dance incident and nothing seems to have changed. Well, nothing but her not holding his hand anymore and somehow keeping her distance. He doesn’t understand. He had thought that things had changed but of course they had not. As he always did he had read more into the lines and now he was kind of disappointed. But they were still friends and they still talked to each other so all in all things were okay. He sighs. 

Alli thinks that Katniss is just scared. Girls tend to do that did you know? It seems like he’s very inexperienced because he didn’t know that something such as having feelings for someone scared girls. 

“Yeah yeah….we are complicated…the only woman in your life who is not is maybe Mallow and maybe even Prim…but they will grow up” she stated laughingly. 

“But do you think that she likes me?”

“I know so Peeta….the thing is…does she know?”

“You think she doesn’t know she likes me?”

“I don’t think she knows she likes you…Hell! I don’t think she knows you like her!” she says with an exasperated tone of voice. 

“What? How can that be?”

“Girls can be blind too Peeta…we don’t realize someone likes us as well as other people does…well…not every girl…there are some that kind of have a radar for that stuff…but as the usual things never apply with Katniss I would think that she has no clue Peeta”

He sighs sadly. If things are like Alli says he can understand why Katniss is freaking out. Girls are complicated. He groans. What is he supposed to do know?

“You don’t do a thing” states Alli taking his soda can from his hand. “Chill out! Just give her some time until she figures everything out if you say something while she’s confused and figuring out her stuff she will freak out even worse and God knows what she can do! Be smart Peeta….keep being what she needs…her friend! And when she figures out what she feels everything will fall into place I swear!” 

“Okay” he says because what she’s saying makes perfect sense. “You are right” he says and he hears her laugh. 

“Peeta Peeta…” she sighs exaggeratedly “I am…always right!” she laughs and gives him back an empty soda can. 

“You finished it! I had just opened it Alli!”

“I was thirsty! Stop whining I’ll buy you another one!” she says. 

“Sometimes I wonder why I am your friend!” he says grumpily. 

“Oh shut up! You love me!” she says as she walks away. He just smiles. Yeah, he loves her. 

XOXO  
Peeta stops frowning every time she doesn’t take his hand. He doesn’t even try taking her arm or anything. He’s back to how he used to be when they first started being friends and she doesn’t like it! 

“Make up your mind would you?” she tells to herself as she’s stuffing things in her locker. 

If she’s learned something through years is that it takes a big amount of time and other things to build something with someone…any kind of relationship but relatively so little to destroy it. So little. 

She’s walking to one of her classes when she spots Alli sitting with Peeta in the art room. She’s describing something to him and he is just nodding as he mixes some colors in a pallet he’s got on his hand. Suddenly they start laughing and Peeta pushes her when she falls off the stool he pales and bends over but she just pulls his hand and he topples over her. 

They are both laughing hard and both red faced from the exertion. She feels fire in her blood. She doesn’t like what she’s seeing but then again she’s the one who said she just wanted to be friends with him. 

They get up and start laughing again. They sit in their stools and start talking again. 

“Keep your hands to yourself Mellark or I will tell Fern about this!” he starts laughing. 

“Keep yours to yourself you are the one who pulled me to you” he says jokingly. 

“Please don’t tell Katniss! If she hears about this she’s going to kill me! You are hers after all!” she says with a wink that she knows he can’t see but that adds something to her joking tone of voice. Katniss gasps. 

“Yeah…right…like if that would ever happen…she doesn’t even know I…” he stays quiet. He sighs. 

“Come on…don’t choke on it…” Alli coaxes him. 

“That I have been in love of her since childhood…that since I met her I like her even more….my childhood fantasies did not make her any justice…she’s amazing…I just…” 

Katniss’ ears are ringing. She’s gasping for air and her grip on her book bag strap has her knuckles white from the tight grip. 

“When you tell her Peeta…” Alli says leaning on his side with her head on his shoulder “You have to fix the words” she says with a smile and he starts laughing. 

That can’t be truth. What she heard can’t be real. He likes her since they were kids? No! He didn’t say like her…he said loved her…he said he loved her since childhood…How? Why? That can’t be real…it just can’t. And Alli knows? What does it mean? Was that why he helped her when they were children outside the bakery? No! He must be lying! No one can harbor feelings for that long for someone he doesn’t even know. And now that they know each other…was he all the time trying to get her somehow? Was he never honest with her? She stumbles a little knocking the lockers and the loud thump scares her. She starts running, looking back just once to see Alli’s surprised and sad eyes from the door.   
She knows she heard. She just hopes she doesn’t say a thing. 

XOXO  
“What was that?” he asks and visibly pales. She knows what he fears. 

“I’ll go take a look” she says. And when she reaches the door she can see a familiar braid and the girl running away pale. She looks back and looks right into her eyes. She’s telling her not to say a thing. And of course she won’t…Peeta would freak out. It was not the way she was supposed to find out. She was supposed to hear it from Peeta when she was ready but not before because now as she sees her running away from there she knows she was absolutely right. Katniss Everdeen is freaking out and most definitely is about to mess things up. 

Everything is about to get messy. She squares her shoulders and prepares for the blow that is to come. She shakes her head as she goes back to the class to tell Peeta that something probably fell, that nothing happened. Well, something happened. 

XOXO  
She’s been acting weird. Weirder than how she was acting after the dance. He wonders if he did something…if everything is all right but he doesn’t dare to ask. But today she’s grumpier, she didn’t come to have lunch at class with him and when she finally arrives she says hi with a whisper…as if she wishes he wouldn’t hear. 

As the time passes and Mr. Cinna asks them to discuss a topic Katniss has just grown quieter. The only sound he can hear is her stool scraping the floor constantly or her foot tapping the stool. It sounds like she’s unnerved by something he knows she does that when she wants to get out of somewhere. 

“Katniss are you okay?” he asks placing his hand on her back and she jumps surprised. He removes his hand immediately. 

“I’m okay…sorry” she says but he knows she’s not okay and he doesn’t know why she’s apologizing. 

“You didn’t come for lunch” he says and she sighs. 

“I had homework I didn’t finish…you know things to do…sorry”

“It’s okay” he sighs. Something’s up…if she would only tell him. The bell rings and she stands up in a hurry. He knows because she bumps into him. 

“I’ve got to go. See you later!” she says and he hears her footsteps going away. 

“What’s up with her?” Delly asks. She came to take him to their next class since he’s helping her with Rye. Yeah acting like a match maker is his new job. 

“I don’t know…” he says because he truthfully doesn’t…he just wishes he did. 

XOXO  
Katniss has been acting weird. That much is obvious. She’s not only been acting weird in general but to Peeta and Alli specially. She doesn’t really understand. 

“I am going to the center. Are you coming?” Katniss shakes her head. “Peeta is going to be there” she tries. If Katniss doesn’t react to this like she always used to she will know where the problem is. And as she sees her sister stiffen she knows that the problem has a name. Peeta Mellark. 

Katniss is like an open book to her…and how wouldn’t she be if they’ve grown together and basically they’ve been what the other one had when everything got rough. She loves her sister…and that’s why she knows that whatever happened has something to do with feelings and stuff. Katniss can go to the woods and hunt…she can do anything to make them survive…she can do anything. But understanding feelings and managing them…she can’t. Prim sighs…sometimes she wishes they would have grown in a different way so her sister would open up more. So her sister would allow herself to love and to be loved back. She only hopes Peeta has it in him to fight for her. Because he sure as hell will have to… he may even have to fight Katniss herself in order to reach her. 

First she’s going to find out what happened. 

XOXO  
“Did you guys have a fight?” 

“What?” he asks. It’s been a long time since he last had a conversation or something with Prim. She mostly spends her time with Rue now. 

“I asked you if you and my sister had a fight” she says and he can hear that she is kind of mad. He bets she’s got her arms crossed over her chest and is frowning. 

“No, not that I know of” he says truthfully. 

“Then what is wrong with her?” she asks and he hears her seat heavily next to him. “She’s been acting extremely weird…she didn’t even want to come with me today and you know she likes to be here…she even stiffened a little when I said…” she doesn’t finish. He guesses it has a lot to do with him and that’s why she didn’t finish. 

“I don’t know Prim…she’s been acting weird…I know…I think she’s keeping distance…”

“Well, you guys should talk…solve your problems whatever… I don’t like how she’s acting” 

“I can’t talk to her at school…she does her best to leave class as fast as she can so I won’t follow and even when we have lunch she won’t talk to me like she normally does…”

“I’ll bring her here…she can’t run away from you here…that’s what I’ll do…I will talk to her first and if it doesn’t work well…then you’ll have to do it here” he sighs. Forcing Katniss to do something she doesn’t want to do is not a very smart thing but he doesn’t know what to do so he guesses Prim will. Or at least that’s what he hopes. 

XOXO  
“I asked Peeta if you guys were fighting…” Katniss is about to argue but her little sister keeps talking before she can. “He said no…but you’ve been acting weird Katniss…he says you are not having lunch like before with him and that you are kind of avoiding him…what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing” she sighs. Prim looks at her with a knowing look. If someone has a slight idea of what is wrong with her is her sister but how can she tell her little sister that she heard him telling Alli that he loves her? That she’s not sure how she feels about it…because even when she tried to convince herself about them just being friends it didn’t work. And that now that she’s trying to keep her distance she just misses spending all her time with him like before but that she’s not sure what it means. That she can just think what would happen if she allows herself to have that kind of feelings for him and then lose him like her mother had lost their father and then become a shell of her former self. She can’t possibly say all these things aloud…she just can’t. 

“Well, if nothing happened Katniss…can you come to the center with me next time?”

“What?” 

“Well, you say nothing’s wrong. So would you come with me to the center?” she says. Prim smiles innocently. She sighs. She knows Prim knows her too well…and that she will have to go to the center. The thing is…what is she going to tell Peeta when she sees him? What is Alli going to tell her when she sees her? Agh! Life just got way too complicated! 

When she arrives at the center she can see people sitting in couples in the tables. She sees Alli and as Prim runs to give her a hug she looks at Katniss and waves. Prim runs off somewhere. 

“Hey!” she says when she reaches her. 

“Hey” says Katniss avoiding her eyes. 

“I didn’t say a thing” says Alli out of nowhere. 

“Thank you” she says sighing. Relief flows through her body. But how long will it last? She knows she will have to do something to solve her troubled feelings. She’s just not sure of what now. “What happened to you wrist?” asks Katniss as she notices the several bruises that adorn her skin. 

“Stupid step father is stupid…” Katniss’ eyes widen. “I won’t lie to you” states Alli simply. “Everyone knows by now…I rather tell you myself than someone telling you…gossip gets messy” she says with a knowing look. 

“I’m sorry” she says. 

“What are you apologizing for?” she asks. “For my situation or for keeping your distance now?” she asks truthfully. 

“Both” says Katniss. 

“You don’t have to. For either you know? I understand how it feels to be confused and scared. I just wish you wouldn’t have found out that way. It wasn’t supposed to go that way. And well…the way you’ve been behaving is kind of…harsh!” 

“I know…I’ll just…try to make it better…” Alli nods. 

“Come on Katniss! Peeta is over here! You can work with him!” She reluctantly walks to where the boy is sitting and takes a seat in front of him. 

“Hi Peeta” she says. 

“Hey Katniss!” he says and a little smile shows on his face. 

She sits in front of him in silence for a while and looks at him. She said she would make it better. How is she supposed to do that when her feelings are still something she does not understand? She didn’t know before that feelings complicated friendships. She did know. 

XOXO  
She’s sitting in front of him now. And well, her attitude tells him what he’s known for a few days now. 

She knows he likes her. 

He doesn’t know how she found out. It really doesn’t matter now. The thing is that she knows and he groans as he remembers Alli telling him that she would freak out big time if she found out before she figured out her feelings. That’s exactly what’s happening now. She’s freaking out and her way of doing so is placing a shield around herself. He sighs. Inside he’s freaking out too. But even freaking out he doesn’t want to keep her away. What is he supposed to do now the she knows?   
He’s not even sure if he wants to do something. It’s not like he can blame her for freaking out right? It’s not like he wouldn’t if he were in her place. She’s colder and more calculating and probably every single part of her brain is screaming at her that she can’t possibly like someone like him. He can’t blame her…but it still hurts somehow. He decides that so long she acts like if she doesn’t know he will too. He doesn’t want to complicate things even more by saying something or doing something. It’s not rational. What bothers him is that he’s not a rational person…and sooner than later he’s going to let his feelings lead and he’s going to screw up. He can just hope that that happens later than sooner. 

XOXO  
She’s been thinking really hard. 

Feelings are a complicated thing. And she only wishes she could understand better the turmoil that’s inside her. She likes to spend time with him, to talk to him, to hold his hand and even the idea of a kiss sounds compelling. One thing is clear and it is that she likes him…but going from liking someone to loving someone…there’s a big distance and she doesn’t know if she’s there. She knows she can’t be. She promised herself after her father died that she would never love anyone that way because that kind of love can only hurt people…that kind of love breaks hearts uneven and can take everything away from you. She can’t think of one thing to look at it as a positive thing. So she won’t. She will block It as she’s always done even if that means keeping her shield up. 

She looks up and Peeta is simply reading. She loves to watch him read but she won’t. She will force herself to look away. She can’t like him. She can’t allow herself to feel something more. She can’t allow herself to let someone break her. She won’t.   
She turns around and looks at Alli with a guy on a table. The same guy that went to the dance with her and they are holding hands. She’s smiling and blushing and sighing. How can something like that be so simple for some people and so complicated for some others? Is it her that’s complicating everything and in all honesty this is not such a difficult matter? No, she can’t be. Can she? 

She hasn’t stop looking so when Alli looks up and sees her staring their way she waves a little. She thinks back to what they just talked about. Alli didn’t say a thing so basically Peeta doesn’t know why she’s been acting the way she’s been doing it. It’s not his fault that she heard something she wasn’t supposed to hear…not yet at least. He’s giving her space like she wants without questioning her motives and she can only think about how she doesn’t deserve him… She makes a decision then…friends, no blurring lines…everything as normal as it can possibly be. 

She’s going to make it better. She’s going to try. 

How long will that give her peace? How long will that be enough? She doesn’t really know. As for now she doesn’t want to. She just wants to try. And try she will. 

AN. Law school is complicated…even more when is your last semester and you have just three months left! So that explains why I didn’t send the people who reviewed their surprise! I am really really sorry!   
Thank you for your reviews, alerts and favorites!!! Hope you enjoy!!!   
PD. So I was wondering…I get many views every chapter but so little reviews that I am wondering if the same people are reading over and over again the chapters! (Not that I mind!) :P Let me know if it’s not that way! Thanks again for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

It’s been getting better. She’s been trying. It’s hard not to when you have the eyes of Alli and Prim on you expecting you to hurt the boy so they can kick your ass. 

So she’s tried. But a boy liking you can really mess up with your head. Because now every day she finds herself in front of the mirror wondering if she looks good and taking more time picking the clothing she’s going to wear the next day. She never did that before and she hates it. She hates that she’s doing it because that’s not like her and even if she knows she likes him she’s been fighting it so she doesn’t get what’s making her do it. 

They are better now. They talk more but there’s always something that keeps the situation tense. This is going to blow up. She knows it…it’s like when you see that something may happen if you don’t do something but you can’t stop it anyway so you just prepare for the blow. 

She’s expecting the blow. 

XOXO  
So things have been better between them. He knows she’s trying and somehow they are kind of like before…like when they first started being friends but she’s still keeping her distance. They are friends again but he knows that she knows and somehow that changes everything. 

Knowing that the girl you have liked your whole life knows about it and keeps acting this way kind of hurts. It means she doesn’t want anything to do with him…not that he blames her but still is hard on the ego. More so on his super fragile ego. 

“So how are you today?” 

“Fine”

“You don’t look fine…how’s everything with Katniss?”

“Better”

“You are not lying to me so I won’t kick her ass…are you?”

“Of course not! Things have been better…she’s…we are speaking again and having lunch together everything’s fine…” he leaves out the part of her keeping her distance. He doesn’t want to force her or anything. 

“Okay… so what’s with all the black on this painting? It looks like a funeral…” she says sitting next to him. Since Katniss started keeping distance first he started going to the art room and nosey Alli started following him so now they spend lunch time together in the art room. Most of the times that is…Katniss shows up occasionally so he waits for her and when she doesn’t show up he goes with Alli. She is teasing him constantly and complaining too about being his second choice. He laughs it off. As a friend she is always going to be his first. He knows she knows but keeps silent. 

“Maybe it is” he says as he adds some white. 

“Whose funeral is that?” she asks. 

“Mine…well the old me’s funeral if that makes sense to you”

“It does…I must be worse than I thought then…” she says with a smile on her voice and he smiles too. 

XOXO  
It happens while they are standing on his locker. Cato passes by and knocks him down. While he’s standing up his ears are all red from Cato and his group laughing. She’s furious. She is helping him up when Cato laughs even harder. 

“Not even pity could get you the girl huh Mellark?” he says as his group laughs along with him. 

“Shut up Cato!” Alli yells she’s now next to them shooting daggers at him. 

“Why? Not even beat up Alli took pity to like you Mellark? A girl with a brain wouldn’t like someone like you…a cripple!”

“He’s not a cripple! He doesn’t need pity or any other thing to get a girl to like him…even less if it’s to prove you wrong…everyone knows you are stupid enough to be wrong all the time” yells Alli and Katniss smiles. That was a comeback. 

“Yeah right! You are saying that just so I will shut up…but it won’t work!”

“Oh! Shut up Cato!” Alli yells again “Bugger off, you ass!” 

Cato opens his mouth once then closes it. He starts laughing and walks away with all his minions. 

“Peeta are you okay?” he just nods but he looks pale. “Ummm I have class so…” Katniss nods and Alli takes this as a cue to leave. 

“Are you okay?” she asks and again he nods. They walk to class and he’s silent all the time. She can see that he hates himself right now. What Cato said certainly hit a nerve. When the class finishes she doesn’t leave because he doesn’t even move from his seat. 

“Do you…do you think that what he said is true?” he asks…his voice is nothing more than a whisper. She knew that that was what was bothering him. 

“No” she answers simply because she knows it’s the truth. Peeta can’t see it because well…he’s blind but he’s good looking and there are always girls around him. She can remember how she used to get mad when Alli got too close…or how the girls at the center gravitate around him. “Any girl…with a brain or without it would like you” she states simply. And she knows…it’s the truth. 

“Yeah…okay” he answers simply. She knows he doesn’t believe a word she says. But it is because he can’t see how he affects others…she sighs. Sometimes she wishes Peeta would be able to see himself like other people does. Because he is not his blindness he is so much more than that. 

“It’s the truth Peeta…I…d…!” she starts saying and immediately she covers her mouth with her hands. She can’t believe she almost said that. Peeta just sighs and shrugging his shoulders starts to walk out of the class. But she can’t help to notice that he knows what she almost said. He’s got a small smile on his face. 

XOXO  
Katniss Everdeen is bipolar. That’s all she can think about. When Peeta gets to the center and tells her that after the incident with Cato she said that she likes him…she actually didn’t finish the sentence but she’s pretty sure that I d… means I do. Okay…so that qualifies her as bipolar because just a week ago she was keeping herself away from him because she heard he liked her and now she says this. 

She is worried because it sure means a big step for Peeta but she’s not sure why Katniss said it. Peeta is beaming she thinks Katniss said it because she thought so but it doesn’t mean anything else just that she likes him too. Peeta’s love for that girl blinds him. He’s blind but she means that he obviously does not see her for real…he sees her as he wants to so he translates what he wants from what she says. She worries way too much. 

XOXO  
There are events that trigger somehow another series of events that lead you to a moment that you will always remember or you will always want to forget. 

She thinks the trigger was her almost telling him that she likes him. She practically said it. 

She goes to the center under Prim’s petition. Today they are practicing recognition. Whatever that means she’s supposed to go there and help Peeta. Today he’s on the farthest corner almost concealed behind big piles of books. When she spots him he’s with Alli there and she’s leaning on his shoulder with her eyes closed. She’s got a bruise on her eye today. She winces because it looks painful. When she approaches she notices that they are sharing earphones and she doesn’t want to interrupt. Alli opens her eyes and waves and whispers something on his ear and he smiles too. 

“Hey!” they greet her in unison and start laughing. 

“Hey” she answers with a small smile. She points Alli her eye and she shrugs. 

“You know” she says and shrugs. 

“Prim came with you?” he asks and she says yes “She should take a look at your eye Alli…” he says and she says she will ask her. 

“We are practicing recognizing faces with the hands” Alli explains. “His hands are clean I made sure of it” she winks and Peeta groans. “He’s got to place his hands on your face and try to create an image of it on his mind out of it” she states simply. “If you guys need help just let me know okay?” she says and leaves. 

“You were listening music?” she asks and Peeta smiles. 

“Yeah! Do you want to hear music? We can do that instead of practice” he says and she smiles. He knows her so well that he knows when she doesn’t want to do something. 

They spend the next hour listening to music. They are talking like before and somehow without realizing about it she ended up leaning on him like Alli with her head on his shoulder while they listen to the music. She likes this it’s comfortable…it’s them. This is not blurring lines… Alli was doing it…it’s okay. She tries to convince herself. 

She hears a snap and opens her eyes and there’s Alli with her cell phone out and smiling. She mouths sorry and leaves them alone. Katniss sighs…she gets tired most of the time of Alli’s knowing smile but she’s learned to deal with it. She closes her eyes again…this is just perfect. 

“You should be practicing!” says Prim with her arms crossed over her chest. She opens her eyes reluctantly. Prim is frowning. 

“Yes master!” Peeta says and they both start laughing as Prim walks away. 

“We should start before she comes back and kicks our asses” Katniss says smiling. They agree that they will keep listening to the music while they practice. Peeta insists that music helps him concentrate. 

Katniss takes his hands and places them on both sides of her face. His hands are trembling slightly and she smiles. She doesn’t know if it’s just luck or what but just as he places his hands on her face the familiar beat of Wonderwall starts and they both relax visibly. That song makes her shiver a little…her wonderwall. She closes her eyes. 

His hands are really big because they cover the whole contour of her face by just being placed there. She can feel the way his thumbs and fingers are over her face feeling every single thing of her face. His hands smell like cinnamon and sugar and she wonders if he always smells that way. She bets he does and a sigh escapes her lips. She can feel his hands all over his face, she feels his fingers over her eyebrows, her nose, her cheek bones, her cheeks…he is everywhere and she likes this feeling. It is strange and relaxing all at the same time and suddenly she can feel his thumbs grazing the corners of her lips but she can’t will herself to open her eyes. She just can’t because here right now is where she feels she belongs. There are no blurring lines…it doesn’t matter that she likes him…that he likes her…that he said he loves her…that she can’t love him. right here…right now…nothing matters just them. 

She hears the familiar lyrics and all she can think about is Peeta. His eyes, his lashes, his lips…his smile… 

And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I  
Would like to say to you but I don't know how

‘Cuz maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me  
And after all, you're my wonderwall

She sings in her head and in right about that moment she feels the light peck on her lips. Peeta’s got his lips over hers and it’s so brief and so small and so sweet that she wonders if she just imagined it or if it was real. She doesn’t dare open her eyes, she can’t move, she thinks she’s not breathing and he does it again. She knows now that it was real and not a figment of her imagination. They stay silent for a while. She opens her eyes. He opens his and uncertainty crosses his face. 

“Katniss? I…I’m…” he says and he takes his hands away from her face. She looks him directly into his eyes and that’s when the panic finally settles in. 

“I need to go” she stammers standing up. She pulls the earphones and the Ipod falls from his lap where it was. She picks it up and tightening her grip on it she just takes a few steps back. She stumbles with a chair and the next thing she knows is that she’s outside the center. She probably ran out. She doesn’t know, she doesn’t remember all she knows is that she is panicking and she wants to get away from there. She was not ready…she is not ready…she never will be…she can’t lose him…she can’t become a shell. She can’t love him. 

XOXO  
The first thing he thinks about is…I kissed Katniss Everdeen. 

The second thing he thinks about is… she took my I pod. 

The third thing he thinks about is…. I screwed it up. 

If she freaked out before and kept her distance, he knows she won’t talk to him at all now. He is sure. 

Alli sits with him for a while after she sees Katniss leaving the center. It’s not like she didn’t see what happened he thinks. 

“So much for waiting when she’s ready…” 

“She already knows…there was no point was it?”

“I know…She heard us the other day Peeta…I am so sorry I didn’t want to tell you so you wouldn’t freak out and do something harsh like…I don’t know!” she says nervously. 

“Like what I just did?”

“No…what you just did had nothing to do with doing something harsh…that was entirely something…you are not a rational person…you let your feelings guide you…that’s what you did…the moment…the music…everything…”

“I am an idiot…she was freaking out before…keeping her distance…she’s going to avoid me like the plague now…” he says sighing. 

“Yeah…she’s going to. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…” she says forlornly. 

“It’s okay…I get why you did it…I would have freaked out…and maybe would have done something harsh and stupid” 

“I guess…Listen…the giving her time shit is still on Peeta…It’s not like she pulled away immediately…I saw you kissed her like twice…she’s freaking out over something different…not entirely you…just hold on! Let her solve her own troubled feelings!” 

“I…”

“Please…”

“It’s not like I can do anything else is there?” he says and they both sigh. Yeah…he screwed up…  
XOXO  
She couldn’t run fast enough. By the time she reaches the park she can barely breathe. 

What had she done? What had he done? She touches her lips with a trembling hand. She can still feel his warmth there…she can still feel his lips and the sweet taste that is Peeta. 

She is scared. She is terrified. She doesn’t know what to do. 

She sits on the swings and starts pushing herself while thinking. Her hands are trembling while holding on to the swings chains. 

She liked it. There was no doubt about it…it had been amazing. The feelings…the moment…everything. That’s why she can’t quite understand why she is freaking out the way she is doing it. Her mom’s sad face flashes in that moment. 

If she has learned something is that mommy and daddy issues are present in everyone’s lives. Your parents mark you forever whether you are aware of it or not. At the moment when she’d been growing up and she’d seen the adoration with which his father looked at her mother and her mother at her father she had wished to find that kind of love. A love that fills you to the core and that it doesn’t matter how hard things get it is enough to help you through them. But when her dad died and she saw how her mother had become a shell of her former self…she realized that a love like that one could easily kill you. From that moment on every time she thought of love she would think of weakness. 

Katniss Everdeen is not a weak person so love can’t be in her vocabulary. It can’t exist. She can’t allow herself to feel it because…well…it freaks her out. The only love she allows is that for her friends and of course Prim. 

Peeta scares her. She likes him. there’s no doubt about it…she likes to spend time with him, she likes talking to him, she likes…well…it would be easier to list the things she doesn’t like about him. But…he scares her because as much as she’s willed herself to block any feeling close to liking him…she’s failed miserably. If she tries not to love him…she probably will fail too. She can’t allow it. She won’t. 

This kiss meant nothing…it was nothing. He doesn’t exist anymore. If he’s not there…she can’t feel something more for him…if he’s not there she can live they way she’s always done it and she won’t have to love him just to lose him later. Everyone leaves in the end. She won’t be left.   
XOXO  
When he said she was going to act like if he had the plague…he wasn’t mistaken. It hurts. That’s all he can think about. 

She’s there…she’s always there but she’s always pretending he doesn’t exist. If his blindness has a positive side it is for her because as he can’t see her it’s easier to avoid him. It’s not like she hasn’t been successfully avoiding him in other places like psych…and the center. When things got better a couple of weeks ago she would occasionally show up at the class to have lunch with him. She never comes now. His lunch is spent with Alli in the art room. Lately is the only place where he feels okay…Alli is always with him. At least he is not all alone…it doesn’t make him feel that better anyway. When it comes to the center she just does not show up anymore. Prim assures him that she’s busy but even the little girl told him to be patient. He can recall that conversation easily…it’s what’s given him some sort of hope these days. 

“I’m sorry…she didn’t come today either” she says sadly. 

“It’s okay Prim I get it” he says with a sad smile. 

“Don’t give up on her Peeta…please!” she sounds desperate as she says it. “Katniss sees things differently…even more when it is about feelings….I think she’s being dumb…I think she’s kind of confused…please don’t give up! She’s going to see the things as they are soon! I am sure of it…but please don’t give up on her…and don’t take anything she says or does very seriously…Katniss gets scared easily and does stupid things!” Prim takes his hand with her squeezing it tightly…like if holding it that way it’s going to show her desperation. He nods because he can’t do anything else. Of course he would wait for her forever. 

He’s trying not to give up…he really is but it is really hard. He feels her get to class…he feels the familiar scent and knows she’s there but as always she feels more distant than ever. They spend the class in silence. Even when they have to discuss something she only answers with a yes or a no or to make the questions that need to be done but that’s it.   
The day Miss Effie calls him to the art room to tell him that she submitted his work to different universities because she thinks he’s that good he smiles for the first time in a few weeks. It’s something so big and so good that for a moment he allows himself to feel happy. 

When he gets to class that day he wishes more than ever that they were talking. She is after all the person that made him paint again. She is the person that allowed this to happen to him. But he’s not sure if he can talk to her…so he just dares to slip a piece of paper to her that says: Miss Effie sent my work to different schools. She thinks I may be getting into one of them. 

He hears her crumpling the paper. She says nothing. He sighs sadly. 

When class is over he stands and unfolds his cane when she takes his arm. 

“You are going to get into all of them. Don’t even doubt it” 

It’s like he’s been holding his breath without knowing it because he finally feels the air filling his lungs. 

“You really think so?” 

“I am sure of it” she says and he feels her pass him by. She’s leaving. He can feel the distance growing between them again. Of course the fact that she answered what he said doesn’t mean that she’s willing to be back to normal. Things can’t be normal after what happened the other day. Not for her. He’s not sure if she will listen but he feels like he has to say it anyways because it’s chocking him. 

“I am sorry Katniss. I miss you” 

XOXO  
When he slips the paper and she reads it she understands immediately why he looked so happy when he got into the class. She wanted so badly to ask him more about it but knew better than to do so. She is keeping her distance. He doesn’t exist. Nothing ever happened. She crumples the paper in her hand. 

She spends the rest of the hour thinking whether she should answer him or not. She can’t slip a paper with her answer because well… he can’t see it but…what to do? When the class finally ends they are the last ones as always. She’s sure he’s tired of waiting for some contact coming from her because unlike the first days when he would usually wait until she left now he leaves as soon as the class ends. Today is the proof as he stands up to leave unfolding his cane. If she’s going to say something…which she’s still not sure she should now is the moment. He takes a few steps and panic settles in. 

“You are going to get into all of them. Don’t even doubt it” she says in a rush and watches him take a deep breath. 

“You really think so?” he asks as if he doesn’t believe what she just said. So like Peeta to not believe in himself. 

“I am sure of it” she says and passes him by walking fast. She feels like if something is tugging her back to where he is. Like she isn’t supposed to leave or to stay away but she fights it. She just keeps walking. She’s reaching the last row of desks with her silent steps when she hears him say. 

“I am sorry Katniss. I miss you.” She stops in her tracks at his sentence and hears him sigh tiredly. She looks back to where he is and stands there…staring at him. He looks tired and maybe even a little pale. He’s got dark circles under his eyes which hints her that she probably is not the only one not sleeping properly. He passes a hand through his hair and then watches him sigh again to finally start walking out of the class. She steps back enough to be out of his hearing and smelling range. 

When he’s finally out she takes a deep breath. She feels a pressure in her chest…like if something heavy is there…suffocating her…it even aches in a weird way. She doesn’t think she’s felt this before. But all she can think about is what he just said and that she understands. She sighs. 

“I miss you too Peeta” she’s never meant those words more than right now. 

AN. Thank you all so muuuuch for the reviews alerts and favorites! They mean the world to me and I will make sure to take all that you said and use it to improve the story or to encourage me more! Thank you again for taking the time! Here’s the new chapter! Let me know what you think! :) 

Oh yeah! And someone suggested I get a Beta…do you know where I can get one? Thanks again! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

You know the blow she was thinking about the other day? The other day that was seven weeks, two days and fourteen hours ago? Well, the blow made its appearance. The thing is the blow didn’t come her way. She never imagined she was going to be the one to give the blow. She doesn’t know she is about to destroy part of herself and that she won’t even realized it happened until later. Lame right?

The day that she gave the final blow to Peeta Mellark! The thing is that when she gets really mad she really doesn’t think before she speaks and as a consequence comes this. 

You know when you play with domino chips…you stand one next to the other and then you let one fall and it goes down taking down all of the other chips on its way? Well…that’s how this happened…one thing was the trigger and then everything came falling apart after. 

They are not on speaking terms not ever since the incident. Just the necessary words are uttered and from the day she heard him say he missed her she has tried to keep more distance between them. She is determined to act as if he didn’t exist, as if he has never showed her what life next to him is. She is determined not to miss him. He comes to class with a big smile on his face. After all those days of being glum and depressed she can’t keep herself from being intrigued by his happiness. Of course she feels happy that he is happy but…somehow it makes her feel sad too. 

He sits next to her in the class and remains quiet. Now that she doesn’t talk to him she likes to look at him, to really look at him. His eyes, his lips, his lashes…so blond that if you don’t look as closely as she does you probably would not know they are there. She sighs. Sometimes when she is looking at him and she gets that weird feeling she wonders why she stopped talking to him…she wonders if love is really as destructive as she thinks. 

He places a bunch of papers on the desk and slides them in her direction. 

She’s not sure if she likes this silent form of communication but her curiosity as to why he looks so happy takes the best of her and she takes the papers and starts reading. They all are letters from different colleges addressed to Mr. Peeta Mellark. That’s the moment she realizes that her acceptance letters must be arriving soon too. She didn’t realize that…that much time had passed. She looks at the letters again and in all of them she can read accepted, congratulations, outstanding and things that imply that he has been accepted in each of them. She understands his happiness now and starts thinking of a million of questions to make and of things to say but the thought of erasing him from her life strikes and she closes her mouth sliding the papers back to him. His face falls. 

Mr. Cinna comes to their desk and tells them that since they have not been participating actively in class like they used to he wants them to make an extra project so they can get back some points. “I don’t think that I have to remind you that for these kinds of projects you are supposed to talk to each other right?” he says as he gives Katniss a pointed look. It’s like he knows that she’s to blame for her glum depressed partner. “And I hear congratulations are in order Mr. Mellark! Miss Effie told me you have a hard choice to make. If it helps…New York is amazing!” he says as he leaves them. New York? Katniss knows she’s gaping but she can’t help herself. New York is possibly the farthest place he could choose out of the places he got accepted in. Her chest hurts. 

She stands up. She needs air. She needs to leave. 

“Katniss?” he calls for her she stops. 

“Congratulations Peeta” she says and starts walking out. When she’s at the door Alli is standing there looking at her surprised. She knows she probably does not look too good right now. 

XOXO

Peeta Mellark never gets mad. Well…it’s different when he is trying to act like an ass in order to get people away from him…than when he is actually mad. 

“Congratulations…that’s all she said!” he says as he moves his hands around. Yep, he is really mad. 

“You shouldn’t be mad because she just said congratulations Mellark…you should be glad she said something…”

“Congratulations…after I had the accident…I…”

“I know…”

“And now….this happens to me and I didn’t think I could be any happier…and then she says nothing…slips the papers back to me and says nothing! And then out of…a sense of obligation or hell knows what she says congratulations?!”

Alli stands up and hugs him from behind. 

“She has barely spoken to you in like two months or whatever….you shouldn’t have expected her to say something…and I do believe she wanted to say more you know? I could see it in her face…”

“Yeah…that works for me…” he sighs sadly. 

“Everything will be all right okay? Stop feeling so miserable all the time…this is good…and at least for a little while do not let your happiness depend on someone…It never ends up that well…when the other person…well…you know” she says and gives him a little peck on the cheek. He blushes. “It will be okay!” She hears a gasp coming from the door of the art room and she looks up. She drops her arms and stands up straight. She knows…that giving Peeta a peck on the cheek in that right moment…even if it was to make him feel better had been the worst idea that had crossed her mind so far. Talking about bad timing. 

“Sorry” says Katniss as she turns around to leave. 

“Katniss?” he asks and stands up…he starts walking out of the art room as fast as he can but she knows that he won’t reach her before she leaves at that pace so she takes his arm and rushes out of the class. “Katniss!” he yells and she stops in the middle of the hall. 

“Take a few more steps…she stopped…” she says and starts to leave when he takes her arm. 

“Don’t go far” he says and she squeezes his arm as a way of nodding. She steps aside and leans on the lockers. She doesn’t want to be here…she can’t go far…she promised. 

XOXO

The domino, one piece taking down the other ones until there’s nothing left to save, until there is nothing left standing up. It is a chained reaction. 

She was going to say something else. A congratulations for getting into art school in so many schools after he thought he would never be able to paint again…is just…extremely lame. She doesn’t know what she is going to tell him but she knows she’s got to say something else. 

When she arrives to the art room all she can see is red. Alli is hugging him from behind and delivering a peck on his cheek. He blushes…he even blushes! She can’t even hear or breathe or anything right now! She is fucking pissed! She was feeling bad about her reaction and him being glum and depressed and here he is…with Alli…sharing hugs and kisses and shit! How dare they? How dare he? 

She excuses herself, she doesn’t even know why she did…maybe she just wanted him to know she was there and that’s what she achieves because she can hear him say her name with doubt in his tone. He won’t get to her…she knows it and she doesn’t know if what she feels is relief or if she actually wanted him to reach her…to confront her. She hears him calling her and she stops in her tracks. When she turns around she sees Alli made sure he reached her. She murmurs something to which he only says: don’t go far and she gets, if possibly, more mad. 

“Katniss?”

“What?”

“I just…what’s wrong? Why are you so mad?”

“Why am I mad? You seriously have to ask that?”

“I don’t…”

“You…you just made my life complicated by showing up on it! I was fine before you came and turned it upside down! I was fine by myself…I didn’t need to worry about anyone else but Prim…and Gale…and then you show up and you just…And then you say you love me….And then…you kiss me! And then she kisses you! And…what the hell?”

“I knew that what had you mad was the kiss and the confession…But what does Alli have to do with all this?!”

“She kissed you!”

“So what? She gave me a kiss on the cheek…and from how you’ve been behaving lately I don’t even understand why the hell you are so mad!” She gapes. Alli’s eyes are wide but she remains silent. 

“I….I….just…” she doesn’t even know what to say. 

“Why does it matter anyway if she kisses me? What does it matter if we are something? You don’t care! You ran away from me! You cut me from your life…kept your distance and started acting like if I never existed just because you found out what I felt about you, just because I kissed you. I don’t regret you finding out…at least now I know that I don’t have a chance….you don’t have it in you to like someone!”

“That’s not true! I can like someone…I just…” She’s struggling for words and this kinds of situations are the ones when she usually should just shut up because she says the first thing that comes to her mind and she messes up things…which is exactly what she does with her next words “I just can’t like you…I can’t like someone like you” she says and just as it left her mouth she knows that that’s the moment everything blew up. His eyes widen, he pales….he gapes…it looks like he wants to say something but all he does is breathe in and his shoulders slump. He’s broken. “I…I…Peeta…”

“Yeah…ummm…you are right. The problem was not someone liking you…it was me…someone like me” and he says those last words with such a bitter tone that all she wants to do is reach him and hug him and beg for forgiveness because what she just said is unforgivable, because what she just said isn’t true. 

“No, I didn’t mean it that way I was just…” he just shakes his head. He doesn’t look good at all. The corners of his mouth are going down and his eyes are shiny. “Peeta”

“I want to go Alli” he says and the girl who was standing next to the lockers comes immediately to his rescue. She stands next to him taking his arm. Her eyes are wide too but unlike him they allowed a few tears it looks because her eyelashes have little drops caught in them. 

“Peeta please I just…I’m sorry” she can see the tight hold that he’s got on Allis arm. It must be a little painful but if it is the girl doesn’t say a thing. She just looks down breathing deep. He shakes his head. 

“Don’t” he says harshly. “I should apologize for my stupidity…for making you uncomfortable…for even daring to think…” he stops himself and tugs Alli’s arm. “Please…let’s go” he pleads and Alli nods. She starts walking and Katniss has to suppress again the need to go and pull him by the arm…to kneel on the ground, to cling to his legs if she has to and ask for forgiveness because she knows that what she said is unforgivable…she could see it in his eyes. Peeta hates his blindness and is always feeling less because of it and even when she always said she didn’t care about it that was what she used to break him, to break him in order to not break herself. 

XOXO

The word to describe how he feels right now is…broken. 

He gets up, showers, has breakfast, waits for Alli to walk together to school, goes to every class, ignores Katniss, studies, gets bullied by Cato, goes back home with Alli, avoids the center…avoids humanity. 

A normal routine would include Katniss and him chatting or going to the center together or something and not getting back home immediately after school. He loved to go to the center and his brothers and father loved the fact that he spent the majority of his time there…it was an excuse not to have to be in home with his mother lurking every corner. His mother looking for any excuse that could get her to hit him physically or emotionally. To her there was no difference as long as there could be some damage. 

She sure missed him. 

Every day there’s a new reason for her to hit him, push him, bump him, to make him trip with something or actually make him fall. 

His brothers talk him everyday into getting back to the center but fail. He doesn’t feel like going anywhere….he doesn’t feel like going to the center….a place that is so full of memories of Katniss…every time he thinks of her name or of something related to her it hurts. So he just avoids everything that could bring memories…and he avoids her. 

XOXO

He hasn’t been on the center for a couple of weeks now and Mallow and she miss him. So she decides that regardless what happened with him and Katniss (which she doesn’t know what it was because her sister keeps that as the best kept secret of the history of secrets) she had nothing to do with it so she’s going. She even takes little Mallow. The thing is…it will have to be a short visit because they can go to his house because his mother is out of town but they don’t know how long it will take for her to get back home and if she finds them in her home…she shivers a little at remembering that day at the bakery so long ago. 

When they arrive he is at the porch sitting with Alli. He’s painting it seems and he looks…well…he looks like accident Peeta but quite different. When Mallow runs calling his name he smiles, it doesn’t reach his eyes but he smiles. He hugs both of them and the warmth that she has always felt when being with him is there. Mallow sits in the porch to paint while she keeps chatting about all the things that have been happening at the center and how much she’s missed him. Prim studies him as she watches him having a conversation with the little girl. She feels sad. Peeta looks sad…and she knows it’s her sister’s fault. But she can’t very well go and say something to her because Katniss isn’t looking much better and she probably won’t say a thing. She’s an expert when it comes to avoid important conversations. Or conversations that she finds to be uncomfortable. 

They talk and talk and eat cookies and drink milk under Mallow’s petition. After an hour Alli tells them is time to go and that she will walk with them back to the center. In that exact moment they hear a car approaching and Peeta and Alli stiffen. 

“My mom!” he says. 

“Come on girls! We’ll hide until she gets into the house! Come on!” Alli says taking Mallow on her arms and pulling Prim by the arm. She loves that she doesn’t take her hand unless completely necessary…unlike Katniss who treats her like a little girl Alli treats her like a young adult. She winces; this isn’t exactly the best time to be thinking about this! 

They reach a tremendously big bush and kneel on the ground between the picket fence and the bush Mrs. Mellark won’t be able to see them. The car parks and she gets down. 

“Why are you sitting there you stupid boy?” she hisses as she stomps and reaches Peeta. 

“Nothing” he says silently. 

“It’s not like you could be doing something is it? Get in!” she says and pushes him roughly. Prim thinks that a push like that can perfectly well leave a bruise on its place. Peeta turns slowly and kneels to pick up his cane and book bag from the porch and she pushes him again causing him to bump his knee on the stairs making him wince. “Get up! Get in! Get in!” she says again and as he stands up she starts pushing him roughly into the house. As they stand up she sees that Alli has Mallow’s head against her shoulder preventing her from seeing. She couldn’t stop her from seeing and she can feel her eyes prickling with tears that are about to fall. 

“Why isn’t he going to the center? He used to do it to avoid her... why isn’t he avoiding her anymore?” she asks with a teary voice. 

“Too many memories Prim” is her answer and she places an arm over her shoulders. “Come on…we got to go” and as they are walking back to the center she keeps wondering what happened between her sister and Peeta that has made him come back home knowing that his mother will be this way with him. 

She only knows it must have been really bad. 

XOXO

Ever since they fought she goes to class or to the stairs every day in the hopes of finding him there. She wants to talk to him…but every time he gets to class or she sees him she finds herself unable to say anything. She can’t go to the art room to where she knows he spends lunch now because she can’t see Alli to the face. She blatantly accused her of doing something that well…she’s never liked Peeta that way and she feels ashamed of the way she did the accusation. 

They get to class in that right moment and she sees Peeta limp on his way to their desk. Alli nods and turns leaving the classroom that starts filling with students as soon as she gets out. She sighs. She’s never going to be able to talk to him. Not like this. 

She can’t help herself, she stares. She looks at him like she’s been doing these past weeks. He looks…he doesn’t look like himself. It’s not that his not him…he’s got those same beautiful blond lashes, his blue neon eyes, his blond hair that goes in any direction but looks perfect at the same time…

He is wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt today and she wonders why. As summer is approaching it’s been getting hotter and hotter. As she watches him through the class it doesn’t take much for her to realize why he’s wearing long sleeves. As he is taking notes his sleeve runs up allowing her to see an assortment of purple bruises on his wrist and on his arm. She winces. The awful woman has been hitting him again. Probably that’s the reason why he was limping when he got to class too. She wants to tell him something…go to Prim…tell someone…defend yourself…but she can’t. She can’t utter a word as her throat closes on her. She’s all chocked up and by the time she overcomes the emotions that seem to be chocking her he’s leaving. 

When she gets home that day she asks Prim how he is. She wants to know if Prim knows something about it…it’s the first time she asks her little sister about him because well…she knows Prim… 

“I don’t know Katniss…he’s not going to the center anymore…”

“He’s not? Why?” Prim shrugs her shoulders a little but Katniss knows her sister. She’s not letting something on. “Why Prim?” she asks again. 

“Too many memories? That’s what Alli told me…I saw him just once…we went to visit him the other day while his mom was out of town….he didn’t look that bad…Mallow was there so he was a little happy I guess…” Prim pauses and looks unsure…she fidgets nervously and looks sad, like she’s not sure she should say what comes next “He should be going to the center…his mom” Prim shivers and Katniss knows this is what she was looking for…she’s not very sure anymore if she really wants to know. “She came back earlier so we had to hide…if she saw us…it would have been like that day at the bakery…she hit him…she pushed him and he hit his knee…that woman is awful Katniss” Prim says with teary eyes. Katniss swallows the lump in her throat. All those emotions from earlier coming back full force. 

Too many memories of her. That’s what Alli meant…that’s why he isn’t going to the center anymore and that’s why his mom’s been hitting him more than usual. She stands up abruptly and runs outside, her eyes watering and threatening to spill more tears than she’s willing to allow. It’s her fault…that day at school with her words she had not only broken Peeta Mellark’s heart…she had managed somehow to break him physically too…she had pushed him to his mother. And as she cries outside with an aching heart she knows she not only broke him…she had tried not to break herself but by saying what she did and by pushing him away she had broken herself too. 

XOXO

His mom is not home so she’s here sitting at the porch with him. She knows he doesn’t want to talk about it but somehow it’s necessary. This thing going on between them has broken him more than she thought possible. And with his broken heart he has allowed now to be broken physically because of his mom. Many times she has wished to sue the woman…to call social services…to do something but he refuses. Since he respected when she asked him not to do so in regards to her step father she respects his decision now. But in al truth she’s not very sure of how many more bruises she can see on him before she takes action. 

They start talking. He needs it. She knows. 

XOXO

She hears them talking about the Everdeen girl. The sole mention of the last time makes fury course through her veins and she can see red. She storms out the door. 

XOXO

“What the hell did I just hear?” she yells. She’s furious Alli can see her face and she can see the fear in Peeta’s face. She is sure her face is as pale and as scared as his. “You’ve been a moping useless thing these last weeks because that seam trash rejected you? Of course she would…what did you think that she would like you? That she would see you as a man when you are nothing but a worthless piece of shit?” she yells. 

Alli is infuriated. She is scared as hell. 

“Mother I just…”

“Don’t you lie to me! Don’t you dare treat me like if I am stupid Peeta Mellark! I am certainly not and I know what I heard?! And you!” she points at Alli who is standing next to Peeta. “What are you doing here? Came to steal from my home? Take advantage of my stupid son?” 

“No Mrs. Mellark I just came to…”

“Don’t talk to me! What do you think? That I don’t know that you are some kind of trash too?” Alli can only gape. “I want you out of here! Out now! NOW!” she yells and grabs Alli’s arm with more force than necessary. 

“I am not leaving!” she says and plants her feet on the wood floor taking her arm out of the woman’s tight grip. “I am not trying to steal from you and I am certainly not some kind of trash! I am his friend! That’s why I am here and I am not leaving while you are like this so you can just hit him as you please!” she yells. She is scared…hell the woman looks like she’s going to kill her but she can’t leave Peeta alone now. Mrs. Mellark actually heard what they were talking about; he is in so much trouble. She can hit him pretty hard and she is not going to allow the awful woman to lay a hand or punch on him if she can prevent it.

The laughter is booming. The laughter is evil. 

“You are his friend? Please child! Who could be friends with a blind piece of shit like him? Who could actually want to be with him even as a friend if not out of pity?” she laughs again and this time it sounds meaner. It sounds colder. 

“I do” she says. Peeta has not uttered a word since all this started. He is just standing there pale and sweaty. 

“This!? This…thing is your friend” she says picking his arm brusquely and dumping it with hatred. “This excuse of a human being?” She punches his chest hard. “He can’t see!” She says pushing him hard again. The way she’s doing it is surely going to leave marks. “He can’t walk without that stupid stick! He can’t even defend you! This…is your friend?” she says as she pushes him a few more times. Alli can see that with each sentence she is pushing him closer and closer to the stairs of the porch. Peeta…oblivious to it and with the force of the hits just stumbles back and back. If Mrs. Mellark keeps pushing him he will fall. She walks with quick steps and stands beside him placing her arm on his back. 

“Mother Please…leave her alone…she’s leaving…she’s got nothing to do with this! It’s me you are mad at! Please” he finally speaks with a weak voice. 

“Shut up!” she says and punches his face, not a small slap, a punch square in the face that will probably leave a bruise. Peeta gasps in pain but just starts talking again. 

“You can tell me whatever you want…it’s fine…just please let her go! Not in front of her!” he pleads and Alli just wishes he would just shut up. She can see what’s coming and she prepares for the impact. 

“I told you to shut up!” she yells and with both hands she pushes him hard. Peeta stumbles a little and Alli can’t believe the look on the woman’s face as she sees her blind son struggling for balance. It is as if she wanted this to happen. She sees the exact moment Peeta loses his footing. She tries to keep him from falling but her size and his weight do nothing to help. He’s too heavy. She can’t support him and even if she is sure everything happens in a matter of seconds it takes a life time to hit first the stairs and then the concrete ground. 

AN. I am so sorry I took so long! Life’s been…interesting! I have half of next chapter already so hopefully I will post soon before life gets…more interesting! Blame it on law school! 

Anyway! I don’t know how long it takes for acceptance letters to arrive…mine took about a month or so…so I am sorry if it seemed too soon or too late… 

I hope you like the chapter and to hear from you! Thanks you for the reviews and everything else! :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

They somehow hit the stairs right in the middle and slid until they hit the concrete. She felt the stairs hitting her back in an awkward angle but what makes her scream is the weight of Peeta on her arm, added to the awkward angle, manages to create an amazing amount of pain. When they reach the concrete she squeezes her eyes shut and keeps her lips sealed preventing another scream from leaving her. She tries to get up but Peeta isn’t moving. Maybe the fall knocked the air out of him? She knows the impact knocked the air out of her. She’s gasping for air but she manages to take her arm out from under him.

“Peeta? Are you okay?” He’s not moving. He’s not even opening his eyes. “Peeta?” she asks again. But he doesn’t answer. She sits up cradling her arm and places her hand on his face slapping him softly. “Peeta? Please…open your eyes” she looks up, but Mrs. Mellark isn’t there anymore. His leg is out of proportion. “Peeta!? Peeta! PEETA!” she starts screaming because he’s not moving and she doesn’t know what to do. She realizes that he’s bleeding also, when she sees her hand covered in something warm, something m red. They fell too hard.“Help! Please! Somebody help me!” Mr. Mellark and the boys are still at the bakery. Mrs. Mellark won’t help. She has to do something. She stands up and gasps as the movement makes the pain in her arm, worse.

“Is everything okay?” she hears a voice coming from the entrance. It’s a woman and a man. He looks familiar. She’s Peeta’s neighbor.

 

“Please! Help me! We fell! I think he hit his head way too hard! His leg! He is not waking up! I tried but he’s not waking up!” she says desperately.

 

“Haymitch! Call an ambulance love!” says the woman, opening the gate and rushing to where they are. Peeta’s eye lids are not even fluttering like they do when he sleeps. She’s scared.

The woman opens one of Peeta's eyes and clicks a flashlight, guiding the light to it.

“He’s blind!” Alli manages in a whisper.

“I see” says the woman that with professionalism immobilizes his head with her arms as she explains to her that she has to do it to prevent further injury. They wait for the ambulance assured everything is going to be okay. She isn’t sure about that.

“Are you okay girl?” asks the man approaching her and she can only shake her head. She sees him look at her arm. “Let me see” he says and kneeling on the ground he examines her arm. “I am no doctor, like Maysilee over there but it feels as if it's broken”

“I am okay” she whispers. She takes Peeta’s hand.

“Everything will be alright girl” says the man again. She can’t stop crying. “What happened?” he asks but she can only shake her head. She is crying pretty badly she doesn’t think she can speak. The man called Haymitch places a hand on her back comforting her and pats her head. He keeps repeating that everything will be fine.

The ambulance gets here rather fast. They immobilize Peeta and move him to the ambulance as they walk her to it also. The woman kisses the man good bye and jumps into the ambulance with them. The paramedics seem to know her. She keeps checking Peeta’s vitals. She’s asking her too many questions. She can’t answer them…she’s in shock.  
They reach the hospital and a nurse takes her by the shoulders guiding her to a different place. She doesn’t even have strength in her to fight the woman. She only wants him to be fine.

They confirm that her arm is broken in two places and she will need a cast. They let her choose the color. She doesn’t even care.

She calls Mr. Mellark who gets to the hospital fast. The two boys enter next to their father, and start questioning her. She shakes her head that’s all she can do. Later as she’s sitting with Rye, Wheaton and Mr. Mellark in the waiting area Gale, Finnick, Annie and Johanna arrive. They all look worried.

The doctor comes out and says that he’s going to be okay. He’s got a broken leg. It’s already taken care of. He has a concussion too and he most likely will wake up any time in the next 24 hours, also he will be weak because he lost a significant amount of blood due to the cut he has on his head. Not enough to need a transfusion but enough that he will be pale and weak for a little while. He has to stay in observation for the side effects he may have. When they ask, the doctor says that he can have temporary memory loss, dizziness, vomiting, nausea, disorientation, lack of motor coordination and even balance problems. He’s going to be okay anyway and if they want to, they can go in one by one until visitor hours finish.

When the doctor leaves she cries harder out of relief. Finnick and Gale hold her until she calms down.

XOXO

She arrives home and dumps her game bag on the table. Gale stood her up. They were supposed to meet an hour ago in the woods but he never showed up. She goes into the bathroom to wash her face and hands when she hears Haymitch enter with fast noisy steps.

“Hello uncle!” says Prim. “I thought you were going out with Maysilee…” she says with a happy voice.

“Yeah…but when I went to pick her up something kind of happened!” he says and he is using a tone that Katniss is not liking at all. “Maysilee had to leave on an ambulance. There was an accident Prim…the boy from the bakery and the girl from the center” he says slowly.

“Peeta? Alli? What happened uncle Haymitch? What’s wrong?” she can hear the worry in Prim’s voice. She can feel dread course through her veins, coldness.

“I am not sure but the girl had one broken arm and the boy was unconscious, he hit his head pretty hard…was bleeding and all” he says and everything is a blur. Katniss stumbles backwards until she hits the wall and slides down. She falls on her butt,hard. Haymitch and Prim run immediately to where she landed and they see her on the floor gasping for air.

She is not sure…she thinks maybe she spaced out…she just knows she’s n the back seat of her uncle’s car and he is driving while looking at her in the mirror worriedly. Prim is holding her hand tightly and looks pale.

When they arrive at the hospital they both run inside never letting go of each other’s hand. When they arrive at the waiting room she sees Gale, Finnick, Annie, Johanna and Alli there. There’s Peeta’s dad and his brothers too.

Alli stands up and she feels like running. She walks over to them and stands in front of everyone. Katniss doesn’t know what to do. And looking at the way they're is looking at her…the way Alli, who knows what happened the last time they saw each other, is looking at her she just knows that running is the best idea. So without looking at Prim she turns around and starts walking fast to the exit. And that’s when she hears Alli’s voice boom.

“For God’s sake woman! Stop being such a coward!”

Katniss turns around and gapes. The girl standing in front of her doesn’t look like Alli in any way. Of course, probably her exhausted appearance, the blue scrub shirt, and the blue cast on her arm isn't helping her, but as she is standing in front of her she looks nothing but furious and determined.

“I just…I shouldn’t be here…I don’t know why I am here…Everyone’s mad at me…he’s mad at me…I don’t”

“Stop it! No one is mad at you! And most importantly he is not mad Katniss…he is hurt! And you are not leaving…you are definitely staying here and waiting with us because you are if nothing more worried about him than us…” Alli walks tiredly back to the seats and takes a seat far from the rest of the people waiting there. Katniss takes this as a sign and goes to sit with her while Prim goes sit with Peeta’s brothers.

“I really shouldn’t…he’s mad…he won’t want to see me…”

“He can’t really see anyone right now…he’s unconscious” Alli says looking down. “His mom…we fell…he hit his head pretty hard…they say he’s going to be fine…but we can’t see him yet” Katniss tries to swallow the knot in her throat.

“Oh…Well…then…I should leave anyway…”

“No! We are going to talk Everdeen. He’s not mad at you…he is hurt…What you said the other day…”

“I know…”

“Then why did you?”

“I just…I was mad…and when I am mad I don’t think before I speak…and I know that’s not even an excuse but…I didn’t mean it okay? I didn’t…I have never thought of him as his blindness for me he is Peeta…just Peeta….the kind boy that can beat anything…the kind boy who fed me when we were little and took a beating for it…the one who gave me hope! That is who he is to me…not someone blind…I have never cared about that!”

“Then…again I have to ask…why did you say all those awful things?”

“I…was scared…”

“Same reason why you pushed him away? Why you were pretending he doesn’t exist?”

She shakes her head and looks at Allie.

“My dad died when I was little…my mother…she became a shell of herself…she was never the same again…she left us to ourselves and we almost starved to death...I can’t allow myself to fall in love with someone because well…I don’t know what that is Alli…I just can’t understand those feelings…and what is worse, is…that it hurts…I don’t get it…but it hurts…and there’s Prim too and…I just…I am not right…I didn’t grow up right…” she says pulling at her shirt. She doesn’t know what it is about Alli that actually made her open up and say all these things. She looks up expecting Alli to be looking at her with pity or something like that but instead she finds a girl with a face that means she is thinking hard, and way too much about something.

“The way we have grown up isn’t the best…It was hard…I understand…trust me I do…I am not surprised that you don’t really understand how you feel when it’s obvious to the rest of us in the world…it does surprise me how much you have managed to screw up…” Alli says as she looks her right in the eyes. “Since you practically didn’t have a childhood and had to grow up so fast…you really never had any time to like boys and let emotions get to you…you had to be strong…you had to fight…you had to be your sister’s mother and of course you aced it…the thing is Katniss…that now that you are living with your uncle…now you can be a normal girl…now you can allow yourself to love and to be loved. Stop the denial you have surrounded yourself with…I know it scares the hell out of you…but you have to…you owe it to yourself…and most of all Katniss…you owe it to the boy in that room…” she says pointing to the hallway that she assumes to be Peeta’s room.

“I…”

“Hey! Katniss? Sometimes we need to stop analyzing things so much….we need to stop figuring out how we feel, stop thinking we know exactly what we have to do and just see what happens” she says slowly. Katniss nods and looks up, as Maysilee shows up waving her hand. They both stand up and go to where she is.

“Come on honey. I can get you in now…would you like that?” Maysilee says smiling warmly. She looks at Alli who just nods and goes back to where she was sitting, slumping. Katniss walks stiffly. She’s not sure if she’s prepared to see Peeta the way he is now. “This is the room honey! The nurses won’t bug you but please keep it short…his family has not seen him yet” says the woman placing her hand on Katniss’ shoulder as a way of reassuring the girl.  
Katniss places her hand on the door and pushes slowly. The moment her eyes land on Peeta, she feels like the air has been sucked out of her, out of the entire room. She feels like she can’t breathe and she can’t move all at the same time. But she is moving and actually breathing. She takes small steps never taking her eyes away from his face. He looks pale. He’s got a big bruise on his eye and it's swollen. His leg is in a big blue cast. All she can think about is not the fact of how weak and vulnerable he looks right now.

No, the only thing she can think about right now is…this is my fault. He stopped going to the center because of her…too many memories. He stopped going to the center and he started getting bruised because his mom started hitting him at home because of the time he was spending there and it was all her fault. She had seen the hints…the bruises on his arms…hints of something like this coming his way but she had been such a coward, not once had she allowed herself to think about talking to him again and keeping him away from the destruction his mother impersonated. It was all her fault. 

She walks next to the hospital bed. She kneels and she wishes she could hold him and tell him how sorry she is. All she wants to do is beg for forgiveness…how many more times is she going to break this boy? And break him not only emotionally but physically? She stands up because otherwise she won’t be able to touch him like she wants to. 

She places her hand on his chest and feels it rise and fall evenly. She takes his hand and moves his hair from his face. He’s real and he is here and she knows how stupid she has been right now. She stayed away from him because she was afraid of losing him and of what that would do to her…being so blind…blinder than he is because not once had she realized that it was too late already, that she already had him and he already had her…and that even if they were not together if she lost him…she would go crazy.

Fat tears roll down her face. She takes her hand from his chest and laces her fingers with his, tightening her grip on his hand. She places her head next to his on the bed and starts whispering, hiccupping.

“I am so…so very sorry Peeta…I am so so sorry…I was an idiot…I shouldn’t have said that…I didn’t mean it…I will never mean something like that” she closes her eyes as if doing that will stop the tears from coming but it doesn’t. It just makes the pain in her chest grow stronger; she lets out a heartbreaking sob. “I am so sorry for all the wrong that I’ve brought to you…for this happening to you…for breaking you…I didn’t mean it Peeta…I was just so scared…too scared” she opens her eyes and looks at him but his eyelids are not even fluttering. “I missed you too, you hear me? I’ve missed you every day since I stopped talking to you…I just couldn’t tell you because I was playing strong…but I can’t do it anymore! I thought that loving you made me weak…I thought that If I kept myself from loving you I would keep myself from being weak if something happened to you…but you know what? It was already too late…because I already loved you…and I don’t care if it makes me weak…you make me the happiest and the most afraid girl alive and I like it…and even when I don’t I will…because I want you! Please…” she can’t keep her eyes from him because she hopes that by telling him all this he is going to wake up.

But he doesn’t. She knows that she’s just blurting out everything that comes to her mind right now…she probably is not making much sense but if she doesn’t get it out, she feels like she’s going to explode! She brushes the hair from the side of his forehead and places a kiss there. Then she places one on his cheek and as she keeps looking at him slowly, she gets close…and as she’s wanted to do ever since he did it for the first time she kisses him on the lips. 

She opens her eyes and looks at him intently…like if with her stare only she can wake him up…like if the kiss should have made the trick…but the truth is…this isn’t a fairy tale…and something such as the prince charming waking up because the princess kissed him and confessed her love is not going to happen. The tears won’t stop falling and her heart won’t stop breaking until he wakes up. She knows she can’t stay any longer…it feels like she just got here but when she sees the clock it’s been an hour. She’s got to leave before someone comes, before someone who doesn’t know she’s here sees her and so she knows she’s got to run out of the room, not before kissing him again on the cheek.

Letting go of Peeta’s hand has never been more difficult and so as she leaves that’s the last thing she does, is let go of his hand.

XOXO

Rye is pretty sure that this is his mother’s fault. It’s not fair that after all the things that have happened to his brother now, he’s got to go through a hospital again because his mother couldn’t control herself. And this time…it wasn’t enough to hurt Peeta…she hurt Alli too.

There are some things in life that need courage. He suspects that today was the first day his brother stood up a little in front of his mother for whatever reason it was, and this is the way he’s paying. It’s been enough. No mother should be allowed to do that to her son.

When he gets into the room to visit his brother along with Wheaton they both gasp at what they see. Peeta’s not awake yet…but by the look of him…their mother had everything to do with the accident. Even when Alli won’t say a thing about it, they know. The big bruise on his face…a bruise that they are familiar with because they had it many times over is what gives it away. That and the bruises adorning his brother’s arms, and the fact that Peeta has not once fell from the stairs since he became blind. This was not likely to happen, like the doctor thinks it did. This says 'mother' all over the place.

“Enough!” Wheaton says with a strong voice, looking him right into the eyes and taking him out of his train of thought. “It’s been enough Rye…this is our fault…we knew he wasn’t safe at home with her there, and we allowed him to stay alone with her against our better judgment…this is our fault! But as much as it is our fault it is mother’s and father’s fault too.”

“What are you going to do?”

“She has to leave!” he says. And Rye has never seen his brother more determined than now. “If father doesn’t ask her to leave after this…I will…and if she doesn’t…I will call the authorities…it’s been enough…Peeta has been through enough”

Rye looks at Wheaton and not for the first time in his life admires his brother’s determination and strength. Yes, they have to do something. This can’t happen again…their mother won’t hurt Peeta again. And that is a promise.

XOXO

Peeta opens his eyes slowly. The light coming through the window is stinging his eyes. He feels awful. He feels like he’s falling. He can’t stop falling. He’s awake? Or is he not awake? He doesn’t understand. He remembers now! He’s sick and he’s got to look for pills in the cabinet if he wants to feel better. Groggily he gets out of his bed and shuffles his way to the bathroom. He takes the pills and he can only wish that on his way back to his bed he doesn’t pass out or stumbles upon his mom. Both scenarios have the same terrible ending in his pounding head.

He’s unlucky, because as he’s going out of the bathroom he feels faint and starts losing balance toppling over someone. That someone…is his mom. He doesn’t remember clearly to this day what his mom was saying as she hit him for falling over her. He knows this is a memory now. She keeps yelling and hitting him and the only thing he can think about is that he’s going to sleep right here and right now…and his mom can keep hitting him because everything hurts anyway and it doesn’t make a difference.

Suddenly he hears Rye’s voice out of nowhere yelling too. He stops feeling his mom’s hits on his body and when he manages to open his eyes Rye’s there covering him.

“No mother! I am not leaving!” yells Rye. That voice. He closes his eyes. Rye’s voice is morphing. Sometimes it doesn’t sound like him…sometimes it sounds like someone else. He opens his eyes again but he can’t see a thing, he knows Alli is there. He can’t see her but he can hear her.

“I am not leaving” she says too and suddenly he’s not anymore on the floor with Rye over him…he’s on the porch and his mom is there…and Alli is there and now he remembers. Everything turns black.

He opens his eyes. This time he thinks it is for real because he can’t see a thing! He tries to scream but he can’t. His breathing is shallow…he feels like he can’t get enough air into him. There is no sound coming out of him. He tries to move but he can’t…he just feels the cold sweat all over him, tears streaming down his face because he can feel the hot trail on his cold skin. He’s immobilized but he’s struggling to move. Little whimpers…that’s all that comes from him.

“It’s okay…It was just a dream…you are okay” says the voice while a finger rubs circles on his hand. Someone moves the hair that’s sticking to his forehead, and the touch is so smooth that it soothes him and he can feel himself start to relax. The same smooth touch removes the tears and he leans into the warm soft touch.

“Alli?” he croaks out.

“It’s me…” she says. But the hand holding his is not hers. He knows this hand and is not Alli's, he just knows.

“Who else?” he manages to say and the hand on his stiffens. The other one on his face stills. The silence is deafening.

“It…It’s…me” says the voice and he doesn’t know what to feel.

“Kat…Katniss?” he barely manages to get out. What is she doing here? Why is she here?

“I…Peeta…I…” she’s not taking her hand away from him and he’s not even sure if he wants her to let go of his hand…if he wants her to let go of his face. “I’m sorry” that strikes him.

“I am sorry? For what, Katniss? For telling me what you think? Because you just told me what you thought, you are not supposed to apologize for that” he says sitting up abruptly, as weak as he feels he still manages to do so. Immediately he feels nauseous and probably both girls can tell because immediately there’s hands laying him down again and he hears movement.

“If you want to throw up just turn on your side I placed the waste basket there okay?” Alli says.

“I should probably just go” he hears Katniss voice and somehow this just doesn’t make it better. He doesn’t want her to leave…he wants to yell a little more to her. He needs to somehow take out all that hurt he felt while she pushed him away…all the hurt he felt when she said that all those weeks ago.

“Yeah, because leaving and pushing people away from you is what you do best isn’t it?” he says bitterly. “I am surprised you didn’t leave the minute I opened my eyes…I couldn’t see you…you could have left…that way you would not have had to say with someone like me”

“Peeta” Alli says in a warning tone.

“What?! It’s the truth!” he says and he doesn’t know if it is the exertion or what, but he feels even more nauseous laying down and yelling than when he sat up.

“This isn’t good for you…you just woke up” says Katniss in a quiet voice.

“Now you are worried about me and how I feel?” he snorted “Really?”

“Peeta…I’m sorry…I am…please just let me…”

“Apologize? You want to apologize? I don’t want to hear it” he says. He just wants her to leave…because on top of everything that has happened to him…he doesn’t need Katniss faking concern or faking apologies.

XOXO

Alli leaves the room quietly giving her, before slamming the door, thumbs up and mouthing be brave.

She doesn’t know what to do. Her instinct is telling her to run but she´s already seen how that hurt him. She’s never doing that again on purpose.

“She left?” he asks and his voice is broken. And that allows her to know that he doesn´t want her to go, he’s just hurting.

“No” she says “I didn’t leave. I am going to talk to you and apologize and you are going to listen to me” she says seriously but she feels like crying. She’s trying really hard not to cry.

“Just go” he says quietly.

“No” She repeats.

“Go, Katniss! Just leave me the hell alone! Go! I don’t want to listen to you” he says and stubbornly tries to sit up again. He looks green and falls again on the bed.

“Well….I will say what I have to say…and it’s up to you if you forgive me…after I finish telling you what I have to say…the ball will be on your court” 

She looks at him but he just keeps breathing hard. He doesn’t say a thing and so she takes this as a hint to start talking.

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have said what I said…and not only because it hurt your feelings but because I never meant it. I never! Not even once saw you as your blindness…I don’t see you like that! And…I just…I…got angry! I was angry…and…I won’t ever say it again but I was jealous…and then you were there and…I just…I don’t know why I said it okay? I just know that you make me think about when my dad died and my mom became a shell…and if something happened to you…I couldn’t do that to Prim. But it was already too late! Because even If I didn’t want to admit it, which I didn’t want to do because I was afraid of hurting, you were already in me…and I am not my mom! And I missed you too…and I still miss you every day that I am not with you…and just when I had convinced myself that I didn’t need you…that you didn’t make a difference this happens…and I thought that if something really bad had happened to you…I would just…I would just…” she stays quiet recovering her breath. She doesn’t know how she managed to deliver all that…she doesn’t know how she’s going to deliver all of the other things that she wants him to know. Even if it implies blurting things like she just did.

“You wouldn’t have said it…if you didn’t mean it…it didn’t just came out of you like that Katniss…deep inside you were thinking about it…and that kind of explains why you pushed me away so many times…” he says slowly.

“No! Peeta, please!” he keeps shaking his head and as she see the tears building in his eyes desperation rears its ugly head.

“Just leave Katniss…really…” he says in a defeated tone.

“No! I won’t leave! Please…I’m sorry…I’m sorry I said that…and even more I am sorry that I wasted all that time trying to suppress a feeling and trying to push you away because I was afraid….because I didn’t want to hurt like I am hurting….It was such a waste of time! But I am here now! And I…I want you to know that…I love you too”

“Please” he begs tears on his eyes. “Don’t…you don’t…”

“I mean it! I think I have since we were kids…since before I knew you were you! I remember Peeta! I remember that day in the alley…I was ready to die…right there and right then…and then you helped me…a stranger! Someone you barely knew…and you gave me hope and I survived because of you!” she says and she places her hands on each side of his face. “I never…not once stopped thinking about the boy who had saved my life…about dandelions…about neon blue eyes and a red cheek welt…not even once! And then I found out it had been you…and…I just…you…”

She can’t find any more words. She can’t think of any more words…  
Peeta shakes his head in her hands. She can’t blame him for having a hard time believing what she’s saying. But she’s desperate now. She doesn’t know what else to do to make him believe her. So when he starts saying something again…probably asking her to leave she just kisses him. She kisses him tenderly and slowly just like she did when he was asleep the first day she visited him. She is shocked when she feels him answer the kiss and when they part she looks him into the eyes.

“Please...I will leave if you want me to…but please…just promise me you will think about giving me a second chance…that’s all I am asking for…a second chance…I know I don’t deserve it after all I put you through, but please…”

He stays quiet and she takes this a no. Defeated she opens the door and leaves. 

XOXO  
“Please...I will leave if you want me to…but please…just promise me you will think about giving me a second chance…that’s all I am asking for…a second chance…I know I don’t deserve it after all I put you through, but please…”

After that kiss…he doesn’t really understand why she is asking him to think about anything at all. He’s dazed…he feels dizzy…and right when he hears the door slamming he feels nauseous.

He gets out of the bed and feels pain shoot through his leg. He limps to the door trying not to use his injured leg and reaches the door gasping. He feels dizzy, nauseous and ready to faint.

“Katniss” he manages to get out. He doesn’t really know if she’s still there but he can’t lose anything by calling her.

“Peeta?” she asks and he can hear her voice next to him, but like she’s on the floor.

“Don’t go…” he says grasping the door like his life depends on it. “Don’t go…” he repeats again and right when he starts to topple over he feels her hands holding him by the shoulders. Next thing she is placing his arm over her shoulders and embracing him, walking him back to bed. He doesn’t really get how she can be so strong because he knows it can’t be an easy feat to help a guy his size get back to bed when he’s barely standing. When he’s back on his bed there’s nothing but silence…maybe getting up was too much when he just woke up from that fall, because he feels weaker now that he’s under the covers again. His eyelids feel heavy and he’s sure that any second now he’s going to fall asleep…it doesn’t matter how much he is fighting it. 

“Don’t leave me” he says. And as he starts losing consciousness he feels the small hand taking his.

“Never again” she says and he finally drifts off

AN. I am really sorry for taking this long! I hope you enjoy the chapter! The story is coming to an end…did you see it coming? There are still many things that need to happen but not many chapters left…so expect them to be long! Hope to hear from you guys! 

Thank you readers so much for your support and thank you sooooo much to my dear Beta Bedazzlequeen! She’s just awesome for putting up with me and my numerous mistakes!!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

“Please...I will leave if you want me to…but please, just promise me you will think about giving me a second chance…that’s all I am asking for…a second chance. I know I don’t deserve it after all I put you through, but please…” her eyes watered at his lack of response. She understands that he doesn’t want to give her a second chance, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting like hell. She can’t breathe so she walks out of the room slamming the door behind her.

She stands next to the room’s door and leans on the wall, sliding to the ground sitting on the floor pulling her knees closer to her body. She feels like her heart is falling piece by piece. She wishes she didn’t feel that way…she looked for it. She pushed him away, she treated him bad, and this is what she’s getting. She deserves it. She places her forehead on her knees and is surprised when she sees the tears falling, turning the fabric of her shirt a shade darker when they reach it.

She hears the door open and looks up surprised. Peeta’s there, gasping…he looks unstable and a little green. He calls for her with urge.

“Peeta?” she asks standing up.

“Don’t go…” he says grasping the door like his life depends on it. “Don’t go…” he repeats again and right then, he starts to topple over. She places her hands on his shoulders to steady him, and next thing she passes his arm over her shoulders and embraces him. It is ridiculous how she feels by his proximity. How could she ignore this feeling so along? She walks him back to bed; it is not an easy feat since he’s barely able to walk. Most of his weight is on her but she manages just fine. His eyelids are heavy; his eyes closing slowly but opening suddenly like he’s fighting sleep.

 

“Don’t leave me” he says. And it hurts her that he’s asking this…because she gave him the idea that she would always leave. He doesn’t know that she can’t, not now that she knows how she feels. She takes his hand.

“Never again” she says and he finally drifts off.

She stays a long while there, just holding his hand, brushing his gold locks and crying. She knows this doesn’t mean she’s forgiven…he just can’t let her go. But, that’s a first step isn’t it? Maybe this means she’s going to get that second chance, and this time she won’t be stupid. She will earn his trust, she will earn his love, and she will earn Peeta.

After some time in comes Alli and tells her that the nurse is hunting her again. She’s coming this way and they have to leave before someone sees them and goes on telling. That could end up with them being banned from the hospital and since they don’t know when Peeta is being released…they can’t allow that to happen. She squeezes his hand and places a small kiss on his forehead and leaves the room with Alli, promising that she’s going to be back as soon as the nurse forgets about them.

XOXO

She knows she’s got to make this fast. She saw the two girls leave…but they probably won’t take long. She’s got to make this fast and it will last. She smirks.

She gets into the room and sees the boy in the bed. Sometimes she wonders where her motherly feelings went when it comes to this boy. She can’t bring herself to feel…more than just some sense of hatred towards him. Maybe it has everything to do with him being his father's image. All from the kind eyes to the kind demeanor is him. And yes, she once loved the baker with all her heart but being someone’s second choice never went well with her, poor boy having to pay for her hatred. He’s never been to blame…but somehow she can’t stop herself. She comes close to him and sees the cast outlines under the covers and the big bruise on his cheek where she hit him. She shakes him in order to wake him up. He must be under some kind of medication because usually when she did that he would wake up at once, shivering a little. That was the reaction he got from her. She shakes him again and this time he starts drowsily opening his eyes.

“Katniss?” he asks and she can’t help to laugh out loud.

“No, It’s me…wake up at once I don’t have much time” she says and she smiles when she sees him stiffen on his bed.

“Mother?”

“Who else?” she asks with a mocking tone. “You didn’t actually think that the girl would stay with you, did you? Of course not, she just came out of pity…probably to make you feel a little better. But what happens when she gets tired of her pity and dumps you again? Will you turn in that sad excuse of a human being again? A moping mess with no real reason or purpose in life?” she asks and she watches his face drain of all color, well the little color he had left. She smiles. “A girl like that one can put up with you only for so little Peeta…I am so sorry that you are going to be left again…so so sorry” she says.

“Why are you here?” he asks and his voice is more a whisper than anything.

“Your brothers asked me to leave the house. That means not having to put up with you so of course I agreed” she says with disdain. “I just came to say good bye” she says simply.

“Oh” is all he manages, but the way his shoulders are slump tell her that she’s managing just fine with the “make him feel miserable” goal that she had set up.

“I hope you find someone to put up with you now, that not even your own mother could” she laughs “Well, of course…no one will put up with you for long. Especially not that girl that probably sees you as a hindrance…blind…not being able to do anything…what good are you? No good of course. Good luck Peeta” she says and watches him for the last time. She slams the door close and leaves. She did what she came to do and now she can go away as happily as she can. She still wonders why it took those ungrateful boys so long to ask her to leave. Well, they could not have chosen a better time.

XOXO

He can’t get back to sleep after his mother’s visit. He just doesn’t feel okay anymore. His chest hurts so badly and he wants to cry so bad that he is having a hard time breathing.

He’s not sure if it was a dream or not. Did Katniss say she loves him? Did she apologize? Was she the one to put him back to bed? Or had it all been a dream? Or as his mother had said…was it all out of pity? He knows he is wallowing on his misery, but he can’t feel anything else right now. Not after that good bye. Not after those words. He closes his eyes. He just wants to sleep, and maybe forget all those things his mother said, but deep inside he knows the words to be true.

He probably dozed off because the next thing he feels when he wakes is the warm little hand on his.

“Are you awake?” she asks and he nods slowly. If he moves too fast the dizziness and nausea may come back and he can’t afford that to happen. He feels nauseous and dizzy anyway. “Do you need anything?”she asks.

“Water” he mumbles. He feels a straw to his lips and he drinks steadily. When he finishes, he sighs.

“Are you feeling better?” he nods.

The silence is awkward. When he woke up the first time thinking it was her…he was feeling all positive and happy. That finally she had said all those things to him…things that he could only dream of. But after his mother’s words…his feelings were nowhere close to that initial feeling.

“Are you…are you sending me away?” he shakes his head. Her voice sounds pained. But he can’t help thinking about what his mother said. She came to say good bye…all right, but she came also to give him her final blow.

“You asked me for a second chance…do you…do you still…”

“YES!” she yells desperately and he nods. 

“I just…” he can’t speak. He feels the big knot in his throat that he can’t shake away.

“You need time?” she asks pained and he nods. “Okay” she answers and he hears as she’s picking up something. The last thing he feels is her lips on his cheek and then the door slams. Next thing the door is opening again. Maybe she came back…?

“You just asked that girl for time Mellark? What the hell?” Alli’s voice booms and he knows he’s up for some Alli speech.

XOXO

As she’s walking out of the restrooms she gets the impression of seeing Peeta’s mom out of the corner of her eyes, but when she turns to see properly, she’s gone. Maybe she wasn’t even there. She shakes her head and reaches the room just as Katniss is going out.

“Katniss?” she asks.

“Hi” answers the girl with a sad intent of a smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just…he needs some time so…”

“He’s hurt Katniss everything will be okay…just give him the time he asked for…and maybe some space. I assure you it won’t be too long!” she says winking and squeezing the girl’s shoulder, Katniss smiles and nods. It’s up to Peeta now. She just has to wait.

Katniss leaves and she sighs. Sometimes it is really hard to be so optimistic around people when it comes to their issues, when you can hardly be optimistic about your own issues. She opens the door and enters. Peeta is deep in thought.

“You just asked that girl for time Mellark? What the hell?”

“Yeah” he says and the sad down turn of his mouth tells her that it pains him as much as it hurts the girl who just left. Something’s wrong. She just knows. 

“Make it quick, okay?” she says and he tries to smile.

“I’ll try”

XOXO  
“Yeah, he’s okay! Don’t worry about him…he will be getting out of here soon”. He can’t hear the person on the other end of the line. He suspects who it is. “Don’t worry about it! Yeah, the Doctor said that he’s getting out when he stops being a fall risk…the dizziness and nausea will pass soon, it was a big fall” he feels her eyes on him. “Time…time heals all kind of wounds…and effort…you need to earn a lot of points on many departments” she laughs out loud “I know! This is going to earn major points I swear! Is she there? Is she ready?” Alli asks as she sits next to Peeta on the bed nudging him with her casted elbow. The cast scrapes his arm but he says nothing. He can’t complain…it is his fault she’s got a cast after all. He couldn’t protect her.

“Miss Katniss pass me up!” he hears from the other end of the line. “Please Miss Katniss I want to talk to him!” whines the little voice. He hears a soft voice and a shiver runs up his back. “Helloooo? Mr. Peeta? Are you there?” yells the little voice and he chuckles.

“Hi Mallow” he smiles softly.

“Mr. Peeta…they said I can’t go see you because I am too small, I am not small I am a big girl can I go see you now?” she asks and his heart warms.

“I’m sorry Mallow…there are rules that need to be followed in places like this…but I am getting out of here soon and we will see each other!”

“You promise? Because I am sad when I don’t see you…” she says with a sad tone.  
“I know I haven’t been on the center lately Mallow I am sorry” he says “But I promise I’ll be going more now okay? I don’t want you to be sad, do you understand?”

“I understand Mr. Peeta…but you will come to make Miss Katniss happy too, won’t you?” she asks and he stays silent. Alli laughs next to him he knows she’s probably shaking her head.

“What do you mean?” he asks feigning ignorance. He knows Katniss is there with the little girl.

“She’s been sad too, Mr. Peeta. I think it is because she wants to see you too but she can’t. You are sad and she is sad. Why don’t you make each other happy?” asks the little girl with sincerity and Peeta sighs.

“I have to go Mallow…Call me back some other time okay? Hopefully I will be able to see you soon!”

“Bye Mr. Peeta. Get well soon!” the little girl replied and he hung up.

“I wanted to talk to Katniss, you know? You didn’t have to hang up” Alli says.

“Sorry?” he replies 'looking' somewhere else.

“She’s sad…and you are sad. Why don’t you make each other happy? That girl is brilliant isn’t she?”

“Shut up Alli!”

“I was just saying….she’s right though…”  
“Alli!” he said in a menacing tone. This time it was his turn to squint at her.

“I know you told her you needed time to sort things out. And it is completely understandable but…Mellark, stop hitting around the bushes, you love the girl…she finally told you she loves you. What the hell are you waiting for?”

“I just…I’m scared. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to forget what she said, it keeps booming in my head. She’s going to get tired of me and she’s going to leave…I can’t see Alli, what good am I?”

“Peeta” she says squeezing his arm, he wonders whether he should tell her or not what’s been chocking him for the past days. “Who the hell told you that shit?” she says angry and he sighs. He might as well share it with Alli.

“It doesn’t matter…it is true! She found out about the accident. She came to apologize and to make me feel better. But she will be leaving soon again. I can’t…I couldn’t ask her to…” he sighs. “You saw the mess I was when she pushed me away the first time. And so far we had only been holding hands…and well…that one kiss. Can you imagine what I am going to become when she gets tired of me and leaves again? How I am going to turn out of that…after knowing what it’s like to be with her?”

“Love is about taking risks, Peeta. If you love that girl…then it doesn’t matter that you are scared, you know she is too, maybe you’ll be the one to get tired of her. Who knows what is going to happen? But…are you seriously considering keeping yourself from knowing what it’s like to be loved and what it’s like to be with her just because you are scared?”

“I…”  
“You can’t…because it’s worse living with the doubt…living with the could’ve been, so think about what I said okay? I got to leave before Nurse Mary comes here…she’s going to kick my ass for trespassing again” she sighs.

“Not living with doubt is worth the pain, Alli?” he wonders aloud. She sighs and plops down on the bed again.

“I think so Peeta. I don’t…what brought this on? Why are you so scared? Does your mom have anything to do with this?” he sighs. She knows him so well sometimes that he gets scared.

“She came over the other day. I don’t know how she got in…she came to say goodbye. She says my brothers asked her to leave and so she is going to. I…asked for Katniss when she woke me up…”

“What did the witch say?” she asks and her tone is sharp and full of anger. “Come on Peeta, she didn’t come just to say goodbye…I know so.”

“She…” he remembered too clearly what she had said. The moment he woke up thinking it was Katniss, everything had been so perfect. Too perfect, he was pretty sure she was forgiven the minute she had kissed him. But...his mom made sure to leave a lasting impression on her son. She screwed him up, one last time.

“What did she say?”

“She…she asked me if I actually thought that she would stay with me. That Katniss had come out of pity to make me feel better…and when she got tired…she would dump me again. That I would probably turn into a sad excuse of a human being after she left me…again. A girl like Katniss can only put up with me for so long…that she was sorry I was going to be left again.” the pain in his voice is evident and the anger radiating from Alli is palpable.

“That sounds…so much like what you told me before…what else did she say?” she urges him to keep speaking. He feels all kinds of broken inside. Because as much as he hates it…his mom was right…he knows it. He manages to get out the last part, all those things that have been chocking him ever since he woke up after Katniss's apology.

“That she hopes I find someone to put up with me, now that not even my own mother could. That Katniss especially wouldn’t be the one, that I am probably just a hindrance…blind…not being able to do anything…” he chokes a little. He starts to cry just remembering what she said. He breathes raggedly. “What good am I? No good” he answers in a whisper and he hears Alli sniffing a little. He feels her hands on his cheeks.

“Erase all that from your mind Peeta Mellark” she says and her voice is cut by a ragged breath. “You are none of those things…no one sees you that way but that awful woman. So don’t you dare think of yourself as that!” she says and he lets out a sob. “She is not right, okay? She is not!”

“But I do think she is” he says and he feels lame for not being able to contain his tears. It’s like keeping it inside he could hold it in, the despair and pain at her words the other night…he had managed to hold it in like a dam. And now that he’s told everything…that he’s managed to get it all out, it has proven to be too much. The pain and despair spread in him like a disease. Like a wound that won’t ever stop hurting. All because….as much as he hates to admit it…his mother was right. He lets out a sob.

His mother had come in today just to give him a last blow before she left. She probably came in hoping to break him beyond repair. And she had done so. He lets out a sob and looks down, hiding his eyes with his bangs, hiding his face as much as he can. He feels broken inside, it chokes him. He’s never felt so much pain before. Realization at the truth that held her words.

“How can you?” she asks and she is openly crying now. “Why?! Why can’t you look at yourself like we all do?” she asks. “Peeta, please!” she says and he feels her hands on his face again. She’s wiping his tears but they won’t stop flowing. They won’t stop because this is the day he finally realized what a dreamer he is, and how easily a dream can be lost. “Please…calm down!” she says again and the door opens.

“I told you visitors hours are over young lady!” he hears Nurse Mary's voice boom in the room and he flinches.

“I can’t leave him like this!” she says and holds him, probably blocking the nurse’s view of him.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Do you need something, honey?” she asks concerned and he feels Alli’s head shake. It sounds like she will allow it because next, the door closes softly. She’s the only person who closes the door instead of slamming it.

“How can I make you see? How can I make you believe me, Peeta?” she asks holding her own tears. He just shakes his head. Probably no one, he’s convinced now. Suddenly she lets go of him and then he hears the door slamming. He wipes his tears but they don’t seem to stop. 

XOXO

She knows she has to control herself. Crying with him won’t exude the strength he needs right now. She breathes and manages to stop the tears. He won’t believe her. Why should he? It’s not her opinion or her who he needs to hear things from. She knows she has to call Katniss but if she calls her crying, the girl will freak out so she takes one last deep breath, and calls.

“You have to come over” she says over the phone, controlling her teary voice and she hears Katniss stop breathing on the other end of the phone.

“What happened?” she manages to get out. Her voice is thin.“Is Peeta okay? What’s wrong?” she asks again and Alli sighs. She gives her a summary of the conversation she just had with Peeta managing to control her voice and tears. Katniss says she’s coming as fast as she can. She was at the center so she’s going to ask Gale for a drive. For the first time since she ever met Katniss she likes that the girl is so strong and can keep her emotions in check in moments like this, because she sure is having a hard time…and if something breaks her, it’s seeing that boy inside that room crying, sobbing… broken.

After all he has been through, always mad or always happy was a good thing compared to this…seeing him broken is the worst thing she’s ever had to witness and she needs to fix it. She needs him to believe in himself. She needs him to trust…and only Katniss can do that!

XOXO  
She’s walking as fast as she can to Gale’s house. He can take her faster than the bus to the hospital. She has to get to the hospital.

As she passes Mellark Bakery she sees the boys talking to their mother and she loses it.

She crosses the street and gets into the bakery before she can stop herself. She pulls Peeta’s mom by the shoulder in order to turn her around. The woman opens her mouth…probably to insult her or tell her something that includes seam slut but she can’t. She doesn’t let her as she corners her.  
She’s always thought that the Mellark brothers including their father are big men. She’s never believed it more than now. One strong arm closes around her waist and she thrashes trying to get to the woman. The other brother stands in front of their mother but not in a protective stance just to stop the woman from coming to her.

“How dare you!? How dare you go to the Hospital!? Why did you tell him all those things? Wanted to land a last punch before you left?!” she screams and the woman’s eyes widen as the two boys turn to look at her.

“Did you go to visit Peeta, mother?” asks the one that’s got his arm around her.

“Yes, she did! She told him as usual that he was useless that no one would put up with him just like she didn’t…she told him tons of things that only managed to…to…” she wants to cry but not out of pain or hurt or anything. This is usually what happens when she’s enraged. “After all you have done to him! How could you go and tell him all those things!?” she yells again. And to her surprise and the boys, she starts laughing. It’s a cold laugh that causes chills to run up her back.

“Cry baby is he? He went and told you about it? Asked you to come here and defend him because he can’t?” she asks and the boys glare at her. The one that’s got her around the waist let’s her go as the other brother steps aside. They both stand there looking at the two women.

Katniss takes a few long strides and stands in front of the woman. She wishes with all her heart to punch her but she knows she can’t, so the closest thing she can do is threaten her with something. She turns to one of the boys and looks at a rolling pin on the oldest hand. She knows it's the oldest because he looks older. She takes the rolling pin and brings it fast close to the woman’s face. She knows she won’t use it, but the woman doesn’t.  
“If you so much as to come close to him again to hurt him…not only physically but you come and tell him something to hurt him…I will make you pay! Did you hear me? I am never allowing you to hurt him EVER again!” Peeta’s mother has lost her smirk and is pale and shaky as Katniss waves the rolling pin in front of her. Good, Katniss thinks. Feel what they probably felt their whole lives as you threatened them with this same thing!

She turns around handing the oldest brother the rolling pin. Both boys are smirking and nod to her as she leaves.

“Where are you going?” asks the youngest brother.

“To the hospital” she says and throws a hateful glance towards their mother.

“Did something happen?” asks the oldest.

“She happened” She answers simply and starts walking again. 

“I’ll take you” says the youngest and they walk outside. Normally she wouldn’t agree to it, but she cares more about getting to Peeta right now. She allows it.

They get into a truck.

“Rye Mellark” he says extending his hand. Katniss looks at him and is surprised by how much they resemble each other. Rye Mellark exudes the same kind of kindness Peeta does, it must be a family thing. His hair is less curly and he’s buffer than Peeta and taller too, but the eyes are completely different. Peeta’s eyes are unique. 

“Katniss Everdeen” she answers extending hers.  
“I know” he says as they shake hands. “You are a brave girl, I think I will like you as a sister in law” he says laughing as Katniss blushes more than she has ever done so before. This ride will be a long one. She sighs.

XOXO  
There’s a knock on the door and he stills in Alli’s arms. That’s where he’s been for the past half hour, crying his heart out like a baby. He wipes the tears fast and feels Alli release him from her embrace. He doesn’t want her to go. He needs warmth and comfort now more than ever. But as she leaves him and the door opens there are arms around him again as fast as Alli’s released him. But these arms are not Alli’s. He knows that smell.

“Katniss?” he asks choking a sob.

“It’s okay” she says “Everything will be okay” and as he leans his forehead on the crook of her neck and she whispers comforting words into his ear while she holds him, he believes that everything will be okay. It may not be that way right now but everything will be perfectly fine in the end and with time.

AN! I hope you enjoy the chapter! Thank you to my awesome beta! Thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites! Thank you so much for keeping up with me this long! Hope to hear from you!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

The drive to the hospital has never felt so long. It’s got to do; not only with her urge to get to Peeta, but of course with the smiling boy driving.

Peeta's brother is similar to him physically; she had thought so before, but there’s a remarkable difference between the brothers. And it's that Rye is a tease.

He parks at the emergency and turns to her. “Go ahead,” he says smiling. She gets down and as she runs inside, she sees the car driving to the parking lot.

She winces when she sees Nurse Mary at the nurse’s station, but the woman only nods at her; and that tells her that Peeta must be really bad.

She gets to Peeta’s room and stands at the front of the door. She can hear muffled voices, with that she opens the door. Peeta is in Alli’s arms. He’s tense, like a coil that’s wrapped too tight. Alli sees her and separates from him nodding to her. Katniss approaches because she can’t wait any longer, she takes long desperate strides to where he is and holds him, engulfs him with her arms and her heart breaks as she feels him start to shake in her arms.

“Katniss?” he asks choking a sob.

“It’s okay,” she says “Everything will be okay,” and as he leans his forehead on the crook of her neck, she whispers comforting words into his ear, swearing to herself that she’s going to make sure that everything is going to be okay. It doesn’t matter what it takes.  
His shaking doesn’t stop and she knows it’s because of the emotional turmoil that is surely going on inside him. He is probably going to be shaken up for a while… she wishes she could stop it. She wishes she could find a way to take his pain away, and make him all better, but she knows it hardly is going to happen. If anything, she can help him get better, but not fix him at once. No one can be fixed at will.

She rocks him and brushes his hair as a way to calm him down, but when the shaking does not lessen, she thinks of Prim and how after her father died she would wake up shaking after a nightmare. How she wouldn’t stop shaking afterwards and how she would rock her, brush her hair and hum to her. Not sing…after her father died she did not like to sing…but it always worked. Prim calmed and fell asleep, and she thinks that it can work with Peeta too. So she starts humming.

She feels him relax against her…his face never coming out of the crook of her neck. She hears him sigh and she smiles knowing it must be working. And she knows it did when she hears the even breathing and more weight propelled against her. It’s not comfortable but she doesn’t care. As long as he needs her, she will be there for him. She’s not leaving this time; she is not allowing anyone, not even himself to push her away from his side. This time, she is going to be there when he wakes up.

XOXO

His head aches like crazy. It probably was because of the crying…he fell asleep crying. Somehow the pain embedded in his chest at the beginning after his mother’s words sunk in has diminished considerably. 

There is a small warm hand in his. And somehow this last fact strikes him giving him a sense of calm and safety.

“You awake?” she asks and he nods slowly. He clears his throat.

“Yes”

“Do you feel better?” she asks and he nods again slowly. He is not entirely better…he is not fine…there are some things that leave marks on people, he is pretty much covered in marks…scars…some that run too deep to be removed just by the girl next to him. Everything takes time, and he knows that in time, he will be okay.

XOXO

“Do you feel better?” she asks and she knows that’s one of those questions that sound stupid the minute they leave your mouth because of course, the answer is obvious but he nods and that makes her feel better.

“You came,” he says and it’s barely a whisper.

“You needed me,” she answers simply brushing his hair from his forehead. She knows that he has not forgiven her…she even thinks it’s not a matter of forgiving but of forgetting what she said and what she did. She knows because he doesn’t look very comfortable right now, and she knows the reason. “If you want me to leave…I will but…I came to tell you some things that I think you need to hear. So you will listen to me, and then I will go…okay?” She says but he only shakes his head. She is furious because, even though he is right to still be mad he will hear her. Damn it!

“You don’t…” he starts to say but never finishes as she interrupts him.

“I don’t care if you don’t want me to!” she says and takes a deep breath. “I didn’t come out of pity the first time; I didn’t come out of pity today, okay? I just…Peeta I need you to understand that it doesn’t matter how many doubts I had, and how long it took me to understand how I felt. I am pretty sure of how I feel now and I want you to trust me. I want you to believe in me and to really give me that second chance I asked for…”

“Katniss…I just…you don’t…” he quiets and turns his head towards the window.

“I know you are scared. I know your mother didn’t help with all those stupid things she came to tell you…that’s why I am here Peeta…don’t believe for a second any of the things that she said! The only person who can confirm what she said is me, and I won’t because it’s not the truth, do you hear me? Give me the chance to prove her wrong Peeta…because I sure as hell will!” she takes his hand and leans her cheek against it. Peeta sighs, she sighs. How could she doubt the feelings? How could she doubt what she felt with him and for him? It wasn’t her imagination. “Let me Peeta…please?”

 

He laughs a little. It doesn’t reach his eyes but he is laughing and that is good. She knows it's good. “Thank you for saying all of that, but you should’ve just let me talk Katniss” he says shaking his head. “I was trying to tell you that you don’t have to go Katniss…I don’t want you to go” He says ever so slowly with a small smile. He looks unsure. It strikes her as odd, how easily he can say what he feels when it costs her a lot. She knows it is part of him and she knows that’s one of the things that she likes about him.

“So, you will allow it?” she asks, and she can’t help the hopefulness her tone denotes.

He nods with a small smile on his face. “I could never say no…I don’t want to say no…” He says with a little blush. He still looks unsure…nervous…like if expecting her to bolt at any minute. But she’s not. She knows it will take time to gain his trust again…it’s going to take time for her to prove that what she said is real and that's what she claims to feel is real too, but she’s got no doubts now…that she’s going to be able to do it. Like Alli said; she owes it to him, she owes it to her!

“You all better Mr. Mellark?” asks Nurse Mary from the door with a small smile on her face. Peeta gives her a little smile. “Then, I will have to ask you to leave Miss. It is not visiting hours” she says pointing her watch. She sighs standing up and whispers an “I’ll be back” before walking to the door. As she’s standing at the door she remembers.

“Oh, and…you’re way too good! Blind and all…you are way too good and you can do anything you want…you should know by now! And If you don’t…I am going to prove that too!” she says waving even though she knows he can’t see her and she leaves. At least she’s leaving until nurse Mary goes to lunch or the bathroom and she can sneak in again.

XOXO

Memories are a funny thing. There are many memories that get lost as time passes by, and there are some other things that just refuse to be forgotten…that refuse to get lost. And so they just keep hurting you.

Even when he’s full of those memories, and even when he still gets nightmares about them, all of his life he’s fought through them. He always has tried to scare them away and to be as happy as he can be. Being positive his policy, and what helped him get through his mothers beatings and insults.

When he had the accident it was like the optimism he always carried around to protect himself from the bad memories and the bad things had transformed to dust. It was no longer there and so he had become the person he always tried to avoid. But now…it was different. Somehow through all the things that had happened in the last months he had started to build the barrier again…not letting anything take him down. Well, not anything until he had the huge fight with Katniss and until his mother had showed up to say her good bye. Those memories still haunt him nowadays because he can’t get rid of them. They are exactly the kind of memories that refuse to get lost. But that he can protect himself from, and that’s what he’s been working on.

“One thousand and one?” she asks a little shy. He gets startled, coming out of his thoughts. Katniss has been coming every day, ever since they had the talk. Sometimes for a while and sometimes for a couple of minutes but she always comes. She’s trying. He’s trying. He can’t help but smile at that.

“What did you say?” he asks again.

“Thousand and one?” she asks and there’s a little irritation in her voice. Even if things are not that awkward anymore, they were at the beginning and the thing is that…she can’t really let go of what she did. He knows she punishes herself for her words and everything but in all truth he never blames her.

“Sure” he answers.

“Do you think you will be able to forgive me?” she asks. And that confirms his suspicions. So he sighs and he tells her what he’s been thinking all this time.

“I think it’s not a matter of forgiveness Katniss…you were pretty much forgiven the minute you…” he blushes, he’s sure he is blushing “Kissed me…” he says clearing his throat as if that is going to push the embarrassment away. “It’s not you, it’s me”

Katniss snorts at that “Yeah, sure…it’s not you…it’s me…”

“No, really! It’s not a matter or whether I forgive you or not, you are forgiven…but, the mind is tricky and…even when I am convinced that you are pretty much forgiven I can’t forget” he says sighing. “I have to forget Katniss…and If I do not forget I have to keep those memories at bay…what you said…what my mother did and said..It’s a matter of me getting over things…of trusting again…” he smiles ruefully “I just….need to forget, but that will take time, and in the mean time…I think…if you want to, we should just do what we agreed to do” he says slowly and as he says it he dreads her telling him that she was wrong…that whatever she said before she regrets it now and that she doesn’t really want to. 

“Try?” she says, he can tell by her voice, that she’s smiling so he smiles because she finished his thought, and because she wants to try.

“If…that’s okay with you…if you think you…”

“Okay," she says and he feels her sitting next to him on the bed. “Your turn,” she says. She’s just sitting next to him but he feels warm and calm and every single good thing that you feel next to someone you have feelings for.

“We were like…in the nine hundreds you know? What is it with you and skipping numbers?” he asks teasing her and he hears her smile. He’s having a hard time believing that this smiling and sometimes affectionate Katniss is the same one he met last year when they finally met for real.

“I am not patient” she says smiling “I guess I just want to skip numbers to get to the important ones…that’s what I do with books too”

“Spoil the ending?”  
“Oooh no Peeta” she says and she takes his hand. “It only makes it better” and he knows she doesn’t mean that just for the books. He smiles. Maybe it will take time for him to forget all of his mom’s words, to get over the girl’s words but he knows that with her by his side…trying to make him trust again, he’s going to make it in no time.

“Only better” he says and smiles.

XOXO

She’s walking to the hospital room. It’s been two days since she last saw him, and she misses him already. It’s funny how ever since she acknowledged her feelings for him she seems to be more in peace with herself. She’s even learned to enjoy the moments she spends with him, she sees him differently now too.

She screwed him up big time. And she knows he’s going to have trust issues for a while: not only for her pushing him away, her words but by his mother’s words. She knows she’s going to have to rebuild it little by little, but she’s not bothered by it. She’s actually looking forward to the day he finally believes her. That she’s with him for good.

He is so easy to be with, that she actually thinks there’s no way she’s letting him go. She gets mad and he knows how to make her happy again. She hates that every time she gets mad he makes her laugh but…that’s just the way they work.

He’s not perfect. He gets mad too…but not to the yelling level. She knows now that he’s got two levels of angry: quiet angry that shows in his eyes and his tense body, and speak up angry: that yells and says everything that’s on his mind. Personally she loves the yelling angry but…to be honest…quiet angry isn’t that bad.

She gets into the room and sits in the chair next to Rye, who is watching cartoons.

“I’m getting out of here tomorrow” he says happily. After a whole bunch of days being in the hospital, he’s eager to get out; she knows he’s desperate by now.

“You know, if you would not have wrestled with Rye, you would’ve gotten out long ago, don’t you?” she says smiling.

“Yeah…yeah…blame it on me! Rye did it on purpose!” says Peeta and laughs a little. He forgets he has a cast on his leg, so the other day when Rye came over they started some kind of wrestling match that somehow got him drenched in water. They had not used a plastic cast in the hospital so as a result: the cast after getting wet started to get lose and kind of dissolved. When he got up to go to the bathroom later that same day, the nurse realized it only when the thing started falling off of his leg.

Nurse Mary had forbidden visitors for a couple of hours after that. They had to take x rays again and to make sure he had not hurt himself again, or in a different place in the leg. The doctors and Mr. Mellark wasn't happy. Wheaton only shook his head as Peeta and Rye laughed of it.

“Oh yes, because you didn’t want to wrestle me” says Rye, and Katniss sighs. She’s getting used to the Mellark brothers, she’s got to now doesn’t she? They are there most of the times she visits, and she’s got to be honest…even if she sighs or glares at them she kind of loves them. Especially Rye who keeps calling her “sis” every time he sees her, he calls Prim sis too.... they all fell in love with her after she was introduced the other day. Prim spends most of her time now, at the bakery with Mr. Mellark. “So stop playing victim Peeta”. He laughs. “Well children, I got to go…there’s a beautiful girl waiting for me at the nurse’s station” he says as he winks and leaves the room. They think he’s gone but suddenly his head pops back with a smile, “Behave kids!” and at those words she feels the blush creeping up on her and she can see Peeta’s face all red.  
She sighs and shakes her head. She goes to sit next to Peeta on the bed. She takes his hand intertwining their fingers. A little gesture like this one, a gesture she never thought she could’ve possibly wished to have with someone, is something she enjoys doing. The look of contentment that washes over Peeta is worth it every single time.

“I brought you something” she says as she stands up reluctantly and reaches for her bag pulling out a piece of paper and placing it in his hand. He moves his fingers expertly over the paper and when he finishes, he smiles.

“I won’t give you any reasons as to why I like you. There’s no real reason behind that. But if you ask me to leave you, I will give you a million reasons as to why I will stay by your side” He reads aloud. “Who is that one from? You usually write the author” he says.

“It’s….I wrote it” she says and she feels her cheeks burning. She once told him that no one read what she wrote, and she meant it. She’s no good at expressing herself aloud and too shy to express herself in written words but…he’s special. And most importantly she felt like doing it.

“Thank you” he says with a shy smile.

“I just…this is a heads up” she says serious “I can’t express myself very well…this is probably going to be the way I will do it, okay?” she says and she hears Peeta laugh.

“Okay, I understand” he says but he’s struggling to suppress his laugh. She gets annoyed.

“I didn’t tell you so you could laugh at me,” she says and she crosses her arms over her chest. For some reason this bothers her. Yep, she’s not changed one bit.

“Don’t get mad” he says and moves his hand touching her shoulder and moving it down her arm until he finds the tip of her braid. He tugs at it softly and that makes her turn to look at him. “I would’ve never expected anything else of you Katniss, that wouldn’t be you…besides you don’t have to worry about that” he laughs once more "I will probably say enough for the both of us, that’s got to make you worry”.

She’s pretty sure that once they get back to how they used to be with the added label of them being “together” now…she’s going to have to worry. But she can’t wait, and that surprises her because she never thought she would think that way.

XOXO

Life is different without his mother around. Ever since he got out of the hospital, his life has been more active, even if his leg isn’t helping much with the being independent thing. He has to be with someone every time he goes out because using crutches doesn’t allow him to use his cane. And using one of the crutches as cane is dangerous, as Alli made him see when he accidentally hit her in her cast and after he hit Prim, Rue, Finnick and almost hit Mallow. The last one thinking it was a game, giggled when Peeta hit the other ones.

Katniss is around all the time. And…frankly he loves it. There’s not been another talk about feelings, forgiveness or anything else. But he’s okay with that. It actually helps him not to think about the bad things. She occasionally brings the slip of paper with a phrase written by her or by one of her favorite authors, and he has to admit that he loves the fact that she says what she feels that way. They are not a couple, and he is aware of that. But he will change that and soon.

Rye and Wheaton say it’s stupid of him to think they are not a couple when they certainly look like one, but it’s not the same, actually having the claim over the other person changes everything. As much as he doesn’t like how that sounds it’s the truth.  
It’s amazing how the presence of a person in your life can change it so much. He doesn’t think it’s very clever to base your happiness on a person. But then again…he’s never been much to think when it comes to feelings. When it comes to feelings he allows himself to be guided by his heart. And besides his happiness as of late, even if it’s mainly constituted by Katniss includes all the people that he’s close to. Sometimes, he even dares to thank his blindness for the amazing people it brought to him.

XOXO

She can see that he doesn’t want to be here but she doesn’t care. She promised him she was going to show him that he could do anything and part of that is doing what he used to do. Painting was just the first thing…and she’d done it! She’d gotten him to paint again; she could make him bake again. Besides that was his second favorite thing.

They are in the kitchen and he’s standing in front of the counter. All the ingredients are on the table too, with enough space to make whatever they want to. Peeta’s dad said it would be a good idea to start with some cupcakes…it was just a matter of mixing everything. She can’t screw that over so she thinks it’s a great idea to start with cupcakes.

Everything is on top of the table but he still doesn’t look comfortable here. It bothers her because when he could see…when she saw him through the windows baking with Prim he always looked so at ease…so at his element, and now he just doesn’t…and she suspects it’s got everything to do with his mother. She knows because every time the door creaks as someone gets into the kitchen he visibly pales and winces. It is as if he’s expecting the woman to come into the kitchen and yell or hit him.

“She’s not here anymore…you can do this” she says softly squeezing his hand. It’s sweaty and cold. He must be really nervous but he nods at her words and start working.  
It’s easy to forget with his now easy smiles and his kind disposition, how broken he is inside. Every person is broken in some way but some are so obvious, so open about it (just like her) that it strikes her as odd that he actually is so good at hiding it.

She’s so caught up in her own thoughts that when she looks up it’s already too late. His hand knocks over the cup with the milk and it falls, making a mess, wetting the table and Peeta’s hands as he fumbles trying to fix whatever he did wrong.

“It is okay” she says as she takes a rag and starts cleaning the mess. She turns to look at him to smile in reassurance. Even though she knows he can’t see her, she somehow thinks he can feel it, but when she looks at him he is looking down. He is pale and his hands at his sides are shaking. 

“Peeta?”

“I’m sorry” he says mumbling.

“Nothing happened,” she says taking his shaking hands into hers. “Everything is okay Peeta.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats and she gets angry at how bad he looks for just spilling milk.

“Nothing happened. Come on.” She says handing him another cup of milk to pour into the mix. He takes it but does nothing. “Come on. You can do it.” She says and places one hand on the mixing bowl as she guides his other hand to pour the milk. And it is like she broke the spell. He sighs as if breaking the trance and allows her to keep guiding him. She’s aware of the small shaking that hasn’t completely left his hands but she’s sure they’ll get there.  
He’s good at hiding. But she makes it clear in her head that she won’t ever forget, no matter how much he hides it that he’s still broken inside…and that even though she’s broken in her own way, she’s going to help fix him.

XOXO

It’s odd how when you spend so much time with a certain person, you can get tired of them. But with Katniss it is different. The thing is, he likes to think that they are making up for the lost time.

“When are they removing your cast?” she asks, she sounds like she’s eating. She’s probably nibbling one of those cheese buns again. He smiles.

“The doctor said I can go visit next week on Wednesday, he’s said he's going to check my leg and see if it has healed enough to have it removed…why?”

“I’m just thinking about the things we can do when you can actually go outside,” she says thoughtfully.

“I’d like to go out, I know you are going to get tired of me pretty soon if we keep spending every afternoon inside this house.” he says huffing.

“I won’t” she says squeezing his hand. “Don’t ever think that, okay?” He nods. Her tone is authoritative and he knows better than to answer back. “So you are feeling trapped in here?” she asks and he nods. “That can be solved!” she says and he just hears her leave.

An hour later Katniss is back knocking on his door. He knows it is her because she always knocks the same way, as if to let him know that it is her.  
“I’m sorry I took so long” she sounds winded. Like she ran all the way from wherever she was to his house.

“It’s okay,” he smiles and Rye who actually answered the door laughs beside her.

“Let me! I will help you” he hears his brother say and she agrees readily. “Wheaton! I need your help!” Rye yells and Peeta wonders what is going on so he asks.

“It’s a hammock” Katniss answers and explains him that Haymitch has one on the backyard and he replaced it a couple of weeks ago for a new one leaving the one she brought without use, but that it’s in good shape and that she doesn’t think they are going to have problems with it. That she saw the two big oaks in the backyard and that she knows it will work just fine. Her voice sounds like she’s beaming.

Rye and Wheaton spend the next half hour placing the hammock in between the two trees. And when it’s ready, they go inside leaving both of them outside in the backyard.

“Here” she says placing him where she needs him to be. “Now sit down” she says and he does. He feels the counterweight next to him and he knows she’s sitting next to him. “I’ll help you with your leg,” she says and he feels her pulling the casted leg and placing it on top of the hammock.

The weight seems to have been misplaced because the hammock swings and brings them together and although it makes him nervous he can’t help but to sigh at feeling her so close to him. Katniss is nervous too, he can feel it…because she’s stiff next to him. Maybe she didn’t try the hammock before and didn’t know that it would bring them together when they would get into it…but as they can’t seem to have some distance between them as they are lying there, they start struggling to move.

XOXO

Maybe bringing the stupid hammock wasn’t such a good idea. As they both sit on it and she helps him place his leg on the hammock, they are brought together on it. She feels herself go stiff as they collide. Every part of her that touches him feels like it’s on fire.

He must have felt her uneasiness because he starts struggling to get up but he weights more than her and he can’t get up properly because of his cast and so she falls on top of him. Wind knocked out of him he gasps and then starts laughing.

“I’m so sorry” she says horrified at first, because she knocked the air out of him but as he starts laughing she can’t help but to laugh too.

By the time they both stop laughing she realizes they are in a comfortable position. She’s lying next to Peeta as her head rests on his shoulder. She can smell the cinnamon, sugar and…she also smells Peeta and she loves it. She sighs and nuzzles into his shirt covered chest enjoying the scent.

They both sigh. And she knows that there’s no way any of them is moving right now. He takes the tip of her braid and toys with it as they lie there and start comfortable conversation. After a while they both fall asleep.

XOXO

She opens the letter and reads over it fast. She doesn’t know how to feel. Everything is finally falling into place…that things are perfect.

They are not starving anymore because their uncle Haymitch is taking care of them, he is happy with Maysilee and she bets they will get married soon, Prim is happy, she even has something going on with Rory. She made new friends and she found Peeta. Lost him and she got him back again. Everything seems to be perfect and now this letter arrives, and it’s not a bad thing…she just doesn’t know what to do, she doesn’t know what to think of it because of what it means.

It shouldn’t be a big deal, it shouldn’t…but it is.

“Katniss! Peeta is here!” yells her uncle Haymitch from downstairs. He loves Peeta, he calls him boy, and that’s how she knows he loves him. Sometimes she suspects that he loves Peeta even more than he loves her... and she is his niece.

“I’m coming!” she yells back placing the paper sheet on the bed. She looks at it out of the corner of her eye.

“Congratulations! I am pleased to inform you of your admission to…” 

She places the pillow angrily over the letter as if hiding the words is going to change anything. It doesn’t make a difference. As she walks down the stairs and she sees Peeta there, talking to Haymitch waiting for her. The only thing that is on her mind are the words on the letter, words shinning in front of her eyes even though she isn’t reading the freaking letter anymore, she can’t forget them…and she wonders why is she this scared.

XOXO

The cast is off and the therapy is on. He just can’t seem to be able to catch a break. She’s helping him walk as therapy every day, and so one of his brothers bring him to her house and they walk for a little while making conversation or just enjoying each other’s company. Normally he makes conversation and Katniss keeps up with it, today it’s different. Something’s different and he doesn’t know what it is.  
“Is there somewhere we can sit around here?” he asks.

“Yeah” she says and after she’s led them somewhere and they sit he hears her sigh for the…hundredth time.

“A thousand” He says “What’s wrong?” 

“Noth…” he shakes his head. 

“Something is wrong…what is wrong?” he asks again gently. He knows that pushing her is not the best thing. He’s learned it over the weeks.

“I just…I got a letter in the mail. New York…first choice.”

“Acceptance letter?” he asks and she says yes.

“What is wrong with that?” he asks but he only can think that New York is pretty far.

“I…don’t know, I just…I could stay here you know? I don’t have to go anywhere else. I will go to the community college and find something there and I just…I don’t know.”

“Why would you do that?” he asks seriously and he hears the anger in her voice as she answers.

“Isn’t it obvious? Don’t you want me here?” she asks.

“Katniss…” he sighs. “Just because I am going somewhere close to town it doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Prim is not an excuse either, she is perfectly fine now. You can go wherever you want to go and it’s going to be fine.”“So you don’t care if I leave!” she says, he can hear the pain in her voice even though she’s making a good job at trying to hide it; slaps her thighs roughly, he feels her stand up. “Great! Good to know! Come on…I want to go home!” she says, angry, and he sighs.

“Katniss,” he sighs but he doesn’t stand up so he knows she won’t leave. If he’s being honest, he wishes she didn’t have to go somewhere far. Somewhere where he won’t be able to be with her every day, but that's the thing about loving someone: you want them to be happy, always. It doesn’t really matter if you are not with them, as long as they are happy. “I know you are scared Katniss…I don’t want you to take it out on me." he sighs. He knows he can read her very well, he knows she doesn’t like it, but he has to tell her everything he thinks before she makes the wrong decision and so she is informed as to what he’s feeling so she won’t think that he doesn’t care that she’s leaving…which frankly is crazy! 

“We are talking about your dreams here. About the things you want to achieve and Katniss…as much as I wish I could spend every day of the rest of my life with you. I want you to be happy and to achieve what I know you can achieve. So I won’t hold you back…I would never do that.”

“I am scared” she admits after a long silence. He feels her sitting next to him. “I am scared for Prim…and I am scared because I don’t want to break my promise,” she says slowly.

“Prim will be fine Katniss…she’s got Haymitch and Maysilee. My father, Rye and Wheaton love her! She won’t be alone; we are all going to take care of her! I am sure she’s going to understand if you break your promise to her.” he says. He feels her fingers intertwine with his.

“The promise I am talking about isn’t about Prim…I…I promised myself I wouldn’t leave you again…and this is…I just-”  
“You won’t” he smiles. Inside he feels like he could cry out of how much she’s admitting she cares about him. 

“This doesn’t mean you are leaving me, we’ll find a way to make it work! We still have the whole summer! So you don’t have to worry about anything ok?” he says and she sighs. She stays silent a while longer and then he feels her squeezing his fingers.

“Will you wait for me?” she asks in a pleading tone.

“Always” he answers squeezing her fingers back and placing a kiss on her hand.

AN. I am oh so very sorry for how long it took me to update! Seriously! Please don’t be mad! Real life basically took over all of my time and I just couldn’t write! My classes are over now and I have two months so basically…this hiatus thing won’t happen ever again! 

I hope you guys are still out there and willing to read the story! It is coming to an end so I hope you star for the rest of the ride! As always thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and alerts! They mean a lot to me! I hope to hear from you this time!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

They have so little time left. Not that he is counting…but he is. It doesn’t really matter, it is like people say: it is better to know than to wonder. And now he does know what it is like to be with Katniss Everdeen. He knows how to make her laugh, the kinds of laugh she’s got, he knows what makes her mad and how to get her get un-mad. It is not perfect, because none of them are perfect, but he is happy. And he suspects that she is happy with him too. Not that she has said anything because she hasn’t, but he knows she is.

Being happy is a state of mind. Or at least that is what people say. He doesn’t really care. it doesn’t matter how many times she gets mad and how many times he has to go and make her happy again he does it, just because he can.

The problem with his new found happiness is that with humans, well…we are greedy and we want more, always more.

That leads us to him waiting for the perfect moment to ask her to be his girlfriend, and then the now dreaded kiss.

It’s not like he hasn’t gotten a chance to do both things but he has been too much of a coward to do it.

It is not like he hasn’t kissed her before, but it was under different circumstances and now he doesn’t know if he is going to be able to kiss her properly, or if he is going to make a fool of himself.

In one word he is scared.

But he is going to do it. He is.

XOXO

Maysilee is getting married to her uncle at the end of June and she is happy for them but she can’t understand why, oh why on earth are they forcing her to wear the awful forest green dress. She feels like a badly dressed doll.

Anyways, aside from that her life has been awesome lately. She is with Peeta and she is happy. She fights with him from once in a while but he always knows how to get her happy and laughing in no time. She sometimes even gets mad at him for making her laugh when she is supposed to be mad but it never lasts too long.

She really likes him! And her only regrets are: 1. Why did she waste that much time before? and 2. Her lack of courage on stealing a kiss from him.

She knows guys are supposed to be the ones initiating things but she suspects Peeta is scared and well, she wants the freaking kiss right about now!

She has been living the past weeks out of the memory of their first kiss and well, she cringes. She ran away so it is not a happy memory and it is not the way she wants to remember kissing him for the first time.

Geez! She didn’t know relationships were that complicated.

XOXO

Peeta is at the bakery today taking orders and doing the things he can do while there. His father and brothers allow him to do many things and he feels useful. That is awesome. It has changed him a lot. Sometimes he even works in the kitchen making bread and other stuff that he is so good at making that people has been specifically asking for his bread. Long gone are the times when Peeta felt like he couldn’t do anything.

She doesn’t have anything else to do so she is here at the bakery being good company to him while he works. She is sitting in the floor behind the counter next to Peeta with her legs crossed, a book in her legs and an amused smile on her face.

It has been going on for a while now. The girl came in with all her long legged, busty, blond and green eyed glory and after buying a muffin she stayed. Her name is Glimmer Davis and the girl has no shame when it comes to flirting.

Alli knows that Glimmer knows that Peeta is blind. But that doesn’t seem to be stopping her from flirting the way she is. It is funny because in Peeta’s defense he is dense and he didn’t really get that she is flirting. Suddenly he blushes and she knows…in that moment he realized and now he is ashamed. He turns his eyes to his side as if looking for help but she just bumps his leg with her feet as if to inform him that she is still there and keeps laughing. She is not moving a finger to help him. She wants to see how he gets out of this.

Things get more interesting as suddenly she sees Katniss across the street standing with Prim, Gale, Johanna, and Finnick on the other side of the street. She is glaring and positively fuming. There is no doubt that Katniss is looking at the scene. Glimmer is flirting to Peeta still oblivious to the girl on the other side of the street. If looks could kill, Glimmer Davis would positively be dead. The rest of the crew looks troubled and like they are talking to her but Katniss just shakes her head as they talk to her without looking elsewhere. Her eyes are focused on the scene in front of her. On the girl precisely.  
Glimmer laughs loudly; it pierces her ears and brings her attention back to the situation inside the bakery. Glimmer places her hand on Peeta’s bicep. The kid is built, there is no surprise in the fact that she wants to touch the muscle that is obvious as the sleeve of his shirt clings to it as if the shirt isn’t the right size but it is.

Unfortunately for Glimmer Katniss sees this and finally snaps. She crosses the street with longs strides without turning to look if there’s a car coming from one of the sides of the street. She opens the door of the bakery with so much force that it slams against the wall, the little bell tolling wildly. She swears she can see fire on Katniss’ eyes. She can only think that she doesn’t want to like ever get her mad at her if it implies the obvious imminence of death. She is keeping her distance from Peeta now.

Katniss walks behind the counter bumping on Alli as she walks that way, no hard feelings, she bets Katniss didn’t even see her. Katniss reaches Peeta and stands on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. Immediately after she sneaks her hand into his and hugs him with her free arm.

“Hi! I am Katniss,” she smiles sweetly as she speaks and turns to look at the blond girl. “Peeta’s girlfriend.”

Peeta's jaw drops but it is amazing how fast the grin widens and takes over his face.

Glimmer is not happy. She looks furious. She lets go of Peeta and straightens. “Nice to meet you Katniss.” she answers. Then looks at Peeta and smiling she tells him “Well, I will see you around later Peet,” she turns around and leaves.

As she is leaving Alli sees the rest of the crew standing at the door. They surely heard the whole exchange because as soon as the door is closed they all start clapping and laughing and whistling. She, of course, joins the fun. Both Katniss and Peeta are blushing, Katniss still looking kind of furious, but happy beside him.

They decide to have dinner close by and as they divide in three groups, they start walking. The biggest group walks ahead talking about everything and anything. Next are Peeta and Katniss who are walking quietly side by side and finally Prim and her who are walking behind Katniss and Peeta exchanging looks from time to time. It is amazing how easy is for her to communicate with Prim, without having to actually speak.

“So, you are my girlfriend?” Peeta asks quietly

“Well, yeah” she answers and both Prim and her shake their heads while sharing grins. “And you are my boyfriend. I didn’t hear any complain when I told the blond bimbo back there that you are mine,” she says matter of factly and sounding angry still.

“That’s…I am... yours?” Peeta stammers.

“Well, yeah," she answers again and both of them are blushing now and so much that aside from being funny it is also sweet to watch.

“Okay,” he answers and extends his hand to the space between them. Katniss takes it and he brings it to his lips planting a kiss there.

They are an odd pair, but Alli has never seen any of them happier.

She guesses that is what love does.

XOXO  
She is shocked by her reaction and her bluntness, at practically asking him to be her boyfriend.

It’s just that seeing that blond bimbo all over him had made her lose it.

Maybe it was about time anyway, that she claimed him as hers.

He is positively happy with the idea. She can see it on his face. So that is how she knows that; even if it was out of jealousy, it was the right thing to do.

XOXO

Prim Everdeen is happy too. Because she’s looking at her sister right now as she is laughing at something Peeta is telling her. Her eyes shining in a way Prim has never seen before.

She is happy with Rory but it is not the same. What Peeta and her sister have…she sighs. It is different and not only for the loving way he looks at her but doesn’t. Or the carefree way she acts now, like she is a teenager. But because it sounds so much like a love story out of a movie that sometimes it doesn’t even seem real. But it is.

She can only hope that she gets to be that way of happy one day. As of now, seeing her sister like that after all they have been through is more than enough for her.

XOXO

If there is one thing he regrets; it's never having stood up to that awful woman for hitting his sons. He is not a good father and he knows it. The fact that he didn’t hit them, that he slipped cookies or took care of them when she didn’t does not make up for the fact that while she abused the boys for years physically and mentally he had not done anything. He had not stood up to her, not even once.

He has to apologize. He has done so to Rye and Wheaton, both boys being the ones who less received abuse from the woman readily forgave him. The hardest, he thinks, is going to be Peeta. Not because Peeta won’t forgive him, but because he knows he will forgive him and understand him and he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. He knows so. 

It’s two in the morning and he can’t sleep. So he gets up and opens the door to Rye's room and watches him peacefully sleep for a while before going to Wheaton’s room and doing the same thing. Finally he goes to Peeta’s room, somehow not daring to open the door.

Suddenly he hears whimpering, chocked sobs and he worries. Is there something wrong? He wonders but he is petrified, frozen outside the room to open the door and see what is going on inside.

“NO!” he yells “Stop it! Hit me! Not her! Please?” he hears Peeta crying out and that finally breaks him from his frozen state. He opens the door and kneels next to Peeta’s bed. The boy is crying and whimpering like he is in pain so he shakes him a little but that doesn’t wake him up.

“Son…it’s okay! You are awake now! Everything is okay” he starts repeating over and over again until with a gasp the boy opens his eyes.

Yes, he doesn’t deserve forgiveness. This is part of what he’s allowed to happen. He did this to his son too, just by doing nothing at all. He sighs sadly.

XOXO  
She goes for the rolling pin the minute he hits the ground. He stands up fast as he sees his mother approaching him. He starts shaking; he knows the rolling pin and that frown only mean one thing: a beating. The ovens are reflecting his image and he is surprised as he sees an eight year old boy with eyes as wide as saucers looking back at him. It is him, looking like he did when he was that age.

He hears the woman screaming and he turns to where she is coming. All he wants to do is run, hide and forget. But the thing is that the moment he turns around willing to run away from there he notices he is no longer inside the bakery but outside, in the same alley where he gave Katniss the bag of groceries when they were children.

“You useless excuse of a human being!” the woman yells and all he does is close his eyes expecting the blow. That is what he used to do whenever he was to be punished, close his eyes and receive without complaint. She hits him so hard in the chest that he stumbles and falls to the ground with a loud thump. As he is down he sees his mother approaching with that same menacing smile she used to have before hitting him or his brothers. She kicks him hard in the stomach and in right about that moment somehow, he has traded places with the little girl.

Green eyes full of tears are looking back at him as the woman, he knows as his mother, keeps hitting her with whatever she can get her hands on.

“NO!” he yells “Stop it! Hit me! Not her! Please” but his mother just sneers and keeps hitting the little girl with all her might. He runs to where they are and covers the five year old Katniss with his body as the woman keeps kicking mercilessly. Everything aches but at least she can no longer hit the little girl who is trembling under him. One final kick to his stomach leaves him breathless and his eyes snap open.

“Son…it’s okay! You are awake now! Everything is okay," says the soothing voice of his father right next to him.

“Sorry," he manages to get out. He is shivering and sweaty and his eyes are burning. And he somehow feels like he actually received the blow to the stomach because he is having a hard time breathing.

“Breath Peeta, everything is okay,” repeats his father and Peeta closes his eyes making his best to breath properly again.

“I didn’t mean to wake you Dad. I am sorry,” he repeats.

“You didn’t, I was awake…I heard you yelling and then you started whimpering…I had to see what was wrong. Was it a nightmare?” Peeta nods. “About your mother?” and Peeta nods again. His father sighs. Suddenly he feels his father’s hand on his cheeks wiping tears that he didn’t even realize were there. His dad pats his shoulder and takes his son's face in his hands.

“Dad?”

“I should be the one apologizing son,” he says sadly. He can hear as the sadness seeps into his father’s voice. He’s surprised by that and he doesn’t understand what his father is talking about. His father must see the confusion on his face because he clears his throat. “I should apologize for never standing up for you, before the accident and after it, I just stood by all those years watching your mother hitting you and your brothers, abuse you in every kind of way, and I am sorry for being such a coward, for being so absent and such a bad father." His voice cracks on the last word and Peeta shakes his head, he can’t believe his father is thinking that way.

“Dad…”

“No son, I don’t even deserve to call myself your father and I am sorry but I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up for you and your brothers if only you give me a chance. Forgive me.”

He understands. He always wondered and sometimes even resented his father but he understands. It didn’t matter how much he allowed his smother to hit him, how disappointed he was that he never did anything, his father was and has always been his hero. Who is he to not forgive his father for such a mistake? After all no person is taught how to be a parent, so he just nods.

“Nothing to be forgiven Dad,” is his answer. But his father is not tranquil with this.

“Of course you would say that,” he answers bitterly. “You Peeta…are the one who had to take more from her than anybody else. I should have done something to stop her son and I didn’t. And you have no idea of how sorry I am and how much I need you to forgive me. But really forgive me.”

“Dad, I do not resent you for anything. You did what you could do and what you couldn’t well you could not, but I will never tell you that I blame you for what she did. I understand dad, you see it now. Everything is okay. You are still my hero Dad." he feels his father hug him tight suddenly. The man is shaking with sobs and wetting Peeta’s shirt with his tears and he lets him.

He really could never resent him for he understands. He doesn’t know how, but he understands.

XOXO  
They are all spending the afternoon in the park. They bring a radio, blankets, games and all sorts of things to have fun. It is summer after all; their last summer all together and they have to make the best of it.

She takes him for a walk. They all see them walk over to the bridge.

Gale thinks that Peeta is pretty much one of the best things to ever happen to Katniss Everdeen. He worries sometimes because he knows that right now everything is perfect, and he knows too, that it won’t be perfect forever.

“I bet twenty dollars that they break up for the first time in three months,” Finnick says as he looks to where Katniss and Peeta are standing. Gale frowns.

“For the first time?” asks Annie who is sitting right next to Finnick voicing Gale’s question.

“Yeah, first biiiiig fight and first break up." he says placing a chip on his mouth and chewing. “Trouble in paradise in three months,” Annie punches him softly.

“They are our friends, they are happy together, why betting on when they are going to break up?” asks Annie.

“Chill missy!” says Finnick smiling warmly to her “Those two will pretty much end up getting married; everything is perfect now but you know there’s no perfect relationship, of course aside from ours,” he smiles. They all laugh.

“So what you are saying is that they will break up and get back together…” says Johanna “No brainer there Odair. I am not betting on something so stupid”.

“I am not betting in something so cruel, it is our friends you are talking about,” says Annie frowning and Johanna and her immerse in a heated conversation.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” yells Katniss hitting Peeta on the arm. He catches her with his arms and easily carries her bridal style on his arms. She kicks and trashes on his arms smiling. When he finally lets go she jumps into Peeta’s arms and hugs him tightly. The guy is really perfect for his best friend. He can put up with her perfectly.

“Six” says Gale smiling as he looks back to Finnick. And he bets too it is going to be Katniss fault.

He knows she is happy and is good to know that it will last this time. Katniss isn’t one to let go of the things she loves easily. He smiles. Mellark is in on there for good.

XOXO

He has never worn a tuxedo before. Maysilee insisted that she wanted all of them to look impeccable. She is such a nice woman; of course all of them agreed immediately. He won’t voice it but he hates the damn tuxedo.

Prim is not one of the maids so she is sitting with Peeta in the first row bench as the preacher keeps talking.

It's in these kinds of moments that he wishes he could see. Prim’s description of Katniss doesn’t fulfill reality, he just knows. She probably doesn’t look just beautiful like Prim said, she must look stunning and he knows it. Sometimes he wishes he could have one more day, just one day to be able to see and look at her one more time and engrain that moment in his mind forever. He sighs.  
As the wedding ends and the reception starts they all sit. As the night progresses everyone stands up and goes dancing or to get lost. Katniss and Peeta are sitting at the table and he sighs again thinking of how much he wishes he could be a normal boyfriend for her. Look at her lovingly and tell her how beautiful she looks tonight. He doesn’t know that he actually does, without doing so. He wants so bad to be able to take her to the dance floor and kiss her as they are there moving slowly to the music. He can’t though. He is not a normal boyfriend.

“Is there something wrong?” she asks.

“There is nothing that could be wrong," he says smiling and she takes his hand squeezing lightly.

They are not a couple that is a fan of PDA even when they are by themselves they are not very showy or extremely affectionate. He likes this because it is in the little gestures that they show how they feel.

They still have a month and a couple of weeks left together but Oh! How he is going to miss her.

“Dance with me?” she asks and he gets up and lets her lead him. It is a slow song, one of those he would never listen to willingly but that somehow manages to be perfect for slow dancing.

They are close, so close he can smell her woodsy vanilla scent. He presses his cheek to her temple as they sway slowly to the music.

These moments that he never thought he would ever have with her are the ones he treasures the most.  
“I will miss you,” he says in a whisper, almost wishing her not to listen. This kind of comments are not the ones she needs right now.

“I will miss you too,” she says and she kisses his shoulder, he feels the warmth of her kiss through his shirt and his heart beats impossibly faster. “But you’ll wait for me” she says and she tries to make it sound like a statement but sounds more like a question.

“Always” he answers and smiles.

This has kind of become their thing and he loves it.

XOXO

She needs constant confirmation that he will wait. She knows words assure you absolutely nothing but still hearing him say “always” brings a sense of calm to her that gives her the courage to leave as they agreed.

She has had second thoughts all through these weeks as her time with her friends, Prim and Peeta only gets better and shorter. She wishes she did not have to leave but Peeta, Gale and Prim have made sure to keep her mind and will on the right track.

It doesn’t keep her from asking if he will wait, only wishing to hear the always as the answer. She loves it.

She looks up at his face, his impossibly long lashes that she kind of has a fixation on.

Peeta “looks” down. Sometimes when he does that, that thing of looking right to where she is, right into her eyes she feels like he is looking right at her, right into her. And she is amazed at how that is even possible and of how it makes her feel. She never thought she could feel this way.

The song comes to an end and soon another one starts but they are both standing still “looking” into each other’s eyes when suddenly his hands start moving from her waist and hand where they were positioned to her arms and then her neck until he is cupping her face.

He starts moving his fingers and then the palms of his hands, he is feeling the contour of her face and she closes her eyes. This feels so much like that first time and she can’t believe this is finally happening. She has waited for this forever it feels.

He traces her eyebrows, cheekbones, her nose and stops right as his thumbs brush the corners of her mouth on each side. She can feel his breath on her face minty and chocolaty from their dessert and then his lips are on hers. Soft and moving slowly, like savoring the moment. His hands never leaving her face as his thumbs trace her jaw lovingly.

Instinctively she wraps her arms around his neck, as if having him as close as she’s got him isn’t enough. His hands go to her waist and she can’t help but to reel on the sensation that fills her as they kiss. All warm and tingly and she is positive this is how it feels to be flying or in the clouds as people say.

When they separate, they are both out of breath.

Peeta leans his forehead against hers not opening his eyes.

“Is this real?” he asks and she nods, but he can’t see her.  
“Real,” she answers when she can find her voice and she knows that, that right there is going to be the kiss that she is going to re live from now on. As is the best kiss she has ever had.

This is the kiss she is going to remember as there is really no comparison.

It is Haymitch and Maysilee’s wedding and Peeta Mellark finally dared to kiss her. She knows one thing for sure. After this kiss…she won’t stop kissing him like ever. He is stuck into that kissing thing for life. She doesn’t think he will actually mind.

XOXO

It’s her last day in town. She spends the morning in a party planned by her friends. They laugh, play and enjoy themselves. She sneaks her hand under the table from once in a while to hold on to Peeta’s. She has to soak in these moments while she can, while she she’s still got him right there with her, because she is leaving tomorrow. The time has finally come.

After lunch, everyone leaves. So she takes him by the hand and fills a backpack with a blanket and some snacks. She leads him through the same path they took months ago.

When they reach the spot she places the blanket on the ground and they lie down. After a while he breaks the silence.

“I have a farewell present," he says sitting.

“Oh! A present…Oh! Umm, no Peeta you don't have to,” she says and truth is she doesn’t like how a farewell present sounds. Just because it sounds like a good bye so much and even though she is leaving in less than twenty four hours she is still in denial.  
“I want you to have something to remember me by,” he says with a smile “And it can be a promise too,” he adds.

“Peeta, really!” she says her eyes widening as she looks at him take out a little silver chain out of his pocket.

“This is it,” he says searching for her hand and placing it on it. She looks down at her hand and there is a silver chain that has a silver holder that contains a pearl. “I want you to have it. Finnick helped me look for the holder, if you don’t like it blame it on him,” he says laughing lightly.

“And the pearl?” she asks.

“That…I found it when I was five” he says smiling. “I was kind of saving it. Long story.” he says blushing and she blushes too. “Please, use it…so you don’t forget about me,” he says.

“I couldn’t. I love it Peeta! It is beautiful” she says. And she places it around her neck. When it is secured she takes his hand and places it on her neck so he can feel the silver chain around her neck. He smiles as he runs the chain through his fingers reaching the pearl.

“Right where I knew it belonged,” he says.

They lie down again. She places her head on his arm and they stay there, soaking the last rays of sun, the last moment together before everything may change forever.

When the sun starts to set, just the way she did before, she starts describing it for Peeta as detailed as she can. He holds her hand, with eyes closed, as she describes the sunset and right in that moment, here, looking up to his serene face and impossibly long lashes, feeling warm and happy she wishes she could freeze the moment and live in it forever. 

Forever.

XOXO

A good bye is never easy but he is intending to make it as easy as possible for her. So after what feels like hours hearing Gale and Finnick grunt putting the cases in the back of Haymitch’s truck. The moment to say good bye and finally let go arrives.

She hugs everyone never letting go of his hand until finally he is the only one left to say good bye to.

He feels her twist and she hugs him impossibly tight.

“It’s time sweetheart,” says Haymitch.

“Bye Katniss” he says smiling.

“Bye Peeta” she answers and finally lets go of his hand.

He hears as she gets into the truck and the car’s doors close. Finally with a collective good by the car drives away.

Bye Katniss, he thinks again but he knows too that as he promised he will wait for her, always.

A/N. I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think! The delay was courtesy of my brother who I borrowed my laptop too and who managed to make all the word I had done vanish! Anyway! Let me know what you think!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

“Is it really what you want?" She asks and her voice breaks a little. 

“Of course not Katniss, I don’t want that" He sighs. “But it’s not like you are leaving me much of a choice…you don’t trust me." He says and it’s breaking him to be the one to make the decision. 

“I…Fine!" She yells and hangs up. He sighs. 

“Peeta?” Alli calls him and he wakes up from the now sort of distant memory. “What is up with you dude?" She asks and he just shakes his head. 

“Nothing. I was just remembering something." He answers. 

“It looked more like wondering. Were you wondering whether Katniss will break up with you over this or not?" She asks and he winces. In all truth that is exactly why he was remembering their first break up just now. 

These past two years have been full of everything, and the situation at hand places the perfect example these days.   
That first time they broke up (because there’s one more that you won’t probably hear about because he thinks it’s stupid) had been due to Glimmer. Just to clear something: Gale had won the bet. 

The girl had found her way into Peeta’s school and before he knew she was in most of his classes and even partnered with him in some school project for a class. Needless to say it was with hidden intentions. She had even made sure to inform Katniss about the situation through one of her friends who knew someone who was friends with someone Katniss met at school in New York. 

Katniss called him one night to ask him about school. He readily told her about Glimmer, but somehow that just made things worse because Katniss started getting mad and it was like something he doesn’t know how to compare. They were talking and suddenly she started to yell and she started accusing him of a series of things that are not even worth mentioning. He understood she was jealous but the things she was saying made him straight down furious. 

“Stop! Stop it!" He said, it was more like yelling than talking. “If that is really what you think then maybe this needs to be over. I can’t have you thinking that way about me, Katniss!" He said and he sounded so resolute that he couldn’t believe what he was saying. That had quieted her. 

“Is it really what you want?" She asked and her voice broke a little. 

“Of course not Katniss, I don’t want that" He sighed. “But it’s not like you are leaving me much of a choice…you don’t trust me,” and it was the truth. 

“I…Fine!" She yelled and hung up. 

He made his best effort to hide how he was feeling all through dinner with his family. When dinner was over he climbed the stairs shuffling his feet. Somehow he didn’t feel like he had the energy to do anything at that moment. That’s how heartbreak feels. He thought. Much later he would find out that, that’s not how heartache feels for everyone. Not for Katniss, not for Alli and certainly not for Prim. 

He dumped on his bed breathing in and out slowly in order to keep himself from crying. Not one minute had passed when his phone started ringing. He did not want to talk to anyone. He was not in the mood. He had just broken up with the girl he had been in love with for forever. 

“Peeta?” Rye knocked on the door. 

“I’m not here," He answered. 

“It’s Katniss" He said and he heard him talking to someone, probably on the phone, probably Katniss. “She says she didn’t mean any of the things she said, that she’s an idiot, that and she wants you to answer the phone.” 

“What?" He asked because he wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. 

“Its Katniss, she says-”

“I heard you!" He yelled and got up to open the door. Rye laughed and handed him the phone. 

She had apologized a million times, he even thinks he heard tears on her voice but he wouldn’t point that out. She had explained how stressed she’d been all those weeks and well, when she heard from someone that she knew this girl: Glimmer who was dating some blind hot guy back home she had lost it; when he told her he was in a class with her and that she was his partner…well, everything pent up leading to the yelling and her harsh words and the rest of what had happened. 

She told him that she couldn’t help to be jealous but that she would try to control herself next time and be civil about the situations. She probably would do it again though and that she apologized in advance for her stupidity. 

It did happen again. It was his turn to apologize and that had been a couple of months ago. 

All in all…they were happy. There is not a perfect relationship. Not that he knows of at least. So it isn’t shocking that their relationship isn’t perfect either. He didn’t expect it to be.   
But now, right now, waiting for her to come back from New York to spend the summer together he is wondering if she will listen long enough to what he has to say. or if it will lead to another break up. He sighs. He is preparing for the blow. He knows Katniss won’t listen to him. And frankly…maybe he doesn’t want her to listen to him. He doesn’t want to put her through what he is. From being full of hope to maybe end up being disappointed if things don’t turn out like promised. 

Maybe, even if he is dreading the break up that is to come, he is wishing it to happen so he doesn’t have to put her through this with him. 

XOXO  
“So I will be arriving tomorrow at noon. I will go to your house so we can talk. I don’t get why you are waiting so much! You know I am not patient Peeta!" She whines and he smiles. 

“I know…”

“Just tell me what’s wrong? You are worrying me, you know?" She says and sighs exaggeratedly. 

“We will talk tomorrow, okay?" He says and the downturn of his mouth is feeling her of dread. Something is up…and she fears she won’t like the outcome. 

“Okaaay." She says leaving it at that.   
“Bye honey." He says. It still feels weird sometimes but after all the time they’ve been together something like nick names and I love yous was bound to happen. She can’t say that she hates it. She kind of loves it. 

“Bye Peeta. Love you." She says and they hang up. 

Telling him that she loved him had been like mission impossible. They talked on skype all the time. They did it for her because he couldn’t see but she needed to see him. She missed him a lot. And about a year after she had moved to New York to go to college she had found herself thinking about telling him I love you whenever he did something cute like just being him. She couldn’t believe it herself but she felt like telling him and that must mean that she feels it, right?

She couldn’t always come home because well, they couldn’t afford it. And this winter was the case. Christmas was coming and she couldn’t believe she was going to spend it by herself. It saddened her but she had put on a bright smile when talking to her uncle, Prim and Peeta the other day. It was just money they couldn’t afford to waste. 

“I am sorry I can’t make it." She had told him. 

“It is okay Katniss…I understand." He had said and smiled sweetly at her. 

She knew he would say that. He was always the understanding one. One of them had to be.   
She ordered Chinese food and she felt more than lonely when they asked her if it was for two or not. She heard the knock on the door and ran to the door. She opened it and there they were Prim and Peeta smiling brightly at her. Prim hugged her sister and then shook her head indicating Peeta. Katniss jumped into his arms and she felt him envelop her with his arms. His strong arms that always make her feel safe. He smelled like cinnamon and sugar and she buried her nose on his neck as if in doing so the smell would remain with her forever. 

“I missed you." She whispered and she felt him nod. 

“I missed you too." He answered. 

“Oh My God! I can’t believe you are here!" She yelled and looked at Peeta’s smiling face. 

“Peeta brought me." Said Prim from behind as she smiled brightly shaking her head at her sister’s antiques. Katniss hadn’t let go of Peeta, her arms around his neck and her feet dangling from the ground. 

She felt this overwhelming love in her. He was so amazing. 

“You did?" She separates a little to look at his face and he just nodded shrugging and smiling. Shrugging! Like if bringing himself and her little sister all over here wasn’t that big of a deal. “You are amazing, thank you so much! I love you!" She said and she gasped, prim gasped and Peeta blushed.   
“Umm…I am going to go take a shower.” Prim said and standing up ran away. Peeta cleared his throat and she buried her head on the crook of his neck. 

“You…you love me?" He asked as if he couldn’t believe what she had just said. 

“I…umm…I…you don’t have to…I…" She stutters. Was it too soon? He had said he was in love with her since they were children…was it too soon? Had she scared him? 

“Katniss?" He asked and she nodded. She felt stupid, to say I love you in such a bad way and with such a lame timing. She had had millions of opportunities to say it before in more romantic settings, in more romantic conversations and she just had gone on blurting it out like if it was nothing. 

“I love you." She repeated slowly as if saying it this way would help the words sink in. As if saying it that time would fix her previous fuck up. 

She felt him hug her tighter and start laughing. 

“I love you too." He had said and she had separated to look at him. 

“Why are you laughing?" She said and she was annoyed. She pushed him back and stood on the floor. Her arms crossed over her chest and a frown on her face. She could feel it.   
“It’s going to sound corny…but I’m just so happy." He answered and she laughed too. That was such a Peeta thing to say. 

Even to this day she remembers how she first told him she loved him and she winces. Just like their first kiss she had come up and screwed it! But Peeta always tells her that it was perfect. It was such a ‘Katniss’ way of saying I love you…that of blurting it out of nowhere, that there could not have been a better way. That’s what he says…she knows he is a sentimental fool…and somehow it is okay with her. 

Never having had a relationship before, she thinks they have done pretty well. It doesn’t matter how many times they fight each other, how many times they have broken up and whose fault it was they have come through all of those things and they are still together. Sometimes she feels that there won’t be a thing to break them apart forever. 

She worries sometimes of how much she’s come to rely on him for her happiness but then she remembers that somehow that is what love is about. Some part of you will always rely on someone else for happiness. She is just glad that that someone is Peeta Mellark. 

XOXO  
Just like her I love you he blurted out the honey and it stuck ever since. 

“Bye honey." He had said at the end of one of their skype dates and he heard the silence that followed. Not because she had hung up but because she probably was so shocked that she didn’t know how to answer to the nick name. 

Now that he thinks of it…she probably was surprised at the beginning but it grew on her or she loved it immediately because she never complained. 

He loves to call her honey. It suits her…even if Gale thinks it doesn’t because he says Katniss doesn’t strike him as the ‘honey’ type with all her scowling. Peeta always laughs when he says that. 

Gale has come to be such a good friend that, that has become another one of the things he thanks his blindness for. 

He even wonders how he could not have realized how deep in love Gale was with Johanna…that would have spared him a lot of jealousy and years of not talking to Katniss because she had a boyfriend. Stupid him. 

“Katniss is here!” calls Rye from downstairs and he makes his way down. 

“Missed you." She says as she jumps into his arms and makes him stumble a little. 

“Missed you too honey." He answers and hugs her tightly, wishing to never let her go. 

“Are we going to have our talk now?" She asks and he shakes his head. 

“Let’s go for a walk." He says and she takes his hand. 

XOXO  
“Missed you too honey." He says and he hugs her tightly. Something is off and she can’t shake the feeling. As she came closer to town from the airport the feeling began practically suffocating and she can’t seem to shake it. He lets her down. 

“Are we going to have our talk now?" She asks him and she sees Rye, who opened the door and is still standing there, freeze and then shake his head as Peeta in front of her shakes his head too. Something that she doesn’t like shows up on Rye’s face. 

“Let’s go for a walk." He says and she takes his hand. 

They get out but don’t get too far. They are walking slowly and without a destination. It almost looks like Peeta is dreading the talk so she comes to the only conclusion she can with his odd behavior. 

“Are you going to break up with me?" She asks stopping. 

“What?" He asks surprised. 

“I said: are you going to break up with me?" She asks again and he shakes his head. “You’ve been acting very weird since we talked and now that I am here…and…that’s the only thing I can think about…something is off." She says serious. 

“Is there some place to sit here?" He asks and she leads him back to his porch. They didn’t walk that far anyway so they might as well get back. She’s doing it more because the dreadful feeling is back and her instinct is telling her to run away. Against it, she stays to hear what he has to say. 

“Here…we are in your house again…let’s sit here on the porch." She says and sits looking at him. 

“Do you remember our promise about summers?" He asks slowly and she nods. She tends to do this thing of nodding or shaking her head and feeling stupid immediately after because of course he can’t see her. 

“Yeah, I remember." She says. After that first summer they spent together and since her scholarship covered the plane tickets to go back home in the summers they had promised that every summer would be spent together no excuse made no questions asked. There were some exceptions to the rule like internships and things like that but…she was sure that if he had an internship or something he would have told her so, after all that was one of the conditions…informing the other party with anticipation…she gets mad. 

“Well, I…”

“Yeah…promise about to be broken…right?" She says and she is angry as she sees him nod slowly. “Why?" She asks and he is about to start talking but she doesn’t let him. “You know what…it doesn’t matter…you didn’t tell me before because well you didn’t…have fun with whatever it is that is more important than our only long period of time together a year." She stands up stomping. 

“Katniss, just let me explain." He says but for some reason she isn’t willing to listen. She is mad. Whatever reason he’s got right now won’t sound good enough as to excuse him for leaving her alone for the summer. “I need you to…”

“There is nothing to explain Peeta. It is as it is,” she answers and she turns around walking fast. As she reaches the gate she can hear Peeta calling her name and starting to walk slowly down the path that leads to the fence. She turns around for a second and when she turns to start walking again she bumps into someone. “Sorry." She says but keeps walking. 

“Katniss?" Says the girl confused as she sees the girl leaving the house in full angry mode on. 

XOXO

“What the hell did you do?” asks Alli as she reaches Peeta in the middle of the path. 

“I was trying to tell her but she got mad…”  
“The summer…” Alli says knowingly as she looks at Peeta nod. “You should have been more…tactful." She says but she knows that it doesn’t matter how slow or how sweet he could have tried to deliver the news Katniss still would have gotten mad. This reaction was to be expected. “So, now what?” She asks. 

“I leave…and hope for the best…and then when I come back hopefully I can fix this…" He says slowly. 

“You wanted her to go with you…I can take you there…you can talk to her, explain. When she listens she will understand Peeta,” but as she says this he shakes his head and she thinks she gets what he is thinking. “You don’t really want her there, do you?” 

“I don’t want her to be all hopeful only to be let down…you know it is risky and that it could go wrong.”

“Shut up." She says harshly. “You can’t be thinking like that Peeta Mellark!" She is mad. She understands that he is scared, frankly she is too. He is practically her best friend (even if he doesn’t know yet) and she doesn’t like to think about the fact that something could go wrong and…well, she doesn’t like to think about it. “It will not go wrong. You will be back in less than you know and everything will be perfect again, not that it isn’t perfect right now. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I understand" He says nodding. He doesn’t seem to be very convinced but he smiles at her. “Don’t tell her, okay? If it goes okay then I will tell her and if it doesn’t…”  
“It will be okay." She says and she heads back to the porch and sits there with him. She rests her head against his shoulder as the last rays of sun warm them. 

“Alli?”

“Yeah?" She answers looking up at his face. 

“Thank you.” 

“For keeping up with your lazy grumpy butt?" She asks and he laughs. 

“For everything. Thank you so much”.

“That’s what friends are for" She smiles and she hopes that, with that phrase she can convey the ‘you are my best friend’ that she denies to say aloud. Maybe she should, now would be the right moment to let him know…but the thing is she is an optimist and as she knows everything will be okay she will wait to tell him when he comes back. 

XOXO  
She enters the house and runs up the stairs to her room. She falls readily into the bed and digs her head into the pillow screaming. 

“What the hell is wrong with me?”¨she yells into the pillow. 

The walk from Peeta’s house to hers isn’t that long but it sure gave her time to think and rethink about what had just happened. She had screwed up big time! He had waited to talk to her, and she knew him…it was important. She had gotten just so mad and hurt at the thought of them not spending the summer together that she had refused to listen to his explanation or any of her words. 

“Katniss?” calls Prim. 

“I’m okay." She says. 

“No, you are not. What happened? Aren’t you supposed to not be here right now?" Her sister asks and Katniss nods. 

“I had a fight with Peeta." She answers and her eyes tear. 

“About?”

“He’s leaving…he’s spending the summer somewhere else doing God knows why…and I just got so mad…”

“Did he tell you where he is going? What is he going to do there?”

“No.”

“He didn’t explain!?" She says outraged. “What a douche.”

“I didn’t let him explain Prim.” 

Her little sister raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. It only confirms that she acted badly and that hurts even more. 

“Well call him silly. Let him explain.” Prim says wisely but Katniss shakes her head. 

“I will go look for him…I guess I have to fix this." She says. 

She never gets to. 

Gale, Johanna, Finnick and the others arrive shortly after with food, drinks and stuff to welcome her home. 

All the while she is thinking about Peeta and about how much she screwed up by not letting him explain. It is a good thing that he knows that she always talks and acts before thinking. He will surely forgive her and everything is going to be fine after his explanation. 

She goes to bed. 

“There’s no one there child!", says the woman who lives now on Maysilee’s house. 

“They left early this morning.” adds the old man sitting in a rocking chair. “Had a lot of bags…looked like a long trip.”

“They even left us in charge of watering the plants.” adds the old woman proudly. 

“Thank you." She says. 

She turns around. She starts dialing the phone. 

She is such an idiot. She should have told Rye or his Dad that she was coming this morning but…agh! 

It’s the fifth time that she dials and she knows that he won’t answer his phone. She fucked up!   
Where is he going? For how long? 

She is scared. 

XOXO

“Won’t you answer the phone?” asks Rye from the driver’s seat as he looks at his younger brother from the rearview. 

“He is asleep idiot.” answers Wheaton who is next to Peeta. 

“Yeah, idiot! I was talking to you.”

“No, I won’t answer his phone he is going to kick my ass.” answers Wheaton and laughs. 

“Yeah, you are right.”

“So, why isn’t Katniss here?” asks Wheaton. 

“The summers are the only time of the year that they spend together for more than a couple of days…so Peeta and his bad timing told her pretty badly that they weren’t…chick went crazy and ran away. I swear sometimes I think she is bipolar…but I can’t blame her for it…Peeta here is terrible at telling stuff.”

“I think he didn’t want her here.” Wheaton says and his father nods. 

“Why the hell not?”

“We are not sure if this is going to work. He’s been stressed out about it…hopes up and hopes down all the time. I don’t think he wants to put her through this so…”

“Since when are you so freaking wise?”

“He’s not. I am an open book.” Peeta answers with a yawn and a smile. 

“Yeah, that’s right!” answers Wheaton laughing “I pay attention dude…unlike you!" He says punching Rye. 

“Dude! Designated driver here! You do not punch the driver!" He says and they all laugh. 

Peeta is right, he thinks, but he is wrong too. He thinks Katniss deserved to know. But he won’t get in the middle of it. He will only keep telling jokes and saying stupid things in order to lighten the mood. He wishes with all of his heart for this thing to work out. No one deserves this more than his little brother. 

XOXO  
“Do you know where he went? Alli you have to tell me!” Katniss looks frantic in front of her. She is sweating and her usually perfectly kept braid is a mess. 

“Calm down woman! What is up with you?”

“Peeta left! There’s no one at his house! I went to apologize but he wasn’t there and I tried calling but he wouldn’t answer and I don’t know what is going on!”

“Calm down Katniss! Yes, he left. He probably doesn’t answer because he is asleep or something I don’t know. You know he is a mess with that freaking phone! I can’t tell you where he went or what he is doing Katniss, I am sorry. But he left this for you if this situation rose.”

She puts her hand in her pocket where she’s kept Peeta’s note for the past day and takes it out handing it to Katniss. 

She can see from where she is standing what it says. 

Calm down! I am not mad! I’ll be back and I love you! -Peeta  
“This is it?" She asks and she can see the girl is about to cry. Katniss Everdeen never cries. 

“Yep, that’s what he gave me yesterday. Trust him Katniss.” She says and squeezes the girl’s hand. 

“I am the worst girlfriend ever…that’s what I am." She cries. 

“It’s okay! I would’ve been mad too, you know? The boy has no tact to deliver news.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t listen…I just ran away like I always do…that’s something shitty to do. What if he needed me or something? I am the worst girlfriend ever." She exclaims again. 

Alli can only sigh. 

“He is the worst boyfriend ever too, you know? Knowing how reactive you are he should have been more tactful and deliver what he wanted to say slowly so you wouldn’t run away. It’s not like he is not used to you and running away.” adds Alli and she knows she gave the girl something to think about. 

XOXO

She doesn’t her from him again. Not for two weeks.   
She is scared. She wonders if she will ever see him again. 

He said he would be back on his note and so she is waiting. There’s not much of anything else she can do because the only time the phone was answered it was Mr. Mellark who answered and the conversation was politely brief. 

He didn’t give away any detail as to where they were or what they were doing but he told her that they would be back in a couple of weeks. 

He sounded nervous. And that only made her more nervous but she is still waiting. 

She would wait for him always. 

XOXO  
He hasn’t talked to Katniss in two weeks and he is dying to talk to her. That and to get the stupid bandages taken off. To finally find out if the procedure actually worked. It is more an experiment than any other thing. It’s passed a significant amount of time since the accident for anything to assure 100% that he is going to see again but at least he had to try. 

It was shocking and earth moving to get that call. To get a call that could change his life forever, a call that meant that he could see again, that there was actually a chance for him to see again. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity even if it meant that he might actually find out that there was nothing left to do and that he would be blind for the rest of his life? He would have been stupid not to take the chance. 

It was upsetting however to find out that they had tried to locate him through his mother and that she had denied them the information to contact him. Not even when it meant that maybe he would see again had she given in a little. 

The doctors had explained what was wrong with his eyes but he couldn’t hear what they were saying, it was like the doctors weren’t there telling him something of such importance. He came back to his senses when they told him that there were 50% chances of him getting back his sight with the procedure. They asked him and his dad if they were willing to risk it and they had agreed. 

After he had agreed he spent the next two weeks trying to work a way to tell Katniss without getting her mad. He had sucked. And he knows that maybe he did it a little on purpose. He didn’t want Katniss to go through what he has been going through these last weeks wondering what if it doesn’t work. Trying to make himself hope for the worst in order not to get too disappointed if this doesn’t work. 

But at the same time as he sits in the bed with his eyes closed and head bandaged and not knowing if he can see now he wishes she was there holding his hand and trying awkwardly as she is to reassure him that it doesn’t matter if he can’t see she will be next to him still. 

He sighs.   
“It’s Alli." He hears his brother’s voice call to him. He hears the steps and then he feels the phone pressed against his the palm of his hand. 

“Hello?”

“Finally! I am so going to kick your ass when you get back!" She says with a loud voice. She’s not yelling but he knows her and she probably wishes she was. 

“I’m fine how are you?" He asks laughing a little. 

“Well, among other things…I am dealing with your angst-filled girlfriend here who is dying to talk to you ever since you left.”

“Did you give her the note?”

“Yeah, I did. But frankly…that was a crappy note to leave behind Mellark…she should dump your ass the minute you get back. Just for a matter of pride." She says and laughs. 

“Yeah, she should.” 

“Anyway, you sure you are fine? It is probably the last thing I can ask you…I have a line of people…you will owe me minutes when you get back after all of them end up with mine!”  
“I think I will owe you more than that.”

“Hell you will.”

“I am fine." He says reassuring her because despite all the things she says and her attitude that now resembles a lot Johanna’s, she sounds worried. 

“That said…”

“Hello?! Hello?!”

“Hi Mallow." He says and he is surprised as to how much older she sounds now. Two years really mean a lot to a toddler. 

“Are you coming back soon? You should come back soon! I am having a Princess’ birthday party and I will need a prince." She says and he laughs. 

“You want me to be your prince?”

“Well, I do. I asked Miss Katniss and she said I could borrow you.”

“She did?”

“Yes, you can ask her." Says Mallow and he can hear voices and rustling and he can swear that they even dropped the phone. 

“Peeta? Hello? Are you there?" She asks her voice frantic. 

“I’m here honey. How are you?”

“I’m fine but…how are you?” 

“I’m fine Katniss. I am okay." He answers and it is like he turned a switch off and another one on because now she sounds pissed. 

“Good. Where the hell are you? And what kind of letter is that stupid note you left?! It says nothing! You just left and what the hell Peeta?! Just…What the freaking hell!?”

“I’m sorry. I swear I have an explanation." He hears her sigh. It’s like her pent up frustration went out with those sentences and she sounds more calm now. 

“Yeah, and I want to hear it! Probably not right now but…yeah…I promise I will listen this time…and all of the next times.”  
“I’m glad you will listen this time and all of the next times." He says laughing. It’s not that he doesn’t believe her because he is sure she will try…let’s just hope that she actually listens. 

“I miss you! I went to your house to apologize the next morning but you weren’t there anymore and I just…”

“It’s okay honey, it’s okay." He tells her and now he wishes more than before that she was here right next to him. “I’ll be back soon okay?”

“Okay.”

“I have to go Katniss.”

“Okay.”

“Bye Peeta." He hears other voices in the back probably Prim, Alli and little Mallow because he is sure he hears a Bye Mr. Peeta in the back. He smiles. He can’t wait to get back to them. Seeing or blind…it doesn’t really matter anymore. Because right now he knows that either way all of them love him and they are waiting for him. 

There is no maybe in the realization that even when his mother treated him poorly, hit him and made his life miserable all of them were always there for him. It did not matter how much he pushed them away or how many mistakes he made, they were all there and taking him in, accepting him the way he was, blind and all. He is worth now to someone and even more important he is worth to his eyes and there’s nothing that can change that, not even not getting his sight back. 

XOXO  
They all have been on the edge for a couple of weeks now. 

Well, more like a month or so. Everything started when they got the call that could change Peeta’s life. That could bring back what he had lost that terrible night. Rye still blamed himself for that. Maybe if he had not been tired that night, maybe if he had driven…maybe if… the phrases that plagued his mind at night whenever he thought of his blind brother who was struggling against their mother and against life in that moment. 

And this possible solution meant that his little brother could get everything back, not that he had not found even more when he had become blind. He suspected nowadays that Peeta thanked his blindness for all of the amazing people that it had brought to him and even more the fact that it had brought the girl of his dreams to him. 

What could be better than the girl of your dreams loving you and wanting to be with you no matter what? 

Anyways! Getting back to the matter at hand he thanks God for answering the phone that day. A possible solution, but a solution nonetheless and it could make Peeta see. They all were willing to try. But of course it wasn’t going to be easy it could not work with all the time that had passed and it was going to be more an experiment than anything else but they were willing to try. And try they did. 

And today…today they are finally taking the Goddamn bandages off. Today they will find out if his brother will be able to see again.   
It’s not that he doesn’t love his brother the way he is. Of course he does. The fact that he never shows is just because older brothers are supposed to be rough and tough and mean. But he loves his little brother. 

“Peet?”

“Yeah?” 

“I just…want you to know that it doesn’t matter what happens today…you are a great little brother and I…kinda…love you dude…any way you are, okay?” Peeta laughs along with Wheaton and his dad who enter at the precise moment he is saying those sappy things. 

It probably is because he’s never said something like this before but he feels like he has to. 

“We all do son." His father adds. And Wheaton nods. 

“Sure we do.” adds their older brother just as the doctors enter the room. 

“I do too dude, all of you,” Peeta answers mocking his previous words and laughing. 

And as the Doctor proceeds to remove the bandages he stands still hoping with all his heart that his little brother will get to see again, but not caring at all if he does. Because after all, after all his little brother has been through, Peeta is whole and he feels like he finally knows he is worth the love of the people who is around him and the love of those who are not. His little brother is worth a hell of a lot, and nothing makes him happier than to know that Peeta knows it. 

And that changes everything.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

She didn’t find out by him that he was back.

Oh nooooo! It had to be someone else to tell her that he is back. That they saw him, that he was pale but that other than that he looked fine.

She is going to kill him! She swears to God that she is going to kill him because he should have called her or told Rye or Wheaton or his Dad to give her a call to let her know that he was back because she’s been dying to see him again and to apologize ever since they had that fight and he disappeared without telling her where he was.

She is going to freaking kill him!

That’s all she can think about as she gives each little smiling kid a cookie as she is plastering a fake smile on her face that she is sure looks awful and intimidating if not ugly.

She is sure she is not doing a good job because the kids look more scared than anything else, all of them except Mallow who actually smiles at her when she sees the hard work she is putting into smiling. The little girl even congratulates her for not being scowling and Katniss laughs for the first time since she heard Peeta is back and hasn’t called her.

“You are going to go, right?” asks Prim as she hands a juice to the kids.

“I’m…”

“She’s going” says Alli laughing as she hands another kid a napkin.

“I didn’t say I was going…I am pissed” she says squinting at Alli.

“I know…but please Katniss…we are not stupid!” she says and Prim laughs and quickly coughs as if to hide it but it’s too late.

“It’s just that…” she wants to scream “I hate him for doing this to me! I want to be mad but I know the minute I see him and that I see he is okay I will forget about it…that asshole knows it too!” she says and the three of them laugh.

Truth is that even though they have fought in several occasions there could have been even more fights but they were always prevented because of Peeta’s nature and his lack of fight when it comes to Katniss.

It’s normal then to know that what she is saying is the truth. And the curious thing is that she doesn’t even care about that.

“Have you seen him Alli?” she asks. She needs to know.

“Nope” the girl shakes her head. “If I see him before you do, you will kill me…and maybe him too, so I am keeping my distance” she says laughing and Prim coughs again.

“Shut up” she says but smiles. She would probably kill them both, the girl is right.

She will go; she can’t wait to see him. They still have a couple more of weeks that they can spend together. After all the time they have been apart she doesn’t really care about where he went or what he did. She just wants to be with him.

XOXO

Alli is walking to the library close to the bakery when she sees him through the window of the bakery. The rumors were true he looks pale, he is wearing sunglasses (which he often uses in the bakery because he doesn’t like the way people stare at his eyes, even when she doesn’t know how he knows it is his eyes they are staring at, even if it probably is because they are impossibly blue and shiny and not because he is blind) but other than that he looks normal and good. A little pale but he looks perfectly fine. The dude always looks pale anyway. 

She fights hard against herself. She wants really bad to go see him and all but if Katniss catches her she is going to kill them both and Peeta told her to wait the other day so she doesn’t really can go against his request.  
XOXO

So today is the day she is going to go look for him. It’s been two days since she found out he’s been back. She hasn’t gone to see him because she has had many things to do. She had to find what to do after he left and her duties are not over.

There seems to be a silver lining in everything because she’s been able to make many kids happy and she’s helped feed them these last weeks with Alli and Prim. She feels great doing this; she can’t deny that it was hard at the beginning because she could see in the gaunt cheeks and sometimes hollow eyes herself. But it’s been great how those gaunt cheeks have filled and their eyes shine so much now. Just a few weeks and she have been able to make a difference.

Other thing that has changed is her mother. Prim and she are still living with uncle Haymitch but her mother is way better now and she has come to visit a lot in the past weeks. It’s not that they didn’t talk over the phone to her over the past months but they never got to see her. And now that they can she seems way better and she even told her yesterday how she crossed paths with Mr. Mellark and how charming and handsome he still was.

She knows the story about when they were young and how they almost got married so it doesn’t come as a shock that her mother still looks at Mr. Mellark sort of differently even when she knows that her mother loved her father wholeheartedly. She firmly believes that you can love someone else with the time, differently but it still is love. 

Her mother even asked her if she was being careful when she found out about Peeta. Prim laughed so hard that her stomach hurt and she even cried. She, on the other side, had turned an awful shade of red. She just cleared her throat and mumbled a sure.

She wouldn’t tell her mom that yes, she was being careful and that no, she wouldn’t get pregnant because they were both very careful with that.

She wouldn’t tell her mom that she was not as pure as she thought anymore.

It was something that had happened between them and that had been…in one word: amazing. Amazing even if it was awkward and messy but well, it’s gotten better the more they…practice. 

But that’s another matter and she won’t get further into it. That’s between them.

But other than that embarrassing suggestion her mom is almost back to herself. That sad shine that seems to be stuck in her eyes hasn’t gone away but she suspects that without someone else in her life that’s going to remain there because of her dad.

She even goes as far as to tell her mother that it is okay to meet people and to go out with people if that is going to make her happy again. Her mom nods and smiles at Prim’s and Katniss’ eager faces.

She walks decidedly and gets into the bakery where she finds Rye and he waves happily.

“Hey sis!” he smiles.

“Hey Rye! How are you?”

“Great! You here to look for Peet?”

“Yes, I am looking for him. Is he here? Or is he running away because he knows I’ll kill him?” Rye laughs and shakes his head.

“He is here. Back there!” he says pointing to the door that takes to the back of the bakery. She nods and walks over there. As she gets to the door she can see him through the small round window in the door. He is kneading some dough and she smiles.

She loves how concentrated he looks when he is doing something bakery related. He loves that he can do those things even blind and how sure of himself he looks. She still remembers how he used to tremble or wince whenever he was doing something in the bakery after his mom left. She remembers how hard it was for him to trust himself and how hard they worked together to help him regain his self esteem and trust on himself. They sure have come a long way from those days.

She opens the door but he doesn’t look up, he just keeps kneading.  
“Hey” she says and he smiles.

“Hi Katniss”, he smiles stopping his work.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were back?” she asks with her hands on her hips. “I had to find out through gossip”

“I’m sorry I’ve been dealing with a lot. Besides it’s only been two days honey” he says and laughs lightly. How she missed that God damn laugh!

“I know…not that I’m needy or anything but well…Alli hasn’t come over has she?” she asks and Peeta laughs again.

“No, I talked to her over the phone the other day. She said she’s keeping her distance because she wants to live another day. Did you threaten her?”

“No…I didn’t say a word” Katniss answers smiling.

“Not necessary” Peeta laughs. She goes and hugs him from behind.

“I missed you so much” she says and he places one floury hand over hers.

“I missed you too…I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you were I was going but…I can now, if you still want to listen”

“Sure I do” she says and suddenly her phone starts ringing. “Wait a sec!” she says pulling the phone out. “Hey Alli!”

“Where the hell are you? Did you forget we were delivering cookies today?”

“No, I didn’t forget”, she says but of course she forgot.

“You forgot!”

“No, I am on my way now!”

“You can’t lie to me Everdeen! You are in the bakery with Peeta aren’t you?”

“Pfft…Of course I’m not at the bakery with Peeta! Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute!” she hangs up. Peeta sighs.

“You have to go?”

“I’m sorry! I have to go! I’ll call you, okay? So I can go wherever you are when I finish with them!”

“Sure, don’t worry honey!” he says and she gives him a peck before she runs off.

She doesn’t know why but Peeta almost looked sad that she had to go in that right moment and that he couldn’t tell her whatever it is he has to tell. She is sure it can wait. She can think of a lot of rewards for him for leaving him like that.

She smiles and blushes. God, she needs help!

XOXO  
“That was faster and different to what I expected!”

“I couldn’t tell her!” he says sighing.

“Well, you are going to be able to soon enough!” Rye smiles and pats his little brother’s shoulder.

“Yeah, you are right” he smiles sadly.

XOXO  
“So… Everdeen! You went to the bakery can I go visit Mellark now?” Katniss laughs.

“Sure, you can go visit him tomorrow”

“You are giving me permission?” she asks and puts a hand over her heart as if being touched.

“As a matter of fact…I am” she says and punches Alli lightly on her shoulder. Both girls laugh.

If Alli thinks back to the first time she met Katniss Everdeen she can only remember a jealous girl who didn’t know how to act around Peeta, a girl who later on broke her heart but that along the way had shown him many things and opened his eyes to many others.

A girl who learned to open her heart and not to let past situations and someone else’s emotions and reactions keep her from learning to love and to be loved. Katniss Everdeen is not the shadow of the girl she first met.

She even helped her with her step father’s problem. Well, Alli’s problem. The moment she turned eighteen and after a last beating Katniss, Rye, Wheaton and the rest of the crew helped her get settled in a new apartment with her little brother. She got a job, she got into Peeta’s school and she got her little brother.

If she thought about herself too she is different from the girl who helped the bitter Peeta and who helped Katniss a couple of years ago.

Time can change things in drastic ways and the best part is that those changes were beneficial to all of them.

XOXO

Haymitch Abernathy used to be a drunk.

Everything changed when he went over to his sister’s house a couple of years ago to find her broken down in front of the TV after watching footage of a particularly fatal car accident.

He decided to get help for her and to get her nieces out of that God damn place. There was nothing in the cupboards and the fridge was practically empty. He had to do something! So he took both girls to his house and stuck the cupboards and the fridge with all kinds of food and things. 

He made sure that they did not need anything anymore in terms of food or anything else.

He loved the sweet disposition of the little one. She made sure to hide his liquor and so he started the long way of sobriety. He loved the little girl who wasn’t so little anymore.

She even helped to get Maysilee to him. He was now married and he loved his life. Something he never thought he would say again.

The little girl is happy now. She is not so little anymore. She’s got a boyfriend who Haymitch admits isn’t half as bad and she is going to Med school. She’s got great grades and never gives him any kind of trouble. He tends to think that she isn’t a normal teenager.

He loves Prim.

But his favorite, his favorite is the kid. He knows he is supposed to say Katniss but well, he likes her too is just that she isn’t the kid.

Katniss brought the kid over. He admires the girl. He admires her fire and her never stopping stubbornness that got her through all those bad days, those days when her mother wasn’t able to provide for them. Katniss is a girl to be admired.

She won a scholarship and went all the way to New York. He brags about her whenever he can because he is proud and if he is honest he considers the girl his daughter. He will never admit that he brags about her or any of the things he’s said about her. He loves her too. 

And even better than all of those things is the fact that she brought the kid. Blind and all but he is his favorite for what he has done to her girl. He’s changed her and made her better in many ways. She’s done the same for him but her change was the one he was grateful for the most.

His sister is back on track but has left them to him. He is grateful for that, he doesn’t really know what he would do if they were taken away from him. Not that they won’t eventually leave. The moment is getting close and he dreads it. 

Haymitch Abernathy is not a drunk anymore. He is a husband, an uncle and a father and he loves it.

XOXO  
Katniss knocks on the door of Peeta’s home.

The sweet smell of cheese buns and pasta and other stuff invades her nostrils and her mouth waters.

“Hello, Katniss!” greets Peeta’s father. “They are not back yet” he says and she thanks him turning around to leave.

“Come in! Dinner is ready anyways so come in!” he says and they get in. Soon after they are seated in comes Peeta, Rye and Wheaton all of them joking and punching each other.

“Hey Katniss!” greets Rye, Wheaton nods and Peeta sits next to her.  
After they are done Peeta takes her hand and asks her if they can go out. She nods and they walk out after Peeta’s dad insists that he doesn’t need her help with the dishes or anything else.

Over the course of her life Katniss Everdeen has realized that she’s never been very observant if not at all. Today is one of those days that maybe if she would’ve been; she would’ve seen what was coming.

“So…what’s up?” she asks as they sit in the old hammock. That thing will have to be replaced soon.

“I had to leave because I got a call before you got back”

“A call?”

“From the hospital, some doctors. They wanted to chat with me about my problem. They had been trying to contact me for a long time but my mother denied to give then any information in regards to where they could locate me”

“That bitch!” she says in a whisper and she sees him smile.

“Well, they contacted me and they…told me there was this procedure that they could try to perform on me…that could help me”  
“Help you? Like…to see again?” she asks. He still has the sunglasses on so she can’t really see his eyes with the dim light that the lamps give. She can’t see and she is dying to. 

“Yeah, like to see again. But they weren’t sure if it was going to work. Too much time had passed and there was a chance it wouldn’t work”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she says reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

“I was going to tell you when you came back from New York. I was ready to even if deep inside I wanted you to run away like you did and not have to tell you”. He says.

“Why?”

“You have to understand ever since they told me that, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I had my moments of hopefulness and my moments in which I didn’t believe it would work and felt desolated…it wasn’t good Katniss! It was a dark moment…and I didn’t want to put you through the same. I wanted to spare it from you!”. 

“I would’ve liked to be there for you!” she says sadly. “I should’ve been there for you!” she insists because she knows she should have, that’s what she’s there for right? 

“You kind of were Katniss!”, he says and it sounds strange, she doesn’t understand. 

She is dying to ask. She wants to know if it worked.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you! I even dreamed of you in most occasions!” he says and she sighs laughing lightly. 

“Only you can say sappy things like that and not get me mad!” she says and she blushes.

“I love how you blush!” he says and her eyes widen. He places his hand on her cheek and strokes it sweetly. He loves how she blushes? What?! “You look beautiful!” he says again as his thumb moves appreciatively over her cheekbone. She can’t really speak. Her mouth feels dry and she isn’t sure if she is breathing. 

“My…I…how…it…it worked?” she asks barely getting it out and he nods smiling at her. The feelings overwhelm her and she isn’t sure of exactly what it is that she is feeling. 

“The light still hurts my eyes and I can’t see perfectly…not like I used to before the accident but I can see you now!” he says and she jumps into his arms and hugs him and kisses him any place she can. He laughs too, releasing her face only to hug her back too and he lets a few stray tears fall.

“Why are you a crying?” she asks as she cleans the few stray tears but she is crying too and she knows he is not sad but these are happy tears and that her tears are happy tears too.

“They don’t know how it worked, it was almost a miracle” he says sniffling a little.

“Who cares!? You can see Peeta! You were perfect before and now…now you went over the bar!” she says as she hugs him.

“Shut up Katniss!” he says and he kisses her.

He looks at her and takes her face between his hands and she takes his glasses off. The lights aren’t very bright out here and she is dying to see his eyes. His neon blue eyes, the first thing she ever saw from him, the very thing that made her remember he was her savior not only because he gave her the bread but because he showed her how to love, how to be different, he showed her to be free; his neon blue eyes the very same thing that had brought them together. The beautiful neon blue eyes that she loves so much. 

He is looking at her and it is as if he can’t stop looking at her. She smiles and the blush doesn’t leave her cheeks, she knows because they feel warm. 

XOXO  
He feels happy and she is so perfect. So much more than he remembers her to be with those grey brilliant eyes, olive skin, her freckles and brown braid. 

It is going to sound cliché but this moment, this precise moment here looking at Katniss and knowing that she is his and that he is hers, this is happiness.   
It doesn’t matter how much he hurt. It doesn’t matter how many things happened to him; everything, every single unexpected situation brought him to this moment, this place, and he will never regret a single thing.

He saw her from afar for years never talking to her always, secretly wishing he could. Little did he know that it had taken the accident to bring them to the place where they needed to be. Not only for him but for her too, because the accident that led to Prim and her living with Haymitch, the accident they had seen on T.V. that day that made her mother break down had been his.

The accident had brought blindness and bitterness to him. He had been bitter for days to no end and receiving the abuse from his mother had only worsened. But it had brought Alli to him. A person who never gave up on him even on his worst days, even when he would do nothing but stay quiet, a person who had shown him what real strength was and that even when you were in a terrible situation you could always do worse, so you had to keep up a good attitude. You had to fight through. 

It had brought Mr. Cinna’s class and with that Katniss as his partner. It had gotten him to know her like he wouldn’t have been able to in other circumstances and even when they had their ups and downs it had led to them being together. Katniss had brought with her: happiness and new friends Finnick, Gale, Johanna, Annie, and even Haymitch.

She had changed everything for him. She made him see again with her descriptions, she made him trust people again, trust her, trust himself and she had gotten him to do many things he never thought he would be able to do due to his blindness before her.  
She had changed everything.

She had shown him what true love was. That you have to trust the people you love and that even when you think love is perfect it isn’t. That it doesn’t matter if it isn’t because that’s what love is about: imperfection. 

And for all of that he is thankful because now he knows that it doesn’t matter what it takes to get you where you are supposed to be and how unexpected situations in life are, wherever you have to be, there’s where you will end up.

And he couldn’t be any happier than he is right now.

AN. Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you string along for the epilogue and I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you followed or favorite or even reviewed my story! You all are awesome! And if you wish to write dare to do it! 

I hope that you liked the story and that you will let me know if you did or didn’t!


	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.

He smiles as she watches her laughing with her brown hair to the wind and her big blue eyes. It is true what they say: that you don’t know what you’ve got until you don’t have it anymore. That happened with his sight. He has it back now but for a moment there he had to learn to live in darkness. He won’t say he regrets that happening to him. As he has said before he is thankful that something like that happened to him. Otherwise he wouldn’t have the life he does now. 

He looks down at the baby on his arms. He is sleeping peacefully after keeping both Katniss and him up all night. He is beautiful too. He traces his cheek with his index finger until he reaches the plump little lips. The baby boy yawns tiredly, blinks a few times and goes back to sleep. 

“Uncle Peeta!” yells the little girl. “Can I see the baby?” she asks with pleading gray eyes. 

May is Haymitch and Maysilee’s adopted daughter. She doesn’t even look adopted since she has Haymitch’s exact shade of gray eyes and Maysilee’s exact shade of blond hair. She is seven years old and she is adorable. It took them some time but they finally got her after a lot of trouble. The little girl has been a blessing to them all. 

“Of course you can” he says and the little girl climbs his leg in order to sit too on his lap next to the baby. He is only a few weeks old so mostly what he does is sleep and cry and eat. He’s got his blond hair and her gray eyes. Both their children are the perfect combination of both Katniss and him.   
“Aunt Alli!” yells the little girl turning around forgetting the baby and he sees his little girl running towards Alli too. Both girls cling to her legs and she laughs whole heartedly. She places a hand and takes a few steps with a girl in each leg until she reaches him. 

“Hey Peeta!” she smiles and he smiles back. 

The first time he had seen her after the operation had been a surprise. He never asked for a description of her when he was blind and he never cared about that sort of thing in his bitterness, not even later when he was better but when he saw her he realized that his mind had made no justice. 

She was a beautiful person not only on the inside which was what he got to know first but on the outside too. They never stopped being friends. If there’s someone he has to thank aside from Katniss it is this girl. 

“Hey! What are you doing here? And alone?!” he asks and she laughs. 

“You know I’m not here because of your birthday right? I came for the cake! And I had to leave those guys behind…they were making me late and I couldn’t miss the cake. They will stop by later” she says pointing to inside the house where the cake is on the countertop in the kitchen. He only shakes his head and laughs. Alli is engaged to a guy she met while on a trip to Central America where they were helping kids with disabilities to be self sufficient. They fell in love immediately and she brought him back with her after the six months they spent in the little town together.   
He had become best friends with her little brother (who isn’t that little anymore) immediately. Up to the point where sometimes Alli felt left out. She laughed it out she was very pleased at the same time by the way the guy, Joe as everyone called him, got along with everyone. Peeta liked him. 

“Girls…let go of aunt Alli’s legs” scolds Katniss coming out. “It’s time for the cake” she announces and the girls run out laughing. They watch as Johanna runs after little Finn and both her son and her daughter laughing. Finnick is on the other side catching the kids when they reach him. 

If it’s possible Katniss has gotten even more beautiful as the years have passed. She shakes her head at Finnick’s and Jo’s antiques. She knows they both are big kids, which explains perfectly well why they are married to Annie and Gale respectively. 

“You placed all 34 candles in that thing?” Alli asks surprised counting the candles on top of the cake. Katniss laughs and nods as she walks to the table in the middle of the garden where everyone is sitting. All of their friends and their kids are in their house today. 

He stands up and follows them. Katniss takes the little boy from his arms and places a kiss lovingly on Peeta’s cheek as Alli lights all the candles. All the while complaining about the 34 and how much wax they are going to eat. 

As he sits in front of his cake he can’t help but to smile as he watches his friends with their kids and as he sees his wife with the little boy in her arms. He feels a tug on his jeans and sees the bright blue eyes looking up at him. He doesn’t think he will ever get tired of them and the way she looks at him. He scoops her up and she squeals as he places her on the bench so she can blow the candles with him. 

After he finished school he came back home for good. Everyone he loved was here in this town and he couldn’t think of another place to live. His paintings were famous so he could work at home and send them when required by his contract to the expositions and still work at the bakery. 

Katniss’ and his relationship was strong and if it was possible he fell more in love with her every passing day. She helped him get used to his sight and the way things were now. They spent a couple of years that way. 

It had taken him a couple more of years to convince Katniss to have children. Getting her to marry him had been the easiest part. He still laughs when he remembers how that happened. 

He had been working all day and was really tired when Alli showed up with a bright red wig on her head. She was starting a project and she wanted his opinion. They were laughing and joking as they always did but to an outsider it probably seemed like a different kind of relationship. Katniss being the jealous person that she is never, not once stopped to see who he was talking to before getting into the bakery kissing him passionately and introducing herself as his fiancé. 

Her face when she realized that the other woman was Alli with a red wig had been priceless. Alli and he had laughed for days after that.   
Later that day in a conversation he had proposed to her as a joke, thinking that she would say no, of course but she had surprised him by telling him that it was a bad joke and that she did want to marry him for real. 

“Marry me, Peeta” she had demanded and of course he had only laughed and agreed to it. The celebration of that night leaving them with a few friction burns but having been the best of all. To this day he still teases her that the only reason she proposed was because of the gum wrapper rings that he had used for the joke. She now sports a small and modest band with a few diamonds. 

As time passed and she refused to have children their relationship had grown tense. She often asked him to leave her and find someone who could give him what he wanted and he would get really mad which would lead to a big fight. Later each would apologize. 

It took a lot of time and a lot of effort but finally after a few years she had relented and they had started trying. The road that led them to their little girl was not an easy one. At first she wouldn’t get pregnant and when she finally did she was scared most of the time which led to her closing herself to him. Those were hard months but when the baby was born and they had her in their arms every doubt and fear vanished completely. And needless to say motherhood had kicked in and suited her. 

The little girl had conquered them with her blue eyes and sweet disposition. She was too much like her father. He was sure the little boy would be much like his mother. 

Now at thirty four and having gone through so much in his life Peeta Mellark could only thank God for all the unexpected things that he had thrown his way, all those little and big things that had changed his life irremediably; and that had led him to where he stood today. 

He could think of a couple of times in which he felt he couldn’t be gladder for having his sight back, one of them Katniss in her white dress, seeing his little girl for the first time and more recently seeing his little boy for the first time. 

He felt like he had it all. Good friends, good nieces and nephews (most of them by name only), a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids. 

Peeta Mellark was now and artist, a baker, a husband and a father and as he said so long ago…he couldn’t be any happier than he is right now. 

AN. I hope I didn’t disappoint with this. I am terribly sorry for how long it took me to post the epilogue but real life got in the way. Let me know if you liked it. Also I’m posting a new story…it would make me really happy if you could take a look and tell me if it is worth reading. It’s going to be short and I have just one chapter left to write. Thank you for everything!!!


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